Death.

My uncle has passed away from cancer. Dont ask me what kind because from what I know it spread everywhere and thats all that matters. He was young but I dont know the exact age. He was around his young 30's. He has two children. A daughter that is 10 (or 11) and a son that is 3. He also had a son die at birth that would be around the age of 5 at this time.

I have to tell you that im not one to cry and weep over the loss of people. I guess it has to do with the fact that I (emotionally) have became accustomed to seeing people leave me during my childhood. Its sad but whatever. It gave me a tough skin.

The timing was shit. Not that there could ever be good timing in this case. I will break it down for you.

-May 13th 10:45pm: I get home from a night out at a restaurant with a big group of friends. I sit with my mom and dad and have a talk about life, friends, and people in general. This goes on for a good two hours.

May 13th 1:00am: I head to bed and noticed my cell phone was dead. I use my cell phone's alarm feature to wake up and without it I would be late for school. So instead of waiting for it to turn on I just asked my mom to wake me up at 8 in the morning so I could go to school. Something I have never done. Ever.

-May 14th 1:30am: I watched some TV and my phone had time to charge and turn on. I take my phone out and check my apps. Horoscope, weather, and my email. Then turn on my alarm and head to sleep.

-May 14th 3:00am: My dad comes into my room and wakes me up. He tells me that he is packing and that he is leaving $100 on my desk for emergencies. It all seems rushed but at the same time I didnt feel in danger or worried for my parents safety and well being. I asked them what happened. Remember I was half asleep when I had been woken up. He told me my uncle died. At that time my mom came into my room and yelled at my dad for waking me up because I had school the next day and at that point they left and I feel asleep.

-May 14th 8:00am: My mom comes in and tells me to wake up. I tell her I dont want to go to school and im missing my first period so she goes to write me a note. She comes back with it and tells me she is leaving at 9am to go to the airport.

May 14th 9:00am: My uncle (from my dads side. irony?) comes to take my parents to the airport. I hug my mom, while she is in tears, then my dad. They head down stairs and as they leave I hear my mom: "Its no fair." It hit me hard.

May 14th 11am-1:12pm: I was at school. I actually skipped another class and came at lunch. It was an off day and I was keeping my self "ok" by being a total asshole. It was how I got my anger out. I bitched out a few freshman threw out the day. There was 10min where I happened to be alone and I started to loose it. I started balling but was forced to stop when I heard someone coming. Then I went home. I sat im my car in the driveway of my house for a good 10min just listing to the nature with the windows down. It felt good. I was a mess.

May 14th 5pm: I had to go to school for call time. It was closing night. I didnt want to go. It the last show I will ever tech/be in with all my friends. Ever. I went to the gas station and grabbed two energy drinks and chugged them on the way. I got there and we did "circle." It's where we all get in a circle (usually just actors but it was senior night so techs go as well) and we take turns talking. It gets really emotional. You know, because I didnt have enough to cry about already. It finally got to me and I had to make sure to use the right words or else I would loose it and not be able to stop. Everything I said was very basic. No details. Yet, somehow, my speech was more meaningful then anyone else's.

May 14th 6:15pm: The show opens in 15min and we just finished circle. Everyone was asking me if I was ok because they saw it in me. I was a wreck. It was hard but I convinced them to not worry about it and go on with the show. Like I said, If i would have started to cry I wouldnt have stopped for days.

May 14th: 8:45pm: By this time the show was over. My parents were on their final flight (to a place far away). I decided to go to the cast party even though I was still upset. From there on it doesnt matter.

May 15th is my fathers birthday. Happy birthday dad. See you in two weeks.