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Survey Sunday!

on Sunday, January 31, 2010
So here it is. Another edition of Survey Sunday. This week the pics are from the brand spanking new Me Myself nd Some Boys 2 blog =p Thanks again for reading and look for a good post tomorrow (lots to tell you guys!!) Alright get at it:

Who is hotter??






I already know who I picked. Who do you think is hotter? Leave a comment and I'll tally up the answers in the next post! =p

I Hugged A Trani! =p

Well... not a real one... I went and saw this high school's musical. I'm not sure if you know of it. Its not that big of a deal in the gay world. Its called RENT! Yah! A high school version of rent. It was great. The only thing they took out was the word fuck and the gays didnt kiss. There was tons of sexual interaction though so not bad.

The show was AMAZING. I never thought a high school could pull off what they did. It really was a great performance. The guy that plays Angel (the trani in question) was really nice. I went up to hi after the show and told him how good of a job he did and he gave me a hug. He seemed like someone I could totally be good friends with lol

Other then that there wasnt many guys that I found attractive there. Whatever... I know that Jake (the douche that fucked me over) went yesterday (friday). P.s. By the time I post this it will be sunday because its fast midnight. Im still righting it as if it was Saturday...

Look for the sunday survey tomorrow(aka latter today according to blogger)! There is going to be some really cute guys t choose from!! =p

I'll also get to the comments and e-mail tomorrow (later today).

ITS THE CLIMB!!!!!! (3 Gays In Seclusion...)

on Friday, January 29, 2010
No... I'm not listing to Miley Cyrus. I went out with lesbian to Red Rock Canyon. =p It was so much fun. We had a blast and her little brother came with. He is 15 and he's also gay. So it was basically 3 gay peeps up in the mountains. Fun stuff right? haha.

Anyways. My mom is still being a total douche. Im not saying that as the annoying immature teen that wants "space." Im saying it as the mature 18 year old (IN ONE MONTH!) that just cant stand the fact that his mother is treating him like shit because she is depressed and in pain. She really is just throwing all the anger my way. Just taking it all out on me.

Im going out with friends tomorrow to see a show. My short film is in its final stages. I would call it a rough final draft. Im going to ask people to watch it. I want to find people that have no bias though. People that dont know me. Im sorry guys you pretty much know me lol So im not going to post it here... I would but it has my real name and my friends names and thats not something i just going to put out on the internet.

Im in much better of a mood and I really really really appreciate all the nice comment you guys made with the advice! It means more then anyone would ever know. You comments really do help me make the right choices sometimes and for that I owe you =p

P.s. i only used the smiley face once in this post. im in rehabs from smiley if you will! haha

Family. Depression. The Future. Being Gay. Feelings.

on Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Treat this post as a journal... If you would like to comment on my feelings and emotions then please do so in a positive way. Please understand that this post is just that. My emotions on paper (or in this case on the blog).

My day involved many ups and downs. It started with my comment about being sick. I called my mom from my bed and asked her if I could stay home from school because I wasn't feeling well. She was very hesitant in saying that I could and while doing so pointed out that I was missing school and that it was a bad decision. So yah. Maybe my sickness isnt the worst it could be. Maybe I just needed this day off, if not for the fact that I was sick but for the fact that I just needed the day off. She didnt notice this. She didnt care.

My mom is depressed. I can see it in her eyes. I can tell something is wrong but I dont know what it is. I cant sit here and explain how I know. I just do. I dont know what she wants out of her life anymore. I dont see the same person I saw a couple months ago. My mom was always at work. Leaving me without one. I hated it. I always commented about it. Now she is at home all the time. Yet this time she is mentally absent.

I tried ok. I asked her what was wrong and when she denied anything being wrong I even asked her for the truth for a second time. Its not in my power. I cant turn the TV and make her talk to me. Its out of my control. So fine. I can see how this is going to end and im not going to be the one to stop it this time. If she wants to lose me in her life then fine. I dont think she really cares anymore anyway.

You know who you guys never hear about? My dad. You know why? No... he's not dead. He just isnt there. I cant sit here and tell you that my dad is there for me. He cares, sure, but he isnt there. He is worse then my mother. The only proof I can show you of that is that when I talk about my parents his name doesnt even come up. Not on purpose either. Its just because I forget.

I'm done with this family. By done I mean im out. Im emotionally and physically drained. As soon as high school is over so is our connection. Yes, they provide for me. They provide everything but the one thing I want most. Maybe im asking for too much. Maybe a relationship with my parents is something that I'm never going to have. If so, then fine.

Im going to start smoking weed again. Its a personal decision I have made. Its not a social thing and its not something im going to tell my friends about either. Just like this blog, its something I need to get my feelings out. Something to give me a happy median. So that I dont need to need.

I have realized that I dont want a boyfriend anymore. I just want to be alone right now. Im going to try to keep a few friends that I think are good people. The rest im cutting ties with. I'm turning 18 next month. Im going to start living.

My mom just came in my room:

HER: "Your not going to sleep? You have to wake up early tomorrow" (in other words: your going to school tomorrow.)
ME: "Why would I wake up early?"
HER: "You have school tomorrow?"
ME: "That doesnt mean that i have to wake up early." (i can play the game too right?)
HER: "I left you a note." she then leaves.

5 min latter she walks in without nocking on the door this time (i closed the laptop. she nows im hiding something. note: i think she knows im hiding something because she didnt question it. if she knows about this blog and is reading it I wouldnt be surprised. That is just like her.)

HER: "im leaving. im going out. bye." she leaves.

Im so done. Fuck I dont care anymore. I dont care about school. Or friends. Or people. Or a job. Or money. I care about this though. This blog is me. It's who I am. Its my life. My true life written down. Im listing to a song called The Past. It speaks to me. Like it was written just for me.

Im getting the fuck out. (im in tears.) I cant do this anymore people. I NEED TO GET OUT!! All these side projects. All these ideas and distractions cant hold me together anymore. The pain is to strong. Its to fucking strong.

I know people are dying and have it worse then me. I know i have a "lucky" life. It all looks good on the outside but its note. Im just sick of it all. I know you can call me out on being a cry baby and I know you call me out and tell me im lucky to even have parents but sometimes, just sometimes, being lucky isnt a very good thing at all.

I just want to graduate and leave. Start my life and move on. Fuck the past here's the present. I dont want to go to college anymore. I really dont want too. I just want to fucking start my life already. I dont want to sit in class anymore. I dont want to study anymore. I dont want to write about life. I WANT TO LIVE IT ALREADY! Yah i know... "u have all the time in the world to live your life." yah. well guess what. I dont give a flying fuck. Im ready. Im telling you im ready. Give me a job and i'll work my ass up to get to the top. Just watch me.

I'm mad. At the world. I know it doesnt help to be mad and I shouldn't be because there is nothing I can do to change it right now but still, I'm mad. Do you realize KIDS have feel like they have to hide who they are? Why the hell does a 12 year old boy need to feel like he needs to lie about something so simple as to who he likes in the class. Why must a 17 year old be closeted? WHY? Why does this 17 year old have to hide who he really is from the world? It sounds so fucked up when I put it that way doesnt it? Again, I know. Everyone asks that question and there is no good answer. Im just saying my feelings. Its just pissing me off right now. Thats all.

Fuck this is long. (not to mention its the second post of the day). Sorry if this post was depressing and a total waist of your time. If you read it thanks. I appreciate the fact that you care. It means more then you will ever know.

iSick so iStayed home so iWatched the event for the iPad.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE apple. They really do revolutionize products and make competition play catch up. I'm typing on my Macbook Air right now while my iPhone is sitting by my side. So yes I'm an apple fan. The iPad disappointed me though. No flash on the web. Why?? Thats not even the worst. The worst is the fact that there is no multitasking. That really makes me angry. Why cant I have my twitter app open why I read my e-mail? Why cant I listen to pandora while im writing a essay on pages?

That said there are a few things that I really liked about the tablet. First is iBooks. This is something that I think is amazing. A whole book reader/store on an amazing sized screen. The whole design of it makes reading books feel more like... books. I liked that aspect. Another really cool thing they did was add iWork apps. For only $10 each! The apps (pages, keynote, and numbers) are really nicely built. They have all the functions you have in the regular app in a nice touch screen user interface. Very nicely done. Last is the pricing for the 3G. It has no contract and is only $30 for unlimited usage. That is 50% less then all the other laptop data plans.

I realize this is what you really wanted to read here but hey. This blog is about me and what's on my mind and you happened to fall into the hands of a apple lover. Sorry... Tomorrows post will make up for it. Promise =p

Nothing Exciting. Except...

on Monday, January 25, 2010
Well lets start off with the Survey Sunday winner. My choice was D. =p The overall was a tie between B + D. I really thought more people would like C but I guess not lol

Well I'm almost done with my short film! I'm super excited about it. I have to finish it by Saturday. That way if i need to make any last min. changes I'll have a couple days to do just that. I have built up so much hype for this thing its crazy. I know like 50 people that are so excited just to see the teaser that im posting tomorrow. I'm staying up all night and working on the film. It's going to be a long night lol

Thats the good thing about starting school at 3rd period. I get to sleep until 8am and still have time to get ready and eat breakfast. =p Im going to the gym tomorrow after school. Im excited for that also. NeverShoutNever's new album also comes out tomorrow so im really really excited for that. =p

Asked my mom if I could go shopping. Need to look really hot next week for the competition. Going to a theater thing means lots of gay guys. Last time I meet one named Jake. Remember him? The asshole that had a boyfriend a week after he said he liked me? Yah. Maybe this time ill find someone a little more... my type if you will. lol Also Jake's going to be there. Im thinking about what to say to him. "Hey! Hows it been?" or just ignore him. You know like he did with me until i found out threw FACEBOOK that he was "taken" yah. that asshole.

Anyway. Im getting my hair done and maybe a facial so a new outfit would be awesome! =p Im going to make him regret the day he stopped texting me back lol I dont care though. Im way over him. Notice how I barely speak of hi on here anyways...

Kids hears a lesson: guys are just guys. If you loose one its no big deal. It just means you are one guy closer to finding the right one. =p

Yes. You can quote me on that! haha night guys ill talk to you soon! p.s. what do you think i should say to him? Or should i just ignore him. Come on gays! GIVE ME SOME ADVICE! lol

Gay Shark!!! Survey Sunday!!

on Sunday, January 24, 2010
Haha so yesterday I had such an amazing time. We all went to this really good burger place where you can choose decide what you want in your burger. They have like 50 things you can add to it so that was fun! We then headed down to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay (the hotel on the strip). It was really cool. They had like all these crazy fish. One of the sharks fins had a limp and all my friends were like "hey! its a gay shark!" So that explains the title. haha We then headed to the planet hollywood and walked around there. After that we went to see the water show at the bellagio then headed back to planet hollywood and then went home. It was a really really fun night. I had a blast just hanging out with a big group of my friends. It ended at 12am so I didnt have time to make a post. So sorry for missing it yesterday. Anyways... off to the survey:

This weeks Survey Sunday pics come from Smutty Stuff! If you liked the guys make sure to check out the blog (link to the blog on the right side of my blog)

How Is Cutter??





I'll give you my answer tomorrow =p

School Dances. My Film. Im A Busy Bee.

on Friday, January 22, 2010
Sooooooooooooooo (warning. sarcastic and humorous post coming your way). Its sadies tomorrow. Which means the girls ask the guys to the dance. Which means im not going with anyone. Mostly because I dont like girls. They have vaginas and those gross me out. Not to mention that, compared to guys, they give horrible head. Anyways. Me and a couple couples (oh now thats funny!) are going to an undisclosed location and then to crab a bite to eat. Im not the only one going by myself. Lesbian is going as well so thats going to be nice. We arent going to go to the actual dance because its like $30 and they always suck. This is where living in las vegas, and the strip, come in handy. We make an awesome night out of it all while tourists look at us crazy for being such a big group of people all dressed similar. Its going to be a fun night =p

My film is actually coming together pretty well. I worked on it for 24 hours now. Not straight (no pun intended). I still have a bunch to do but its much farther then it was a week ago. The whole perfectionist thing is a curse but its also a good tool. I find myself wanted to take more time and more time out of my day to go and work on it. Over and over again. Its my baby. I must admit. It is pretty cute. It has my eyes and everything. =p

I just noted I ended both those paragraph's with a smily face. I didnt do that on purpose but this one was: =p

Anyways... I would tell you all this shit but my fingers hurt from editing all night. HOLY SHIT ITS 10pm!!! WTF! I was going to go out to a party. I thought it was only like 8:30. Wow. Well there goes my friday night... Oh well. Tomorrow will hopefully make up for it. If not then there is one every weekend so its not that big of a deal. Still kinda mad at myself...

I guess I'm going to go log onto MSN and see if anyone wants to chat. PEACE OUT HOMIES =p

Something Is Wrong...

on Wednesday, January 20, 2010
First I promised a friend Sam I would plug his blog. Check him out. He is new and needs a few followers:

I couldnt edit today. I sat there and watched it threw one time taking notes and then I stopped myself. I dont know why but I just couldnt. The focus was kind of there and so were the ideas but I couldnt do it. Its not that I got distracted or bored or lazy. I just felt like it was not the right time. So I stopped. I think I need to get myself into a state of the viewer. Something I feel I havent completely mastered just yet. So here is what im going to do. I need to be the character and not the editor or producer or anything else. I need to tell my story as if i was the character. How would i place it then.

This is my curse. Im NEVER satisfied with anything I do. Weather it be graphic/web design or if its a song I wrote. For some reason I am never satisfied. I look at it and I want more. I want it to be perfect. The very definition of perfect. I know that it cant be because thats impossible but I guess my brain dont know that.

Im struggling right now. Im not going to lie. Im down. Way down. Far lower then I should be. For some reason my mind/body are not in sync with each other. I dont know why or how it happened but for some reason I am not myself. Im going to go to sleep in a second. Its 11pm here. I cant even tell you guys whats wrong. I cant explain it. It just is. Something is wrong.

Im depressed. =[

Senior Ditch Day Bust... (tad bit of a rant)

on Tuesday, January 19, 2010
***please not this post was written with a tad bit of anger. dont take any of this to mean that I dont think that I did something I shouldn't have done. I just think its something stupid. Kind of like getting a ticket for walking backwards on the sidewalk. You would rant if that happened to you right?***

I have something to admit. It was senior ditch day and I did ditch with my friends. We made plans to follow the tradition and go drive up to Mount Charleston and spend the day up there in the snow having a blast like all the seniors before us had done. Except one thing: this year CCSD (our school district) set up camp half way up the mountain and decided to stop all the seniors going up to the mountain. WTF?!? We stood out in the freezing cold for 2 hours. These volunteer people wouldn't let us use our phones or even answer my moms phone call. They were going to make us leave the car up there and drive us and all the kids back to school (about an hour away). They had been doing this all morning and there were about 30 kids there but already about 60 cars parked. Luckily they realized there plan had failed and they didnt have enough cars and time to send us back because by the time we got there our school day was over anyway. So they let us go home and we have to go to the dean tomorrow morning and find out how we are getting punished.

Now keep in mind the following facts before you go all "you get what you deserve" on me. All 5 of us had 100% permission by our parents to not go to school and go up to the mountain. Last year our school news started with 12 seniors up on the mountain going "were the 09 seniors on senior ditch day and XXXXXXX starts now!" My teacher ended the day on Thursday (last day of the week cause we had friday off) with "see you wend." and "we are not doing anything on tuesday so have fun and dont party to hard the night before."

This is nothing new and its been done before. My district is HUGE. Think about around 12 schools each with around 4,000 kids and thats just the high schools I know of. Each year an estimate of 85% of seniors are absent on the first day of the second semester. My parents are so pissed off at them. The school district is taking the role of the parents and this is where control goes from over the top to outrageous and wrong. The ironic part is that the dean that is going to punish me totally ditched on his senior ditch day. This is just stupid. If I get in trouble my parents will back me up. Its just the fact that CCSD thinks they can go this far and they cant.

Survey Sunday! - Youtube Boys Edition!!

on Sunday, January 17, 2010
I would post a video each of these guys but I cant really just pick one so you guys can go and click the links and choose your favorite lol I tried to pick a verity of diffrent guys this time. Each one has its own style so its based on your preference! Hopefully this one is harder then the others if the others were too easy! No go check them out and COME BACK AND VOTE IN THE COMMENTS!!

YOUTUBE BOY 1: Deefizzy:

YOUTUBE BOY 2: Jeyyounit11 (Jeydon Wale):

YOUTUBE BOY 3: Adorian Deck:

YOUTUBE BOY 4: Hebimaru112 (Kris the gay one of the group)

Filming & Editing.

on Saturday, January 16, 2010
Yah thats basically what I did. I finished filming my short film and did some editing. I got so much done its amazing. The only problem is that I have to cut it done because its longer then I'm aloud to have it. Which really sucks because the cut is amazing the way it is.

I have to make this short though because I spent the night on MSN and now im super tired and need some rest. I'll make it up to you tomorrow with the SURVEY SUNDAY post!! Wooo! Who is excited??

I'm thinking if starting a twitter. I have a personal one and i love using it and I guess it would be a nice think to have so you guys know whats going on and we can communicate. Also im thinking about doing a chat thing. A certain day/time when I'll be on MSN and we can all talk together. Kind of like Ustream thing but without the video lol Who would be up for that??

Anyways ill talk to you guys latter. Add me on msn =p

MOTHER FUCKING BITCH TITS!!!! (Stupid Bitches and Age Restrictions)

on Friday, January 15, 2010
I couldn't decide on the title. It was between those two. So I picked both. I'll explain:

Every year all the seniors go up to an undisclosed location on senior ditch day and enjoy themselves. We were going to go up and rent a cabin the night before and spend the night. We cant now because you have to be 21 (not 18 like every other fucking hotel in vegas!) to get a room. Which is total bull shit. Why cant an ADULT rent a cabin?!?!

Anyways. I just got back from getting my eyebrows done and they look amazing. That is the one thing I think that guys should do. Some guys would look 10x hotter if they got their eyebrows done one in a while. I also worked on the film today. We went to the restaurant this morning and filmed a scene and I loved it. It turned out so good I cant help but smile when I watch the footage. Its EPIC. I still have to film another scene today (in about 30 min or so) at my house and then I'll be done with that. I think I'll throw a little cast and crew party to celebrate when its all done with. Just a thought.

Me and Lesbian decided to go the LGBT center next week. Its going to be interesting but im excited to see how it all goes down. Im kinda nervous about it We all know that gays can be a little judgmental.

Update on the mother situation: she is depressed. I kinda threw it at here. I was like "you seem depressed. Everything you do you complain about and your sick of it. 'im sick of cooking. im sick of this. im sick of that'" She responded with "wow. you know me better then anyone dont you?" so i guess I hit the write notes. lol

I'll talk to you latter!!

69! (OMG! DID HE MEAN LIKE 69, 69?!?!?)

on Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Well maybe. It depends on what you thought that 69 was. It stand for all of you AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL friends that I have that follow my blog! You guys are the reason that I love this place. I want to dedicate this post to you! =p I appreciate you guys more then you will ever know (or maybe you do know!).

First of all I want to thank You Tube Boys because they lined me on their blog and I had no idea!! So I will link back for sure! I also really love the site because they post video's of boys around my age(and sometimes younger) that post their coming out story and how videos about being gay.

So today I did a lot. I took my finals this morning and I had to wake up extra early because on finals week school starts at 7am (im a senior I start at 9 normally). My first final was in math 96 (which is also a college credit class) and I got a A on that final. Only missed 4 problems and no calculators were involved. Im a smart cookie! Then I had my English Lit final and I did pretty well on the exam part. Im not sure what I got yet but ill let you all know. We had to do an essay (which is worth more then the exam) and mine was so legit! It was the best paper I have ever written so im really exited to see what I got on it. =p So overall good testing day!

Then I went to BWW (buffalo wild wings) which is my favorite place to eat, EVER! I got some food and then head home for a couple hours. After those couple hours my friends came over and we worked on a movie trailer for a book that they had to do for their english class. It was fun because I basically did all the editing got to be in it. It turned out fucking EPIC! Its really really good. I hope I dont sound conceded im just really happy with the way it turned out lol.

Then I came on here and found out I have 69 fucking followers. Well they arnt fucking but you get what I mean. Im sure some of them arnt sexually active. Not that they couldn't be. It would be their choice. Ok. Im going to shut up know.<33>


Finals & Bull Shit.

on Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I got to sleep in today because I don't have a first period and we took 1st and 2nd period finals today. I got to school at 9 and left at 11. Yah only 2 hours. Tomorrow I have to be there earlier then I usually have to because we take 3rd and 4th and it starts at 7am. We will see how my body will handle that. I'm actually taking my 2 hardest finals tomorrow(math and English) but I'm sure I will do great.

I went with a couple friends and helped them film a trailer they are doing for extra credit for their English class. I know... I'm way to nice. I also got to be the main lead person and I got to shoot someone! So that was fun.

So here is a recap of what is going on with the short film:

-I shot 1 scene but then decided to throw it away.
-We were going to shoot during winter break but things where getting in the way.
-I lost one of the key characters and had to replace her with someone I have little faith in.
-I was going to film last Sunday but at 8am I got a call and the lead was sick. So I had to cancelled again.
-Our next filming day is Thursday after school and hopefully I can get the main scene out of the way.
-Friday morning we are filming on location at a restaurant and then at my house and that will be a rap for filming.
-Then I have a week to edit it all and send it in to not 1 but 2 different competitions. One is a film festival where I can win cash and another is a regional competition that I could end up going all the way t nationals with. =p

Im also thinking about doing this gap year program thing next year. Basically you take a year off before college and, in this case, go to another country and travel and learn about it. I get some credits also and its a fun experience that most people dont get to do. Its just a thought. I kind of just want to get college out of the way ASAP and then move on but my cousin is slowly convincing me otherwise.

E-Mail. (no crazy title but good post)

on Monday, January 11, 2010
I have been e-mailing a new friend a lot lately and he has been making me think about life. I sent him an e-mail that I'm going to share with you. Keep in mind I was a bit pissed off at the time I wrote it. Also it was meant to be private but I have decided that if im sharing my life with you then I might as well share it all:

I was being a total bitch to my mom today. I guess its my way of making her feel bad instead of telling her im mad. Its going to sound stupid but ill tell you whats up. She is being lazy. Really really lazy. She stopped going to work (she runs a couple booths) so she isnt making the sales that she usually makes on top of what the employee's are making (which isnt much because they dont care) and the economy sucks so that isnt helping either. So she stopped going because she is bored of it. IM FUCKING BORED OF SCHOOL YOU DODNT SEE ME COMPLAINING EVERY 5 SECONDS! Thats not even that big of a deal. Its the fact that all she does is sit on her lazy ass all day and watch tv and then when i get home and ask for a home cooked meal she starts complaining about how I always ask her for food and she is sick of cooking and then I just end up going to subway or something.

This probably sounds like I have no respect for her and i shouldn't judge my mom but thats just it. I lost the respect for her. I cant see how a mother sits at home and does nothing because she is sick of working and then complains about how hard everything is. Fuck. She went on vacations left and right last year and I was stuck at home working my ass off during summer taking extra classes and I didnt say ONE word. Yes (NAME), I do see school as work. It doesnt bring in an income but it will one day and the fact that she is just lazy makes her seem like a bad mother to me.

I just dont get it. Get off your ass and go work. I dont give 2 shits how bored or sick of it you are. The sad part is that she would say the same thing to me if I was the one who was sick of school. Yah I guess that sounded childish and immature but fuck. Im 17 im aloud to sound that way sometimes right?
So analyze me. Am I right? Wrong? Disrespectful? Smart? Have at it.

Steven! Why Wont You Call Me???

on Sunday, January 10, 2010
Title: Its a song on Ke$ha's new album. Its stuck in my head. So no, im not waiting for a call from Steven but if he called I would definitely answer =p haha random much?

So I went to a party yesterday and I got home really late so thats why I didnt post anything. I tend to wait until the evening to post a blog just because its when i have nothing to worry about im just relaxing in bed. Anyway... It was for my friends birthday. He turned 18 and he had a white trash party. Except he is a good kid so no drinking or anything of that sort. We kind of just sat around and talked and played games. It was interesting. After that me and two of my friends went over to the lesbian's house and we just hung out for a while. It was fun and then I got tired and left.

Today I went out and got myself a little gift for my Canon 7D =p It's a shotgun mic! Perfect for my short film. I'll write up a post soon about how it's going. I keep forgetting to update you guys on it. Then I went outside and took a couple shots. Fun stuff. I think ill post some of them on here soon.

I think im going to stay away from any seriousness on the blog today. Just to lighten the mood a bit lol I think im going to the LGBT center next weekend with the lesbian. I'll let you guys know how that goes. I dont know if I should mention this blog. For now lets keep it our little secret. =p

Finals start tuesday and I havent started to study. Oh well... I'll wing it. Jk =p

Asking Out A Guy & Death Penalty For Being A Homo!?!?

on Friday, January 8, 2010
I actually DECIDED to stay in today. I know (GASP!). I had plans to go to a movie with an old friend of mine because it was her birthday and she turned 18 but I told her that I'll make it up to her and we will go see Chippendales when I turn 18 next month!

Also im making a move next week. I'm going to ask this kid out on a date. We dont really talk much but he thinks im hot and he seems like a cool kid and im sure he will say yes so we will see what happens. Its just a date. If I dont end up liking him then no harm done. Last time I heard he was only "bi-curious" which is bull. He is gay. I think he might have come out as bi to a few people but thats threw word of mouth and its not confirmed. So i'll take it for what it's worth.

Also in government we have currents events and something really pissed me off today. One of them was about Uruguay or some country that starts with a U that wants to come out with a law that gives you the death penalty if you are gay!! The U.N. was like "that goes against human rights!!" so they go "ok. fine. we will change it to life in prison! much better!!" WTF!?! are you kidding me. One kid in my class even threw out the statement: "how is this going against human rights?" EXCUSS ME? I almost flipped at him but the class decided to bombard the room with comments like "thats fucked up" and "i cant believe they would do that" and the kid kind of shut up because he noticed he was the odd one out. How the hell can this even happen? This is like the salem witch trials. Its just plain bull shit!

Well that was my rant of the day. I'll talk to you guys latter. Remember feel free to shoot me an e-mail anytime you want. I love talking to you guys!!

Cool Attractive Title To Get You To Read This: SEX!

on Thursday, January 7, 2010
Idk this is going to be a pretty random post so hold on tight lol "Thats what she said!"

I have decided that im setting myself a new goal in life. That goal is not to want and expect things as much as I do. For example: I want a boyfriend. Im expecting for one to just suddenly walk into my english class, sit behind me, and pass me a note saying "hey... lets fuck." That is not likely to happen, hence the goal.

Here is another example: My friday night tomorrow is filled with nothingness. Im expecting someone to call me and let me know about the party. That person probably wont and I will be stuck at home writing a blog post. Thats because my friends are working, on dates, or just already have stupid plans to study for finals next week. Yah... my friends are that lame sometimes.

So recap? I'm going to go out tomorrow night with someone new. Have fun and put myself out as a single gay teen who is willing and looking for a relationship that isnt based on sex and only sex. Does that explain the title now? K. Good. =p

My day was boring. I didn't do much but school and homework. This week has just been boring because we have finals next week and all the teachers are reviewing and not doing anything productive. I'm ready for new friendships and to have a good time. Aka college. HURRY UP GRADUATION! haha

You Have A Big Dick... Thats Why I Looked!

on Wednesday, January 6, 2010
It's and owl city song. Owl City always makes me feel better about life in general.

Anyway... you know how people talk in high school. One person says something and then another and then you hear about it. Its just a big huge circle of broken secrets. Anyway there is this guy that, in my opinion, is a 7. He isnt HOT or cute he is just ok but something about him makes him above average in the looks department. He dated the "school slut" that was in our click a year ago and she happened to be drunk and telling everyone how big of a dick he had.

Which is crazy because I would never have imagined him to have a big dick. Well what does that matter right? I dont know why it does but ever time I see him I think about how he has a big dick and that makes him more attractive everyday. I keep sneaking looks here and there and its kinda getting obvious. He is straight (story of my life) and has a girlfriend. If he was single I would have made then whole "its not gay to get a blowjob" excuse and hookup with him like the jock i spoke about. It's amazing what straight horny guys will do to get off these days lol Then again it would be pretty awkward seeing him around and I see him around a lot.

Also im getting sick of labels. Im sick of the whole "theater kids" and "gay" kind of labels. Its starting to really piss me off. Yah sure im gay but I dont need to dress in drag and have a lisp. Im not a theater kid either. Just because I run the sound and know how to build a set does not make it ok to call me a theater kid. Im so sick of that. We are all different and all these labels are doing are enforcing stereotypes.

On that note. I want summer to come already. =p

Senioritis, Karma, & Survey Sunday Results!!

on Monday, January 4, 2010
congrats to him and his hotness. number three was a close second. Number three is actually gay but I dont know about the other two. If you have an idea for a theme for next week leave a comment on this post!

I am sad to say that Im developing a mild case of it senioritis. Its quit sad actually but I'll get over it soon. So today was the first day back from brake and I didnt want to be at school at all. They da went by slow. I flew threw my classes and didnt do much work and then came home an my body attempted to fall asleep but my mind knew otherwise and wouldn't let it.

So what else happened today? Well... lots of stupid friend drama. I would explain further but its probably boring to you guys. So remember that guy that I really liked and then all of a sudden he forgot about me and had a boyfriend a week later? Well I think they broke up... Yah. Karma. Suck on that one bitch. haha =p

Survey Sunday: Dailybooth Edition!

on Sunday, January 3, 2010
If you dont know about dailybooth its a site where you post pictures ever day of yourself. People can follow and you can follow them like twitter. I found some cute guys on there so its up to you to pick a winner!




Leave a comment and let me know your answer!
I'll let you know my pick tomorrow as well as the results.

Im Going To Explode!!

on Saturday, January 2, 2010
Im so full!! I just went to this really nice restaurant with my family where they serve you like they do in brazil. If you dont know what that means let me explain: they bring meats to you NONSTOP! Literally nonstop. They have servers coming around with like 20 different meats and they just keep putting more and more and more. It was so good though. I ate so much.

Other then that I didnt do much today. Just sat home and watched TV. My cousin and friend (the one with the stupid secret that was a lie) are coming over soon. They were also at the dinner. We are going to just chill at my house for a while.

I added an icon to my blogger profile. Its about time I know... I just couldn't think of anyone I liked and then I just cropped a picture I took of myself a couple months ago and put it up. I also added reactions! So dont forget to check the reactions you had to this post! lol

Im going to a gay bar soon. Maybe this friday or next. My friend knows of one that doesnt card on fridays and well... im hot enough to get in lol (that was sarcasm people! Im not that conceded haha) Im trying to put myself out there as a gay guy because lord knows there are NONE at my school that are boyfriend material and thats basically where I have been looking.

Also... I tend not to talk about my sexual urges on this blog but lets just try it out lol I've been really horny lately. As you know I stopped hooking up and I want to just wait till I find a boyfriend. So yah... i have been really really horny. I guess that comes with being a teenage boy right?

Tomorrow will be another Survey Sunday so check back for that. Sorry this post sucked. Like I said I didn't do much today but eat & watch TV.

Fucking Boys On New Years?

on Friday, January 1, 2010
No I didnt but there is always next year. My mom is starting to make jokes and stuff about me being gay. Which is nice because this shows how she is finally starting to somewhat start to except me. It made me feel happy. =p

New years was crazy! I had a party at my house but it was small and with friends I actually wanted to have around lol We got super drunk and had an amazing time. We played beer pong and, like always, I won! =p Fun times! This morning we went to IHOP and got food and then we all went home to get some rest because we were up all night.

I went bowling with my cousin and her friend that has the secret... WHICH I FOUND OUT! So no he is not gay. Well... thats not what he told me. He still might be gay but he just didnt have the balls to tell me that. I'll tell you guys what he said because a) it was stupid and b) you are my friends and i love you all =p and I just want to tell you haha. So what was it??? Allegedly he hooked up with me and my cousins relative who is our age. Here let me break it down:

My cousin went on a trip where she meet this guy. Our relative (my dads, cousins, daughter) also happened to be on the same trip and they three became really good friends. I already knew the relative and I got to know her friend because he comes to visit every so often. The relative has a boyfriend so the secret that he hooked up with her means she was cheating on her long time boyfriend. WHICH IS TOTAL BULL SHIT. I dont know her that well but I do know that the relative would never cheat on anyone. She is the sweetest cutest girl in the world.

The fact that he made me promise not to mention this and how long it took him to finally tell me what was going on and how irrelevant this was to the situation makes me come to the conclusion that he really didnt have anything to say and wanted to make himself look cool. He is only 15 and I see this as part of his immaturity. Another theory is that he is gay and he wants to cover it up because he changed his mind on telling me.

So his secret is a total scam and thats why I ended up posting it on here... If he is gay and reads this then buddy you fucked yourself over with this one. Why would you make up a lie about one of your good friends throwing them under the bus for something they never really did.

Sorry if I havent replied to your emails or comments. I've been pretty busy but I'll get to them right after I post this... =p