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on Monday, April 26, 2010
God I wish I could show you the pics. I look smoking hot. Actually I think I will post one. If i do it will be tomorrow for 48 hours then I'll take it down. Just so no one finds it after that and you guys get to still see it. That is if you guys want me to post a picture at all...

So prom night went Ok. We didn't hit up a crazy party after because of a few reasons. One was because our party got pushed to 2am and it was to late by then because Lesbian went to a party (yah she ditched us after to go) at a hotel that got busted and then we were all trying to figure what happened. So at 3am we finally got word that she was ok and at home then we headed to my house and fell asleep at ike 4am.

Anyway so we went to dinner with the group of us at P.F. Changs. Then headed to the dance. Got pics. Then left and hung out and then the party thing happened.

This blog sucks cause im watching TV while typing it. Oh well.

It's Been A While...

on Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wow. So here is an update:

Monday: I stayed home sick.
Tuesday: Stayed half day at home and went to school. Then HAD to work sound for a show.
Wednesday: Got a $20 gift card to target which I'm going to use to buy props for a music video. Then did nothing.
Thursday: Is today.

Now to the important stuff.

My mom is being a pain in the ass. Wait. Let me backtrack. My parents and I had this HUGE talk about all this stuff. Like how im being irresponsible and how im not respecting them. All this bullshit basically. My mom searched my car and found weed. Now I had no recollection of this weed being in my car. Turns out that this was from over a year ago from the FIRST time I had ever smoked and I had forgotten about it. Anyway, I promised to be a better son and then thats where that ended. At least with my dad...

My mom is still being a bitch. Listen. I LOVE my mom but sometimes she pushes the limits. Examples? She called my school twice to make sure I had turned in my absence notes. Called my councilor to make sure I'm turning in my absent work. Oh and she "reminded" me at least 6 times that I have to do all of those things. WTF?!?! Really? Get off my ass women. You are pushing my limits and im so fucking sick of it.

Prom is this weekend. I dont want to go. Im not going to the party's after and Im not going to have fun. Seriously we are eating at some shit restaurant because 2 of the 8 people dont have money. (READ: IN N OUT WAS AN OPTION!). Then we are heading to the dance for like 20min cause no one really cares about the dance and it always sucks. Then we are going to "hang out" because the party we were going to was at a hotel, costs 50$ to get into to (to pay for room plus drinks) and then I would half to drive 30min, drunk, at 3 in the morning, to get home. Im being negative about this but you know what. I really rather just save my money and NOT go. The only problem is that my date REALLY want to have that prom picture so her parents can put it next to her brothers.

Also. Im stressed out. To much to deal with right now. When I stress out I usually tend to just procrastinate more and more and then I get more stressed. Yah. Im doing it now. =[

3 Days Ago.

on Saturday, April 17, 2010
Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. I haven't been on in three days. So what has happened? Well. My mom has been a total pain in the ass. We just had a huge conversation and now everything is cool again. Im still in my "rolling eyes" state though. They are so fucking annoying sometimes, but they are my parents and I love them.

Im home alone now... Im going to work on this website I'm building and then maybe edit a few videos for my youtube channel. I didnt end up having sex that one day. Shit came up and I had a meeting after school and then had to drive my friend to the hospital to see her mom. Oh and my mom was bitching and we got in a fight. So my horniness that day was at a minimum. I would invite him over now but I kinda dont want to have sex at my house... especially with the whole parent conflict JUST not being resolved.

Youtube has been amazing. I have met so many cool people and have been growing so much (creativity and technique wise). Also I have been putting out good quality videos every week now for 4 weeks in a row. My old channel was really random and kinda crappy. Anyway...

I'll talk to you guys latter. =p Byee

Most Random Blog Ever. (yet it has important stuff... kinda)

on Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I dont know what to title this. Its going to be pretty random. First I wanted to let you all know that I am going to start having sex again. If you know me I was like "no sex till I find someone I love" yah... im kinda over that lol Anyway.

That guy. You know the one I liked but didn't like and it was all complicated. Well it isn't anymore. He is dating someone. Met him today. I would like to let you all know (not trying to sound egotistical) that im way hotter then this kid. If I'm an 8.5 he is a 6. Yah.

I'm not jealous (p.s. I always spell that word wrong... thank you spell check). I'm not disappointed. I'm not even bummed out. So that leads me to think that I didn't really like him. I kinda just liked the idea of liking him. If that makes sense whatsoever.

I need to start loosing weight. I gained like 10 pounds and I need them off. I'm not fat I just have a couple pounds I want off. Seriously I am so lazy when it comes to working out. Also I am one of those people that get really bored at the gym. During the summer I went at least 5 days a week. So yah. I need to start going again. Especially since I have a paid membership lol

Prom is NEXT WEEK!! I dont even have a suit. =[ fail? yah pretty much lol

We might be going to California this weekend but I doubt it and If we do im going to try to stay home and FILM FILM FILM. lol I have such a drive for making videos now.

What I dont have drive for: School. I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE... I want out.

I talked to shelby. I told her that I just needed a little bit of space and that she needed to just stop pushing my buttons all the time. I told her we were going to blow up at each other and that I just didnt want to be around her and let things cool off. So now everything is cool. For now. lol

Ok. I'm going to bed. P.s. I'm not wasting any time with the whole sex thing, texting a guy now...


on Sunday, April 11, 2010
So i'm going to pride for the first time this year. I'm really excited because I wanted to go last year but a stupid theater thing (well it was actually our production of Bye Bye Birdie) was in the way. Talk about gayness right? Anyways. I brought it up with my mom and she got disgusted. Yup. All the progress I thought we had gotten was instantaneously demolished by the look on her way and the "eww. are you serious?" that came out of her mouth.

Thanks mom. Love you to.

Anyways. I saw Date Night. It was sooo funny. Defiantly recommend you go see the movie. I'm going to prom with lesbian. Prom is next week. Pride the week after. Oh. I didnt do a "take home quiz" that is due tomorrow. Guess who is setting their alarm an hour early?? Umm. Oh yah and I watched the streamys. Wow.... lol

I'm going to film a music video this week. It's going to be legit. I'm really excited for it. I always strive for the best and I try my hardest to make everything seem legit and professional. As a judge of my short filmed said it: "Looks expensive!" haha The truth is I dont have an lighting, green screens, or film degree. Just a good quality camera, motivation, determination, and inspiration. =p

Now im going to bed. If anyone of you wants to donate to the cause of me getting lighting... IM JUST KIDDING!! haha. Just leave a comment telling me how YOUR day was =p It's nice to hear from you guys.


on Friday, April 9, 2010
I have a new theory on life. One that brings me happiness and takes out all the negative aspects in my life. I have realized that I need to cut the negative out and make more room for positive. How and what am I talking about? Let me explain:

In life many people go threw cycles. We meet and interact. These interactions lead to friendships, which lead to good and bad times. We look for fun and memories when we dream about our past. What we did and the mountain's we climbed. The fun always sticks out in our mind and the bad stays in the back by the pain and heartache. What we do as people is, at times, deal with the bad, in various ways, to get to the good. People use many methods to make do with the bad. It goes from an argument and fist fight to high school "drama."

What people don't comprehend is that if we take the negative out, the bad times, and stick with the positive, the good times, we will still reach the finish line.

So with that thought I started my art project. Cutting and pasting the negatives and creating a heart filled with positivity. It worked. It worked WELL. For the first time ever I feel happy for no reason other then being alive. I have that new found love for life. I feel like a dog with my head out the window and his tongue hanging out. Little things in life excite me. I no longer search for activities that will excite me because I am naturally excited. It's like im reborn all of a sudden.

Love is as pure as you make it. The word is strong for a reason.

One more thought. What made me have this epiphany? Shelby. I realized that the fun times were not outweighing the negative ones with her. She was one of those people I used the scissors and glue for. She thinks we are fighting but what she can't comprehend is that I don't believe in fighting any more. If I need to fight someone to make fun times later on its not something I need to be happy. So we are not friends anymore. She really does bring out the negative in me. Today, like I said, I was happy for no reason whatsoever other then being positive. Then in my LAST period at school shelby just took me out with the negative energy. Thats when I just left the room. It's going to take a while to completely take out all the negative pieces but I'm working on it.

So thats Johnism. =p love you all!

104. (was 105 but I guess I'm not THAT interesting)

on Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Thank you to you. Yah you definitely read that right. I have 104 followers today. I had 105 yesterday but whatever, I like even numbers anyways lol. I can't believe that 104 people care about my life. That is insane. I know its not like 10,000 but its a lot for me and I want you to know that I appreciate the fact that you care enough to read this blog. Seriously if your one of those followers and you dont usually leave me a comment PLEASE do. I want to hear your voice like you hear mine. I'm going to make sure to reply to each and every one of you that leaves a comment and say thank you! =p I love you guys!!

Anyway. I know I was going to tell you this story that is insane but 1) im super tired and 2) it might get some media attention and my school might be mentioned so for now (this week) it would be a good idea to wait it out and tell you guys later on. I hope you understand lol

So yah. I dont know what to do with this whole boy thing. It's bugging me. Every night I think about him and how I want to make some kind of move but I don't want to look like an idiot. The fact that he doesn't seem very interested doesn't help either. =[ We will see what happens...

I'm going to leave you with a thought... there was a 15 year old boy wearing a "i love lady gay gay" shirt that got sent home from school to change because his shirt caused a distraction. His shirt is a distraction? How about sports. Sports is a HUGE distraction. I'm sure that 99% of the kids that are in the football team dont give 2 shits on the day of a game when they are at school. Or how about rallies. How is that not a distraction. Well some would argue that this is a bad thing. I disagree. I think that the more and more this kind of stuff starts to happen the more we all as gays are going to start getting noticed and gain rights. We need there to be something wrong for it to be changed into a good.

My left knee is spazzing out and its really bugging me. It's like its out of the socket or something. Night lol

Major Part 2 & Boyfriend & Prom.

on Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I guess I didn't really get the message to you guys. So let's try once more lol

Im going to community college because my grades are not the 3.5 that I need to get into UCLA. So after a year of working my ass off (p.s. I'm going to continue to work my ass off after that year as well) I'm going to move on over to UCLA. I'm going to major in business because I want to go as far as I can go in life. That's where I was going with the whole motivated thing. I know I can make it at anything I want if I am motivated and I have the drive but the whole thing is if I do go into technical theater (sound), I won't be going as far as I would have, financially, then I would have with business.

I want to cuddle and hug him. I don't know if I like him just yet. It's confusing. I don't have that same intense feeling that I had with Jake where you can't stop smiling and all I do is think of him. Then I see him and I do want to just hug him and cuddle and kiss. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if to peruse him as a friend and then see what happens or just let things be and play out. He is also a tad immature. Not in a way where I think im so much more mature. In a way where he gets a little annoying sometimes.

Pride is this month. So is prom. Im going with lesbian to prom. I'm not that excited for prom. For the sole reason of I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO GO WITH SO IT REALLY DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING. lol.

OMFG! Funniest story ever! Hopefully I remember to tell you all tomorrow. Remind me if I forget in the comments for tomorrow's post. Are you guys liking that I'm posting regularly again? I like it. =p Talk to you guys tomorrow.

College Major.

on Sunday, April 4, 2010
I can't decide on a major. I'm most likely going to major in business but I can't decide. I'm thinking about either communications, film, technical theater, or business. I would love studying film. It would be the funniest 4 years of my life. The problem with that is after those 4 years there isn't much you can do with a film degree. So that is why im on the border. Now, I know you all are going to comment telling me that I should do what I love and follow my dreams but if you look at the facts it's a lot harder to make it with film degree then a business degree.

So where do I see myself in the next 10 years. I see myself being successful. I see myself very goal driven and focused. Something that I can't see my friends doing. So here is my plan. Im going to community college for a year and raise my GPA and then transfer to an out of state college. If the economy starts to brighten up then I will be moving to LA and going to UCLA. It all depends on how everything goes. What I can tell you is that college is going to be where I shine. I am going to put so much into this. This is not something to be overlooked. College is an opportunity that not everyone has.

High school was a joke. I fooled around freshman year and didn't take classes seriously. I really didnt put any time and effort into school. I wasn't looking at the future and sadly my parent's didnt really push me into seeing it as much as they thought they were. So now im sitting here with a 2.9 GPA going to community college. You would think that would make me feel like a failure. I'm not. I know that I have more drive then 95% of the people I will be siting in those classes with. I know that after a year I will have that all A's in all my classes and I will be transferring to a school that I can learn and excel at. So there. That's my story.


on Friday, April 2, 2010
My friends are starting to piss me off. I hate when people blow me off for no reason whatsoever or for stupid reasons. I'm sick of the attitudes and I'm sick of the bull shit. I'm seriously ready to go peace the fuck out and find new friends. Everyone thinks they are the shit and only are your best friends when they need you to be.


1)Lesbian. She was going to help me film a skit for my youtube channel and then I call her to let her know im ready and she goes: "Oh sorry. I'm going to a movie in 10min and I forgot to tell you." Really??? Fucking really? Oh and why the fuck didnt you invite me. Let me guess. You forgot. Ok. Fine.

2)Lets call her Panda. Every night we talk on Skype. We talk and shit but then all of a sudden when she is hanging out with another friend I call her and she treats me like shit and gives me an attitude because she doesnt need me at the moment because she has the attention she needs. Aka Im not needed at the moment.

3)I was meant to go shopping yesterday with a friend and then she never texted me till like 9pm and then was like OMG im so sorry i fell asleep lets go tomorrow. So im like ok. Today I text her and she gives me another excuse about how she can't go. aksdak fine.

Do you realize how shitty my friends are being??? ANYONE?? One minute I love them and am super happy and the next I can't fucking stand there faces. Agh Yah so thats the rant of the day. I needed to get it out there. Whatever. They all want to hang out tonight and chill at my house and smoke hookah and "kick it" but thats like 12 people at my house and I really dont feel like having them over after all that shit.

Good news is I got my eyebrows done and they look good. My hair is 2 long though =[ It's ok I think im going to get a haircut on tuesday. Sooo not excited for school to start. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day then today was.

The Trip. (and the Boy.)

on Thursday, April 1, 2010
Did I talk about this trip? I don't think so. If I have here let me go more in detail.

Me and three of my closest friends are going on a little trip this summer. So where are we going?? Well I'll tell you if you promise to not track me down and try to rape me (its not rape if you yell surprise!). Bad joke? Yah. Anyways... We are heading down to a place called: Six Flags Magic Mountain. AKA one of the places in this world I enjoy most. Thats one day. Then we have another day where we will be playing tourist around LA. We are going to be in LA for a total of 3 days. Well its two days plus two driving days because I dont want to drive during the night time. So here is the trip on order:

DAY 1: Drive from vegas to LA. Party at night and enjoy the company of some of my old friends. (I lived there until 4th grade and still have a bunch of friends down there)

DAY 2: Six Flags. Enough said.

DAY 3: Play tourist. =p

DAY 4: Breakfast at my favorite little cafe and then driving home.

So thats exciting!!

IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND STOP READING HERE AND TEXT ME SO I CAN TELL YOU PERSONALLY. K THANKS! =p So here we go. I'm going to tell you about this guy. It's complicated. I don't know if I like him yet. I'm still a little confused about the whole thing. Anyway remember how I was talking about my friend thats a lesbian having a younger gay brother that was 16. Yah. So we got to talking and he seems like a cool kid. Still a tad immature at time but at other times I can sit and talk with him and have the most amazing conversations. Which is a huge plus. He is cute in his own way. He really isn't the type I go for. He is tall with curly brown hair and his style needs a little work lol. Wow I made him sound really ugly. He really isnt though. He is also looking for a serious thing and thats something we relate on. I don't think he likes me though. If he does he definitely isn't showing any signs whatsoever. He always brings up this one guy he "really liked because" of this and that reason. Also its "wrong" because it my best friends little brother and she has made it evident that she doesn't want anything to happen there. Plus I also have a bad history with him. Remember the whole outing him thing. Yah... same guy. He posted a thing of facebook today: "think about someone..." so maybe? We hung out tuesday night and we talked about guys and shit. One of my friends was there (the one that knows about the blog) so I didnt flirt or anything just for the fact that I didn't want to look stupid. I have seen the guys this kid dates. They are hot. Me... well im self conscious so lets not talk about me. lol My friends try to convince me im "really hot" but there goes little old me thinking im fat and ugly. lol So idk. I also dont really think im his type. So whatever. We will see where this goes. The big thing here is not looking like an idiot. I really dont want to hear: "Um... your my sister's best friend. Im sorry but i dont like you like that." Especially after the whole thing with Jake.

Well. That makes up for about a week or so of missed blogs right? Well I hope so. I'll talk to you all asasp! Love you all!!