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First Day In Israel!

on Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Well I'm currently in my room downstairs in the basement so the wifi isn't available. That means im typing this in a document and I'll paste it into blogger latter.

There isn't much to say really. I had monday morning and landed in Israel tuesday morning. It was a total of 17 hours of flying. The flight wasn't to bad. I stayed up the night before with my cousin. We went to see Grown Ups (which is an amazing movie by the way) and then we just hung out till 4am when we headed to the airport. The flight was in two parts. From vegas to newark (NJ) and then from newark to Tel Aviv (Israel). The first flight I was so tired but I was forcing myself to stay up so I could sleep on the longer flight. So I used up my iPhone's battery playing games and listing to music. The second flight was so long. I was half asleep between the first 4 hours of the flight and then I couldn't sleep for the rest of the flight. I ended up watching shutter island and it was so good. Other then that the flight was pretty smooth.

I landed here and my mom and my aunt picked me up. We headed to get some food and a few other stuff she needed to get done. Then we headed to her house. Its gorgeous. One of the nicest houses I have seen. It's big and modern and has a cute spacious back yard. Anyways… I took a shower and then my uncle came over to pick up this mic that he bought and was shipped to our house in LV (I brought it in my suit case). Then my uncle, cousin, my mom, and I all went on a little walk to the cafe and I had a coffee. It was nice.

Right now its Wednesday morning. The time at home in las vegas is tuesday night. I have somewhat of an idea of how the day is going but not for sure. I'll let you guys know. Tomorrow night I'm going out with my cousin (thats 20 and goes to college here but lived with me in vegas and grew up with me). We are going to this birthday party and then we are going out to a club. She also said something about taking me to a gay club in Tel Aviv but I don't think she has time really. She has finals going on right now.

Well… I'm waiting for the guy to fix the water because it has a leak and they turned it off. I really want to take a shower. It REALLY humid here as a posed to vegas where its complete dry. So showers are really a blessing haha

K. Well I'm going to go and see whats up with the water guy. I'll talk to you all later! BYE! =p

Got My Laptop Fixed.

on Saturday, June 26, 2010
Shout out to the AMAZING apple "genius" who worked some special moves on my mac last night and fixed my laptop.

So other then thinking way to much I haven't done much with my life. I guess thats what summer is for right? Doing nothing. I really needed this break. Vacation time is my time and I love it. Remember how I said I was going to Israel soon? Yah well soon got sooner.

My flight is on the 28th at 6:40am. Its a 17 hour flight total with a stop in NJ. The stop is only an hour and a half so its not that bad. Basically just get my luggage and move it to the next flight and maybe grab a coffee then head onto the flight. I will be there for around 2 weeks.

I wen't shopping the other day. I got a bunch of shorts, shirts, and shoes. I still need to go get some socks and boxers still because I'm running short lol I'm hopping that Israel doesn't turn out the way i'm expecting it to. You know... boring. If anything I'm just going to go to the beach and do nothing all day then just go out alone to a club or something. Idk. We will see.

I keep thinking about the people I went on the trip with. Do they even slightly regret what they did? Do they even think about it? Are they mad at me? There are times when I just want to go "fuck you you ignorant piece of shits I thought were my friends" to their faces. I don't really care much for being friends with them. It's kind of just like a bad breakup except with 3 people rather then one. You have all these memories, inside jokes, songs you sang together, all these firsts that you experienced together, some of the best moments of your life that happened with them and then all of a sudden they are completely gone. Forever. Not even a good bye.

I gained like 6 pounds so far this summer. I think I have picked up this trait where im eating my feelings lol I need to start working out again. I have just been in this shitty mood because of this whole thing. Some nights are really awesome and some are really shitty.

I could call other people and talk to them and hang out with them but I just don't want to. I don't trust people. I'm just not at the point where I can talk to a person without feeling like everything I say to them needs to have a filter to it. Well... other then you guys.

Well... thats about it. I'm going to go now. I'll blog while I'm in Israel for sure so I'm not going to be gone for long. Alright. I'll talk to you guys soon. Bye.

Fuck This Life.

on Sunday, June 20, 2010
I want out.
John. You can't just leave everything for nothing.

I want to just leave and live in LA.
You have no place to stay and $1,000 to your name.

You are so far behind fucked. You haven't done shit with you life. Just run.
You can't run. You have a plan just stick to it.

I don't want the plan. Fuck business school. Fuck community college.
Its a plan and its only 2 years till you transfer out. Then your life will start a new.

Fuck that. It's two years in a hell whole. With shit heads that arn't worth shit. Like Shelby. Not to mention she is actually going there. Oh and Taylor is as well.
It's just an education. Get a degree and move on. You don't need to talk to anyone. Just go and leave.

Fuck that. While my friends are partying it up with frats and shit in a dorm out of town.
Thats your fault. You are the one with the not so great GPA and 1400 on your SAT.

Yah, I know. I'm lazy and suck at doing shit work that is a waist of my life. I'm smarter then 90% of the fucking shit heads that I graduated next to and I can say that with absolute certainty.
It's over now. Just get threw the next two years.

I DONT WANT TO SUFFER ANOTHER 2 YEARS. I WANT OUT. I want to live in LA. With a medical marijuana card. I'll fucking figure it out when I get there.
You can't just "figure it out!" That shit doesn't work. Plus. You will have your name on some fucking database. Then its going to come back and hunt you when your 30 and want to do something with your life.

I have been watching weeds all day. I'm going to LA tomorrow to drop my brother at his 2 week camp shit. Then im leaving for Israel. Yup secrets out. My parent's were born in Israel. That's where my moms been at. Im going there for 2 weeks because I have nothing but shit to do here. I literally have been using netflix for then I have been social. I think I might have forgotten how to speak. I'm ready to dip out.

Israel isn't going to be a vacation. Im staying at my aunts house. The house where her husband just died. Where she cries every night because she is still dealing with it. I don't really give to shits right now about going to clubs and drinking (cause I can there) and shit.

I just want a person that I can talk to. That isn't just over the internet. Like a person I can hug or kiss or fuck. But that shit is going to happen. You know why? because no fucking guy has ever likes me. Plus its not like I have that many options right now. I don't know where to find any more gay guys in this city. Fuck. It's not like I hang out in the gay crowd. I don't know how the fuck im going to find a normal guy while im sitting watching fucking netflix.

I'm so done with living every day doing absolutely nothing with my life. I don't like my life right now. I hate it.

I know my life a month ago was fake as shit. Yah... but at least my fake life had me fake happy. Now im miserable as shit.

sorry. just had to vent for a min there. you guys are all i really have left.

My Trip Summary: Day 4-5

on Thursday, June 17, 2010
Seriously. You must read parts 1-3 before you read this post. Just a friendly reminder. Also the reason that this is 4 threw 5 is because I kind of dont have a place to stop. It all just keeps going on into the next day. You will understand soon enough lol

Well well well. Last full day in LA. We woke up and drove down to the Kodak Theater hollywood spot where we also got a croissant to eat. We walked around and took pics of the stars and hand prints. All that fun tourist stuff. Then we headed to Universal Studios day 2. The ticket was a buy one get the second day free so yah lol thats why we went again.

We go in and we watch all the shows and stuff. We basically get done with everything really quick and start going on rides over and over again lol The thing is there was one thing that bugged me. No, not bugged me, it disgusted me. They were playing a "game" with each other. This game was who could steal the most stuff. Yes, I'm serious. Did your stomach just cringe? Mine did. That is so low. Like your stealing stuff left and right and then giving it to people as gifts? Shelby: "Don't tell Kenya I stole this for her." or Taylor: "This is for my cousin." really?!? They knew that I didn't like it when they stole stuff because they would throw out comments like John doesnt approve or John doesnt like us doing this. I only responded with "It's something I wouldn't do." I was being as smart as I could be. Every store then went into I left. There was no way in hell I was going to get in trouble for that shit and have to explain why I was arrested on my next application for work. Hell no.

So other then that it didn't really bug me. Other things that I learned later on, bugged them. Like how I spend my money. I guess because I have worked and I have a family that doesn't have to worry about money so much it influenced them in some way. Shelby and Taylor both come from a lower class family, Danika not so much, but she still lives a little tighter then I do and I guess it always easier to go with the people that are down then to fight with the one's that are up. So when they see me with my parents willing to spend $600 on a hotel room last min or me getting a brand new car at 16 when they didn't it kind of like affects them somehow. They saw how I didn' have trouble spending my money at the park. Whether it was ice cream or popcorn or a sweater or a bigger dinner with a nicer tip or the parking or buying them Universal Studios tickets. They say how "easy" it was for me to just pull out a $20 bill and just buy things. I want to mention that I did WORK for all the money I spent on the trip. Remember all those websites and catalogues and graphic work I did?!? Yah. I worked HARD for my money.

So after about a good 4 hours at the park we wanted to go. I was REALLY tired from driving or whatever but I was tired. They wanted to go to the beach which is about 2 hours drive away and I really didn't want to drive. So we just headed to the hotel room. We got there and I really needed to go to the bathroom (number 2) so I rushed in. While I was in there a number of discussions where going on between them three. Lets outline a few:

1. My money and how I spend it. This makes me so mad. Like how the hell are you judging me for that? Why does it matter how much money I have? I get that you can see all the things I have and want them or whatever but it's not like im like: "LOOK I HAVE ALL THIS SHIT AND YOU DONT!! HAHAH!!" no. I don't do that. I just dont understand how you have been to my house you have been friends with me for YEARS and you are judging me for things like this. It doesn't make sense. It's fucked up. Who are you to be telling me how to spend my money when you blow it on shit that you dont need. Like Shelby spent so much money on things before our trip and only got money from her dad after I was like "Shelby get your shit together!" 2 days before the trip.

2. When we were leaving. I made up day 5 for one reason and one reason only: so I dont have to rush driving home tired or whatever. I wanted to wake up whenever, get a breakfast and then when ever I was ready and done eating I would leave. Shelby, Taylor, and Danika had a diff rent idea. Shelby was like lets leave at 6:30am blah blah blah. Umm. No. So I yelled out that we are not leaving early. Two seconds later it was an all out battle of 3 against one on how they wanted to get home before 12am. Umm... Thats leaving at 5am. NOT HAPPENING!! I'm going to be SOO tired and I'm not driving 5 hours on like half awake. No way. I told them we were not leaving before 9:30am and I'm not rushing what so ever. Finally they kind of let me win the argument and immediately started packing. Well... not Shelby, she passed out and did nothing because she was lazy.

3. I was out of the bathroom in the room talking to them half way threw that last argument. Now it was about how we shouldn't go out if we were leaving tomorrow morning. I really wanted to go out. It was like 5pm and it was my last night in LA. Not even till like 9pm just for a hour or two doing something other then sitting in that hotel room with those three packing and the TV blaring the LA Spelling Bee.

I left the room to go talk to my dad on the phone at that point. I was so frustrated. All three of them had officially declaimed a all out war against me. It was such a big reality check. Who the hell am I friends with? People who STEAL and judge me for what I eat and buy. That rather me risk my health so they can get what they want. That really don't care much about me. THESE ARE MY BEST FRIENDS?!? Stealing is like one of the worst things in my mind. Someone worked hard to get that item to be made and into that store so he could make a little bit of money on it and you just took a shit on him and his job. Thats fucked up. Not to mention the employee who is going to get a beating for it at her next review.

My dad told me I just needed to leave the room and go out. He said just go out with a few LA friends or your something but not with them three. So I called up an LA friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a good 2 years to go out for coffee. She said yes at 6:30pm and she lived right buy the hotel. Perfect. I go up to the room and they all three are WIDE awake yelling and laughing and I was like.... umm. I'm going out, waited 10 min and then left.

I had a nice talk with my friend. She was nice and we had a good talk about all the shit that was going on and how we are going to college and all that fun stuff. At 9pm I headed back to the hotel. I was expecting backlash on being back so late and having to rush a shower and go to bed. Nope. I got back and they were just starting to shower and still talking wide awake still. Alright. I waited till they were all done and took a shower. I HAD to talk to my mom so at 10:30pm I went out of the room and sat in my car and talked to her for a good 40 mins. Told her about all the stuff that that I wrote about above and she was just like: just go to bed and wake up and leave. Perfect mom. thanks for the amazing advice lol

So I go to the room. TV is super load and they are sitting in bed. Maybe this will be easier then I thought. Me: "Can you turn the TV off. I'm really tired and we need to wake up early." Click. Not a word. In literally less then 30 sec they all ran to the corner of the room (the corner where I WAS SLEEPING) and started whispering. Now please... when a person is trying to sleep, they can hear every word you whisper. Even if you are in a little circe.

Oh I was SOOOO frustrated. Like beyond describing. I wanted to punch them in the face. All three of them were being so fucking rude. I had to drive 5 hours in less then 10 hours and you should be making sure I get extra sleep not worrying about your little conversations. Fuck that. So I got up and with a pretty angry tone:

Me: "Are you kidding me? I have to wake up in less then 10 hours and drive home. I can't sleep with you three in a corner whispering and laughing eating potato chips and shit. Do me a favor and go to bed. I really don't care about how you want to talk right now. It's definitely time to go to bed."

I mean come one. Someone had to be the responsible one right? They get all pissed off and started getting there cell phones and room keys and left to room "so you can sleep," is what they said to me. Fine. Good. I called my mom because I was soooo angry and she calmed me down. She told me just go to bed you only need to see them in the morning and thats it. So I did.

Then at 3am in the morning they walk into the room and they say something that will forever be embedded into my brain. Something that I will never forget:

Danika: "We are leaving. Our ride is down stairs. Keys are on the table." (my keys. thanks for asking me if you can take them.)

Me: "Fine. Goodbye. Night."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!??!
Really?
I MEAN RALLY?!?!?
Oh I was so fucking mad and hurt. Who does that to a person? WHO?!? You don't leave a person in a different state, alone. Oh I was so fucking angry. I called my mom again. I wanted to punch a wall. How fucked up are you that you can do that to someone. Really?!? After an hour or so my mom got me to try to go to sleep. I couldn't though. As much and as hard as I tried I could no fall asleep. I was mad and pissed and sad and alone and hurt and happy and idk. It was like this mix of emotions that were consuming my brain and that ability to go to sleep. I finally fell asleep at 6am and woke up at 8:30am. I just wanted to get out of that room. It disgusted me. Every inch of it. Every towel. The other bed. Everything. I wanted out. I didn't even get dressed. I just put on a sweater and my shoes and checked out.

I drove to the gas station across the street. Got gas, water, a diet coke and snakes so I would have something to do on the drive home alone and left. I was so mad. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. I wanted to see my dad (my mom is still out of the state dealing with my uncle's death with my aunt). I wanted my clean nice bed. I wanted out of that city. I drove as fast as I could. I think I reached 108 mph at a point. I knew what I was doing was wrong and dangerous but for fuck sake I wanted to get home. I stopped twice. Once for coffee because I was so tired and once to pee. I got home in 4 hours instead of 5hrs and 30 min like my GPS said it would take.

There was no contact from my friends. Not to make sure I was home safe. Not to make sure I was ok. Nothing. I learned a few thing on that drive home when I was talking to my dad on the phone:

1) My parents asked me to get their parents numbers just in case and I had them write it down on a paper. It turns out Danika wrote her cell instead. Stupid right? What if she got lost? What if she got an allergic reaction and I needed to know something in a second and we needed to talk to her mom. Taylor did the same thing as well. Wrote her cell. So how did my dad find this out? Well my dad called Danikas "mom" at 3am and left her a message to know that they were driving home just to make sure she knew that I wasn't responsible for them and to make sure she knew what was going on. She didn't answer and he left a message and he never heard back. He was so worried about it all night. I felt so bad. Taylor answered and gave the phone to someone who pretended to be her mom and my dad just knew they were lying. He told me this in the morning. He just wanted to make sure they got home safe and no one was answering his calls anymore. Funny. He cared and they were still acting like idiots. They disgusted me. So much.

2) So it tunes out my dad heard a name on that fake phone call with Taylor's mom. It was Kenya. NOT a parent. Kenya was the one that drove to LA in the last second in the middle of the night. She also just got her license and already hit a stop sign and got 3 tickets. She drives 75 mph in a 30 mph zone and 120 mph in a 60 mph zone. Kenya was the one that drove at 11:30pm all the way to the hotel and left at 3am all the way back to vegas. Thats a good 8 hours of straight driving on NO sleep in 48 hours. How stupid could these people get? I was more disgusted by them if that was even possible.

3) They didn't care about me AT ALL. Not even a text to see if I got home safe since I was driving tired, alone, 5 and a half hours, to a different state back to Las Vegas for the first time ever. Wow. I never will forgive them for that.

I got home and my dad was really worried about them. So he drove to Danikas house to make sure she at least got home ok. No one answered the door and Danika kept ignoring his calls. I found their house number on her brothers facebook page. After the third call at 9pm her dad answered and it turnes out she did get home.

I got a text from Danika that night: "Just making sure you got home fine." I waited a few hours and sent: "Im fine."

That was my trip. I actually got a text late last night from Taylor (thats about 5 days later): "Hey John things ended in Cali kind of crappy but I'm still really happy we went and I really appreciated the tickets. I hope things can still be ok with us. I love you a lot." I still havn't responded to that text. She waited 5 days so I'm waiting at least three. I'm not going to say: "yay. i love you 2. were friends." I don't know if I can forgive them that fast for that. No way.

So how am I? Well i have learned a lot about life threw this all. I came threw it all and im alive. I don't have any best friends anymore. No one to talk to other then my mom and dad. Just me. I havn't gone out or done anything other then last night with my dad and his work friends. Yah.

I'll leave you with a quote from Christofer Drew song: "My whole life is not what it seems, it's not a fairy tale or a damn wet dream, its just a life."

thanks for caring. it means a lot!
-John.

My Trip Summary: Day 3

on Wednesday, June 16, 2010
This is part 3 of 5. If you havent read part one or two you should go read them... no really. Im serious. STOP HERE. If you read on you will have a completely different view of the situation. Ok? Read part 1 and 2? Lets continue...


Day three. Well I was a tad disgusted with the way shelby was acting but at the same time I didnt want to even bring it up. I wanted the rest of the trip to go smoothly and thats how I was planning it to turn out. I told myself that morning that those little comments wont get to me if I dont let them. So thats how I pushed forward.

We woke up early enough to go to Universal Studios Hollywood and eat some breakfast at City Walk. The morning was going well and I was feeling good about the day. Shelby decided she was going to sit shotgun. Thats the drivers seat for the people that didn't know. She had bought this really long lollipops that twirl to the top at Six Flags. She put it in between the cup holders and my coffee so it would stay up. Now I didnt really care but the problem was every time I went to change gears (well... drive, reverse, park, ect.) It would get on my hand it then I would have sticky, saliva candy all over my hand. So before we even left the parking lot I asked her kindly (it didnt even bother me that much, I just didnt want to get all sticky) to move it because it was in my way. Well because I was focusing on driving and had totally forgot about it, it turns out she didnt move it and my hand felt like a little kid had tried to stick a lollipop onto my hand 27 times. BUT WAIT. Thats not even how I noticed that she hadn't moved it! I only noticed that part until after. After what you ask? After I went to pick up my coffee and it falls over and she yells (yah. yells. while im driving the crazy streets of hollywood): "WTF JOHN?!?! THAT WAS HOLDING MY CANDY?" I had no idea it was still there. I didn't even look at my coffee before I went to pick it up because I just know where my cup holders are. It pissed me off but like I said I didn't want to ruin the trip so I said: "Well I asked you to move it like 20 min ago because it was in my way and I'm kind of driving." and then she really pissed me off: "Oh yah. Whatever John wants we have to do and god forbid I but something by him!!" really bitch? was that REALLY necessary. So I decided that this was going to far and we NEEDED to have a little discussion before this gets worse then it already had. So I go: "Shelby this isn't ok we need to talk." but shelby is WAY to immature for that move right? She goes ahead and stickers her earbuds in her ears and ignores me. Yah. I felt like I was in middle school all over again. So for the rest of the trip I shut up. No one said anything and the radio was off. The whole way.

We got to the parking and of course Shelby reminds me that I'm paying for it. Yah... cause I forgot that I was spending another $20 on your cheep ass. Thanks. I didnt say that though. Just said yes. I decided on the parking where you get to park right by the entrance in a garage for $3 more. Shelby goes on a tangent about how worth it is and that she would totally take that option (yes, that is important for part 4). We park and we get ready to go in for breakfast. We all decided on this amazing crepes place in City Walk right by the entrance to Universal Studios. I wanted another coffee and there was a coffee bean right next door so I went with taylor. I talked to her about the whole stupid lollipop thing and she agreed with me that it was out of hand and "unnecessary." At that point I was just read to rip her ticket in front of her face and be like if you want to come with us go buy your own ticket I rather throw away $60 then give it to your disrespectful ass. I told that to Taylor also. She reacted like I didnt say it though. We go back to finish our crepes and then we head to go into the park.

Im super excited and I handed them their tickets. We get in line to the entrance and I'm really excited. I'm taking both Shelby and Taylor to a theme park they have never been to before. This is a big deal for them and I'm really excited that I could do that for my friends. So we are in line right... and I politely ask Shelby if she "wouldnt mind putting my ticket in your purse once we get inside so I won't loose it or get it wet or something. If not thats ok." Yah... I guess that was a mistake. (P.s. the tickets were a full sheet of printer paper and thats why I asked in the first place)

Shelby: "What? why can't you just put it in your pocket? Your not going to get that wet like you said? Why?"

Me: "It would just be more comfortable for me if you had it in your purse but if you dont want to just tell me thats ok..." (getting cut off)

Shelby: "Agh why do you ahve to be such a douche bag all the time."

OHHHH. HELL no. Does she not realize that we are talking about the same piece of paper that I gifted her? The one that cost me $6o? HOW AM I A DOUCHE BAG FOR GIVING YOU AN EXPENSIVE GIFT?!?! it went on...

Me: "Really Shelby!?! Im so over this!!"

Shelby: "Your over this. I was done with you three weeks? I didn't want to come with you on this trip. You guys made me. I was done with you three weeks ago."

Me: "Your the one thats being an asshole to me and..." (getting cut off).

Shelby:"Because you annoy the hell out of me John."

a few seconds of pause because I wanted to calm myself down but I couldn't...

Me:"Im so close to just taking that ticket away because you..." (cutoff)

Shelby: "Then take it. Just take it."

Me:"Alright. FINE."

I took it from her. Now I know that this was the wrong thing to do but I was MAD. I had like 25% control and the rest was pure anger that was fulling me. We stood there in line not saying a thing. Then right before it was our turn...

Danika: "John just giver her the ticket back."

Me: " No. If she wants to go with us then she can go buy her ticket RIGHT OVER there."

Danika: "You know she wont pay for a ticket and you know that she is just going to rome around by herself. We cant just leave her."

By this time Shelby was gone. I don't know when she left or where when went but by this time she was no longer in the line with us.

Me: "Do you not understand me? I rather throw away my money then give it to her. If she is done with me then I'm done with her and when I'm done with someone I don't stick around for 3 weeks just because they give me free shit. There is no way in hell she is getting this ticket that I paid for from me."

Danika: "Then take my ticket cause if she isn't going neither am I."

Taylor: "Uhh I still want to go." (yah that was actually heard in between the whole fighting thing lol)

She gave me her ticket and we went away from the line. Danika was oh so worried about Shelby and was REALLY pissed off at me. She started yelling at me for not being mature and acting like an adult and "ruining her trip." I definitely defended myself and half way threw she started noticing that I was in the right and that she crossed WAY over the line this whole trip BUT IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS BLINDED. No matter what she was the perfect angel and I was the devil that ruined it all. Like no matter what she did I she was the victim.

There was more conversation and I could quote it all but this post is way to long and not even 1/3 over yet. So while Danika was trying to find Shelby (calling her and looking around) she was attacking me and then asked Taylor what she taught. Taylor started to talk and she was the only one that understood me at that moment. She said she still wants to in and that shelby was... thats all she got out because Shelby answered her phone and Danika was not listing. It seriously seemed like Danika was in love with her or something.

In those 2 seconds of her being on the phone and guiding her over to where we were I had a second to control myself and when she got over to us I said alright lets all sit and talk but again Shelby didnt want to talk to me and then she yelled some more at me and then Danika basicly was in the middle of us YELLING at me and then I set her straight and was like lookie here buddy she was being a fucking asshole to me I can't just sit back and take it. So she goes to shelby and was like you both need to calm down but not in a "shelby you where wrong" sort of way. Shelby was still the victim. Shelby started yelling at me and then I just BLEW UP. It all rushed to my head and I couldn't be around her anymore: "NO. NO. NO. YOU DONT WAN'T TO TALK TO ME THEN WERE NOT TALKIN."

I went to my car. I cried hard. I never cry this hard. I didn't cry this hard when my uncle died. She hurt me. She pushed me away. All I ever did was try so hard to be a good friend. I put so much into our friendship. I cared for her in the middle of the night when she had no place to stay. I drove her home when she was drunk at some party. I bought her things because it made me happy to see her happy but not Shelby. She hurt me because she loved seeing me hurt. She was rude and disrespectful and she HURT me. I was so done. Like guys you know me. Am I really that bad of a person?!? Have I ever talked shit about someone in this blog? No. I loved shelby. I cared about her life and her future. I even wrote a whole post about it. I didn't sleep at night worrying about her at times. This is what I get? I get "you annoy me" and "I'm done with you" and "why are you such a douce bag?" Well I'm done with you Shelby and when I'm done with someone I'm DONE with them.

Taylor came to the car and talked to me. I was balling tears. She agreed with me but she didn't say much. I literally let my heart out to the girl. After a good 5 min of crying to Taylor I calmed down and she asked me a good question: "So what are you going to do?" I though so hard about it. I didn't want her in my car. I didn't want her in the hotel room I paid for and I didn't want to see her face let alone talk to her. When I'm done then im done. Just like im done with high school. I'm never going to see or go back there. I'm done with her. I needed to calm down and Taylor knew this and she calmed me down and then again she asked me: "So what are you going to do?" I though long and hard. She reminded me how im responsible to get her home. How I brought her here and how I needed to make sure I get her home. So as much as I wanted to leave her for the dogs at that point I didnt.

I went back with a plan. I will drive her to the bus stop. I will make sure she has a ticket and I will make sure that someone picks her up. Then I'm done.

Danika flipped again: "That's what you came up with? She was ready to apologize. All you had to do was say sorry and talk to her."

Me: "Me say sorry to her? A million apologies would ever make me even thing abut forgiving her."

Danika threw a fit about wanting to go home is she goes home and how we are driving home right now and that I ruined her trip and she refused to talk with me. I told her we are not leaving because I have a paid hotel room and I'm not driving home. At this point everyone was just acting stupid (other then Taylor). I wasn't talking to Shelby and Danika ran off to where the car was. I went and called my dad and Taylor and Shelby went and talked to Danika.

My dad basically is like one of the most important people in my life right now. He helped me out so much with advice. He told me just to forget about her one more day and cut the trip short and come home. I really didn't want to but I knew that the other girls would never even think about letting me leave her by herself. So I thought about it and came to the conclusion that he was right and I was REALLY wrong. I was responsible for taking her home.

I went over to them and I talked to them. Well mostly to Shelby. I told her about how much she hurt me and I started to cry again. She said she knew we weren't going to be friends after the trip because we fight all the time. So to summarize what happened in the rest of the conversation was we agreed to just go in and not talk to each other. Yay we are all good? (not really but enough to get threw the day). Danika isn't she wont talk to me and is being all pissy. We go in and I do end up apologizing to Shelby just because I didn't wan to ruin the day. She said she forgives me (It was all a show). I ask Danika if we can be civil and how im sorry and how I didn't mean to ruin her trip and she shoots back at me "Oh I can be civil because I'm an adult!" umm... yah. that was very "adult" of you ignoring me back there lol (i didn't say that).

So we go into the park. Danika starts planning the day out. She starts talking and she is slowly getting over it all. Shelby and Taylor start asking me questions and stuff. Eventually we get to the point where we are ok with each other. The day passes without another "fight" with Shelby. AMAZING. The rest of the day was the only time I really enjoyed my trip. We rode a bunch of rides and then we headed out. We really wanted to do something because it was only 5pm (the park closes at 6pm). So my GPS points me to the Hollywood sign. Alright lets go! My GPS takes me on the rout that is like a back alley way. We can't stop anywhere and its all homes up on the HUGE hills. We get to this huge gate that we cant get threw and we get out to take pictures. There were signs every where: "NO PARKING!" and "SECURITY ALARM ACTIVE" so we rushed back to the car adn dove back down the narrow steep street. Almost hitting cars and trash cans (I actually hit a trash can but lets pretend that didn't happen."

Then we get down and we are like super hyped with this secret mission type thing we just did lol It was awesome. So we were like alright. Lets go to the walk of fame. It was getting late and if you didn't know... its not the nicest place to be at night. lol So we get there and we start walking and Shelby was like... "Umm this isn't what I meant. I meant like the Kodak theater and stuff." so me and Danika where like ok. miscommunication. Shelby REALLY wanting to pick a fight kind of starts one with Danika and Taylor. I stay out of it. I learned my lesson. I was wrong and she was right. We get back and Shelby is throwing a fit about having to pay for the $3.75 parking (yes, they payed me to the penny each time). I didn't say a word and we drove to the hotel.

That wasn't the end of the night though. We still wanted to go out for the night. So I called up a few LA friends of mine and they pointed us to this new really nice Hookah Lounge that was like 6 min away from our hotel. We go there and we have a bowl or two and talk. While we are there we get a phone call from our other friends that they want to do something spontaneous and adventurous (at 9pm) so they are driving to LA. Where to they don't know. They have no place to stay or things to do here. So they drove here. (just so you know there names where Kenya and Natalie and they got to LA safe and stayed the night a venice beach and slept in their car then woke up and drive home. p.s. venice is one of the scariest places to be at night. crazy druggies everywhere). All my friends where like wtf? thats crazy. I can't believe you would do that. (this is important for part 4).

So we are tired and then leave to the hotel. Other then that huge fight and me and Shelby never being friends again after the trip it was still a good fun day. But WAIT!! Part 4 is even worse then this...

My Trip Summary: Day 2

on Monday, June 14, 2010
I want to make sure that you guys understand that this trip already happened last week. So thanks for all the advice on what to do and how to handle it but it already happened so there is not much I can do as of now other then tell the story. Again, this is part 2 of 5. Enjoy:

We woke up early because we were going to go to Six Flags that day. We wanted to eat breakfast before we left that way we wont be hungry at the park or anything and have to eat and throw up haha. Anyway there happened to be a Denny's right there so we went and got some breakfast. If you care here is what I got to eat: http://twitpic.com/1vb0an

We headed to Six Flags. I started the day out with Shelby nagging me left and right once more. When I saw 12 school busses full of little children I went "Oh fuck. There is so many people here!" Shelby had to comment: "Why are you being so negative. Just because there are a few busses doesn't mean the park will be packed." Umm... actually Shelby thats exactly what it means but no, I didnt say that to her because I was stopped by my friends saying: "John. Just stop fighting." How am I fighting if she is the one being a rude bitch?!?!

That didnt stop there. It definitely continued threw out the day. Whether I was being called negative for saying a ride sucked or maybe I was being controlling because I planned the next couple rides out OR my favorite calling every guy gay because I pointed out that they were cute, I was doing something horribly wrong. Those were 3 of the amazingly abundant things that we were "fighting" about. I wouldn't call it fighting but my friends definitely got on my case and called it that, "Can we all just get along and be friends?" In my head I really wanted to say fuck no she is being a douche bag but in reality I didnt want to ruin the trip so once more I stfu.

We went on all the ride's we wanted to go on and more and at least one per line another one of her comments were thrown out at me. At around 5:30pm we were hungry and soaking wet thanks to the lovely rapid's ride they have at Six Flags. We changed plans and instead of heading straight to eat we had to go to the hotel room and change. I literally drove home with just my wet boxers and a shirt on because my jeans were so soaked.

Once we got to the hotel and changed we headed to city walk to grab some food and do a little walking around. We went to stores and stuff and we got matching customized bracelets that say: "Cali 2010" Cute right? Yah... We went and got a table at the Hard Rock Cafe and ate dinner. It was soooo good but it was getting late and really cold so we headed home right after we ate.

We got in the car and left the parking lot when... "WAIT! I LOST MY PHONE! STOP THE CAR!!" Yup. The oh so responsible Shelby lost her phone. She ran back to the restaurant and Danika ran over to the valet to see if she left it there. Both come back empty handed. Taylor turned around and its sitting on the backseat of my car. It was ok though because it gave me a min or two to talk to Taylor about how much Shelby was annoying the fuck out of me and I really did need to vent.

Then we headed back to the hotel. I dont remember exactly what conversations were said that night but im pretty sure there were some more comments from Shelby. It was really playing a toll on me. I mean how much can one person take in before exploding? Hoping everything would be fine I went to bed that night knowing that it wouldn't. Shelby was seeing that she could keep pushing me and keep getting away with it and that was just causing her to get worse and worse. If I didn't have my mom to talk to over the phone every night I think I might have went crazy by then.

That was part 2 of 5. Lets say that this was just the rising action and the climax is in part three. Done worry though because the falling action is also in part 3 leaving some more rising action and another climax in part 4. Yah... it gets bad.


My Trip Summary: Day 1

on Saturday, June 12, 2010
I can make this 30 pages long or I could make it 5. Im going to be posting it in 5 parts. Day 1-5. So check back tomorrow for the rest of the story. First I want to say thank you to the kind people out there that read and comment my blog. Right now I dont really have anyone I can talk to other then my family about anything and the fact that there are people out there that care enough to read and come back means SOOO much. So thank you.

A trip that four best friends planned. It was Shelby, Taylor, Danika, and I. Originally planned was to go to six flags and that it. We were going to stay my my grandma's house for two nights just so I didnt have to drive at night. We latter decided that we should stay for a longer period of time and I got them four tickets to Universal Studios. I can't say that they were extremely thankful but they were excited to go. Which made me excited. So here was the plan: 5 days, 4 nights at grandma's: first day drive there and head to venice beach and 3rd street. second day six flags, third and fourth at universal, and 5th driving home.

The night before was graduation. My grandma called my aunt to let her know that she had to go out of the country last min and was leaving Wednesday (day 2 of the trip: six flags). After a bunch of calls back and forth with her and my dad they came to the conclusion that her roommate who is a family friend was being a fucking asshole and didn't see "why he needs the mess" while my grandma is gone. So we had no wear to stay at night. My dad being the most amazing dad ever decides to get us a room at a best western inn. I hated the fact that my dad had to pay anything for the trip. It was planned all along that I would finance the whole thing for myself and they just needed to trust me. The room cost more then the trip itself. $600. It was crazy. It hurt that they didn't even say thank you to my dad the next morning when I told them the change in plans. I moved on. I wasn't going to let anything ruin the trip.

We drive there and we head to venice beach. I try to explain to them that Venice isnt really a swim at the beach with the nice sand type of place. It only angered Shelby because she wasn't having any of it. We got there and because it was a tuesday there was less clean people and more homeless and druggie people. They stayed away from the boardwalk but they still weren't to thrilled about the whole thing. We then drove down to 3rd street for dinner. Shelby threw a little fit about not wanting to spend money on food and wanted to go eat fast food. The rest of us wanted a place to sit down and eat something nice. So she threw a fit again once we choose to go to Johnny Rockets because she "didnt like burgers." Little fun fact: she wanted to get in n' out at barstow (half way to LA) but the line was way to long. She finally agreed to go and at least look at the menu and finally realized that she did like some stuff there. She butted heads with me more saying things like: "you though i wasnt going to like the food but i never said that." or "why do you always have to be right?" Stupid shit like that. I let it all slide because I didnt want to fight. Comments like "would you guys stop fighting!" were thorn out there but it wasnt like we were doing more then arguing.

After dinner we went and got fanny packs at American Apparel haha It was for six flags and universal because we cant take things on the ride. We got that and then left for the inn. We got there and we wanted to go swimming but shelby got sunburned and wanted me to drive to the gas station across the street to get aloe and sunscreen for the days to come. So we go and she didnt find aloe. We swim for a good hour or so and it gets late. I tell them I think we should head to bed because we have a long day the next day. Then shelby asks me to go on another drive to another gas station because her sunburn is "that bad." We go and they dont have any. The cashier tells her about the target a few street lights away and I drive her there in my flip flops, wet bathing suit, a shirt and a towel.

We finally get back to the room and we all take showers. We all talk a little and watch TV before heading to bed.

PICS I TOOK THAT DAY: http://twitpic.com/1v4ca7

This was part 1 out of 5 of my trip to LA. This is just the beginning and there is WAY more stuff that happened. Life changing stuff. So come back tomorrow for part 2.

Leaving for LA - Follow Me!

on Tuesday, June 8, 2010
since im going to be at cali im not going to blog as much so i decided to get a twitter for this blog: https://twitter.com/sinceyoutweet yay!!

if it goes well ill keep it going. if no one follows then... haha anyways. its 8 and we are leaving in an hour and I just got out of the shower... yes. im blogging naked. haha

alright well. gotta go. love you guys!

This Is My Favorite Candle.

on Friday, June 4, 2010
"This is the breakfast room where we eat breakfast. We eat breakfast. If its breakfast we are eating here. If its not breakfast were not eating here. If I want to eat breakfast im going to be eating here."

haha best youtube video ever. Every time I watch it I laugh. Plus it has some of my favorite youtubers in it which makes it even better. If you havent seen it or still have NO idea what im talking about go watch it after you read the rest of my post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyfvlYrP7Gs

I decided to take my car and go ahead and get a GPS. I did some research and im probably going to go with a Tom Tom. The iphone app that tom tom has is great and all but then i have to worry about battery and getting calls and stuff. Also AT&T isn't my favorite network to put my trust into. So having maps downloaded on the device is a plus.

The present went well. They all liked it and we are deciding to stay an extra day. I pulled out the itinerary (which really is just the times we need to leave the house and the place to avoid traffic) and they were like "oh wow. of course you planned it all out. BUT in my defense i really didnt. I dont want to have to much of a plan because then im not having as much fun. I really want to be able to go with the flow and do things on the fly. If things change its no big deal. Yah know? I just want to be safe and smart because its a big trip and im all on my own.

Today was fun. I went over to lesbian's house for her grad party. We had burgers and hung out in the pool. Pretty fun and productive day other then that. I finished the catalogue. Well we still need to label them with the item numbers but im waiting on the client for that information. So I have finished my part. Tomorrow I need to finish the web store. I was planning on heading to AAA and maybe going to Best Buy to check out some GPS stuff. Also I really need to get a haircut. I need to see if my hair person has anything available monday morning because i have graduation that day and then the next day im leaving for the trip. My hair really is way to long lol

Since its summer im going to start writing long blog posts after the trip and this project is out of the way. More stories and stuff. Im also thinking about getting a new theme. Idk if I want to because I kind of like the one I have even though its like a standard one. Well goodnight! I'll talk to you all tomorrow. =p


Trip. Graduation. Life.

on Thursday, June 3, 2010
Ok to tell you the truth I kind of just want to put my name out there. Im not trying to tease you or anything im just telling you guys that im starting to trust more and stuff and that is leading me to the idea of just showing you guys my real twitter, youtube, and dailybooth. lol The only problem I see is foursquare and my full name is everywhere. Which im thinking of just deleting. So idk what to do there but we will see.

Yesterday we had graduation rehearsal. It was the last time I have to step into that building that was my high school. Yay! I got my cap and gown and my card that I need to have for them to read my name. So thats that. Im done with high school kinda. Graduation is the 7th.

THEN the trip is the day after. Wait. Let me get back to that...

So after graduation rehearsal I went home and worked. That night I invited a few friends over and we went swimming at night. Fun times lol

Ok, back to the trip!! OMG im excited. I decided that im going to go ahead and get them the gift. Which is tickets to Universal Studios. I planned out the trip (i made an itinerary. yah. im OCD about planning haha) and made it so we can go without having to stay another day BUT since its a buy one day get the second free they have the option to stay another day so its whatever. I didnt buy the tickets yet and im not going to surprise them. I thought it would be a better decision to surprise them tomorrow at Lesbian's party with a fake ticket I made lol Then if they dont want to go or anything then I dont get fucked over with a $230 bill. lol

While I was making the trip itinerary today, which by the way has pictures and everything. yah. im the gay one. lol, my dad made a comment about how im getting from place to place and how I need a GPS and offered to let me take his Lexus which has the whole call in assistant navigation, iPod, sensors,back up camera, XM radio/weather, and traffic info. The only thing I see is that I'm not really comfortable with the car. I've had my car (Nissan Altima) for 2 years now and I am so comfortable with making sharp turns or having to maneuver in tight spaces. Stuff like that. Also I wouldnt want to like have to worry about his car the whole time. So I'm looking at just getting a 40$ full feature GPS app on my iPhone. It has traffic live, text to speech, and all that fun stuff so it would work pretty well. Idk. We will see. Also gas on his car is the expensive kind and money is a big factor with my friends chipping in.

Tomorrow is Lesbian's grad party. Like I said I made them like fake tickets to Universal and I put them in envelopes and stuff. So I'm excited to give it to them! Then the weekend. It's going to be torture lol I can not wait for that trip. SOO fucking excited. Oh yah.. graduation lol that too.

Blah Blah Blah. An old friend wants to go see Thunder Down Under with me. idk if we are going to go though. She is always flaky so whatever.

Umm. yah. thats about it. Heading back to work now. bye! =p