Well well well. Last full day in LA. We woke up and drove down to the Kodak Theater hollywood spot where we also got a croissant to eat. We walked around and took pics of the stars and hand prints. All that fun tourist stuff. Then we headed to Universal Studios day 2. The ticket was a buy one get the second day free so yah lol thats why we went again.
We go in and we watch all the shows and stuff. We basically get done with everything really quick and start going on rides over and over again lol The thing is there was one thing that bugged me. No, not bugged me, it disgusted me. They were playing a "game" with each other. This game was who could steal the most stuff. Yes, I'm serious. Did your stomach just cringe? Mine did. That is so low. Like your stealing stuff left and right and then giving it to people as gifts? Shelby: "Don't tell Kenya I stole this for her." or Taylor: "This is for my cousin." really?!? They knew that I didn't like it when they stole stuff because they would throw out comments like John doesnt approve or John doesnt like us doing this. I only responded with "It's something I wouldn't do." I was being as smart as I could be. Every store then went into I left. There was no way in hell I was going to get in trouble for that shit and have to explain why I was arrested on my next application for work. Hell no.
So other then that it didn't really bug me. Other things that I learned later on, bugged them. Like how I spend my money. I guess because I have worked and I have a family that doesn't have to worry about money so much it influenced them in some way. Shelby and Taylor both come from a lower class family, Danika not so much, but she still lives a little tighter then I do and I guess it always easier to go with the people that are down then to fight with the one's that are up. So when they see me with my parents willing to spend $600 on a hotel room last min or me getting a brand new car at 16 when they didn't it kind of like affects them somehow. They saw how I didn' have trouble spending my money at the park. Whether it was ice cream or popcorn or a sweater or a bigger dinner with a nicer tip or the parking or buying them Universal Studios tickets. They say how "easy" it was for me to just pull out a $20 bill and just buy things. I want to mention that I did WORK for all the money I spent on the trip. Remember all those websites and catalogues and graphic work I did?!? Yah. I worked HARD for my money.
So after about a good 4 hours at the park we wanted to go. I was REALLY tired from driving or whatever but I was tired. They wanted to go to the beach which is about 2 hours drive away and I really didn't want to drive. So we just headed to the hotel room. We got there and I really needed to go to the bathroom (number 2) so I rushed in. While I was in there a number of discussions where going on between them three. Lets outline a few:
1. My money and how I spend it. This makes me so mad. Like how the hell are you judging me for that? Why does it matter how much money I have? I get that you can see all the things I have and want them or whatever but it's not like im like: "LOOK I HAVE ALL THIS SHIT AND YOU DONT!! HAHAH!!" no. I don't do that. I just dont understand how you have been to my house you have been friends with me for YEARS and you are judging me for things like this. It doesn't make sense. It's fucked up. Who are you to be telling me how to spend my money when you blow it on shit that you dont need. Like Shelby spent so much money on things before our trip and only got money from her dad after I was like "Shelby get your shit together!" 2 days before the trip.
2. When we were leaving. I made up day 5 for one reason and one reason only: so I dont have to rush driving home tired or whatever. I wanted to wake up whenever, get a breakfast and then when ever I was ready and done eating I would leave. Shelby, Taylor, and Danika had a diff rent idea. Shelby was like lets leave at 6:30am blah blah blah. Umm. No. So I yelled out that we are not leaving early. Two seconds later it was an all out battle of 3 against one on how they wanted to get home before 12am. Umm... Thats leaving at 5am. NOT HAPPENING!! I'm going to be SOO tired and I'm not driving 5 hours on like half awake. No way. I told them we were not leaving before 9:30am and I'm not rushing what so ever. Finally they kind of let me win the argument and immediately started packing. Well... not Shelby, she passed out and did nothing because she was lazy.
3. I was out of the bathroom in the room talking to them half way threw that last argument. Now it was about how we shouldn't go out if we were leaving tomorrow morning. I really wanted to go out. It was like 5pm and it was my last night in LA. Not even till like 9pm just for a hour or two doing something other then sitting in that hotel room with those three packing and the TV blaring the LA Spelling Bee.
I left the room to go talk to my dad on the phone at that point. I was so frustrated. All three of them had officially declaimed a all out war against me. It was such a big reality check. Who the hell am I friends with? People who STEAL and judge me for what I eat and buy. That rather me risk my health so they can get what they want. That really don't care much about me. THESE ARE MY BEST FRIENDS?!? Stealing is like one of the worst things in my mind. Someone worked hard to get that item to be made and into that store so he could make a little bit of money on it and you just took a shit on him and his job. Thats fucked up. Not to mention the employee who is going to get a beating for it at her next review.
My dad told me I just needed to leave the room and go out. He said just go out with a few LA friends or your something but not with them three. So I called up an LA friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a good 2 years to go out for coffee. She said yes at 6:30pm and she lived right buy the hotel. Perfect. I go up to the room and they all three are WIDE awake yelling and laughing and I was like.... umm. I'm going out, waited 10 min and then left.
I had a nice talk with my friend. She was nice and we had a good talk about all the shit that was going on and how we are going to college and all that fun stuff. At 9pm I headed back to the hotel. I was expecting backlash on being back so late and having to rush a shower and go to bed. Nope. I got back and they were just starting to shower and still talking wide awake still. Alright. I waited till they were all done and took a shower. I HAD to talk to my mom so at 10:30pm I went out of the room and sat in my car and talked to her for a good 40 mins. Told her about all the stuff that that I wrote about above and she was just like: just go to bed and wake up and leave. Perfect mom. thanks for the amazing advice lol
So I go to the room. TV is super load and they are sitting in bed. Maybe this will be easier then I thought. Me: "Can you turn the TV off. I'm really tired and we need to wake up early." Click. Not a word. In literally less then 30 sec they all ran to the corner of the room (the corner where I WAS SLEEPING) and started whispering. Now please... when a person is trying to sleep, they can hear every word you whisper. Even if you are in a little circe.
Oh I was SOOOO frustrated. Like beyond describing. I wanted to punch them in the face. All three of them were being so fucking rude. I had to drive 5 hours in less then 10 hours and you should be making sure I get extra sleep not worrying about your little conversations. Fuck that. So I got up and with a pretty angry tone:
Me: "Are you kidding me? I have to wake up in less then 10 hours and drive home. I can't sleep with you three in a corner whispering and laughing eating potato chips and shit. Do me a favor and go to bed. I really don't care about how you want to talk right now. It's definitely time to go to bed."
I mean come one. Someone had to be the responsible one right? They get all pissed off and started getting there cell phones and room keys and left to room "so you can sleep," is what they said to me. Fine. Good. I called my mom because I was soooo angry and she calmed me down. She told me just go to bed you only need to see them in the morning and thats it. So I did.
Then at 3am in the morning they walk into the room and they say something that will forever be embedded into my brain. Something that I will never forget:
Danika: "We are leaving. Our ride is down stairs. Keys are on the table." (my keys. thanks for asking me if you can take them.)
Me: "Fine. Goodbye. Night."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!??!
Really?
I MEAN RALLY?!?!?
Oh I was so fucking mad and hurt. Who does that to a person? WHO?!? You don't leave a person in a different state, alone. Oh I was so fucking angry. I called my mom again. I wanted to punch a wall. How fucked up are you that you can do that to someone. Really?!? After an hour or so my mom got me to try to go to sleep. I couldn't though. As much and as hard as I tried I could no fall asleep. I was mad and pissed and sad and alone and hurt and happy and idk. It was like this mix of emotions that were consuming my brain and that ability to go to sleep. I finally fell asleep at 6am and woke up at 8:30am. I just wanted to get out of that room. It disgusted me. Every inch of it. Every towel. The other bed. Everything. I wanted out. I didn't even get dressed. I just put on a sweater and my shoes and checked out.
I drove to the gas station across the street. Got gas, water, a diet coke and snakes so I would have something to do on the drive home alone and left. I was so mad. I wanted to get home as soon as possible. I wanted to see my dad (my mom is still out of the state dealing with my uncle's death with my aunt). I wanted my clean nice bed. I wanted out of that city. I drove as fast as I could. I think I reached 108 mph at a point. I knew what I was doing was wrong and dangerous but for fuck sake I wanted to get home. I stopped twice. Once for coffee because I was so tired and once to pee. I got home in 4 hours instead of 5hrs and 30 min like my GPS said it would take.
There was no contact from my friends. Not to make sure I was home safe. Not to make sure I was ok. Nothing. I learned a few thing on that drive home when I was talking to my dad on the phone:
1) My parents asked me to get their parents numbers just in case and I had them write it down on a paper. It turns out Danika wrote her cell instead. Stupid right? What if she got lost? What if she got an allergic reaction and I needed to know something in a second and we needed to talk to her mom. Taylor did the same thing as well. Wrote her cell. So how did my dad find this out? Well my dad called Danikas "mom" at 3am and left her a message to know that they were driving home just to make sure she knew that I wasn't responsible for them and to make sure she knew what was going on. She didn't answer and he left a message and he never heard back. He was so worried about it all night. I felt so bad. Taylor answered and gave the phone to someone who pretended to be her mom and my dad just knew they were lying. He told me this in the morning. He just wanted to make sure they got home safe and no one was answering his calls anymore. Funny. He cared and they were still acting like idiots. They disgusted me. So much.
2) So it tunes out my dad heard a name on that fake phone call with Taylor's mom. It was Kenya. NOT a parent. Kenya was the one that drove to LA in the last second in the middle of the night. She also just got her license and already hit a stop sign and got 3 tickets. She drives 75 mph in a 30 mph zone and 120 mph in a 60 mph zone. Kenya was the one that drove at 11:30pm all the way to the hotel and left at 3am all the way back to vegas. Thats a good 8 hours of straight driving on NO sleep in 48 hours. How stupid could these people get? I was more disgusted by them if that was even possible.
3) They didn't care about me AT ALL. Not even a text to see if I got home safe since I was driving tired, alone, 5 and a half hours, to a different state back to Las Vegas for the first time ever. Wow. I never will forgive them for that.
I got home and my dad was really worried about them. So he drove to Danikas house to make sure she at least got home ok. No one answered the door and Danika kept ignoring his calls. I found their house number on her brothers facebook page. After the third call at 9pm her dad answered and it turnes out she did get home.
I got a text from Danika that night: "Just making sure you got home fine." I waited a few hours and sent: "Im fine."
That was my trip. I actually got a text late last night from Taylor (thats about 5 days later): "Hey John things ended in Cali kind of crappy but I'm still really happy we went and I really appreciated the tickets. I hope things can still be ok with us. I love you a lot." I still havn't responded to that text. She waited 5 days so I'm waiting at least three. I'm not going to say: "yay. i love you 2. were friends." I don't know if I can forgive them that fast for that. No way.
So how am I? Well i have learned a lot about life threw this all. I came threw it all and im alive. I don't have any best friends anymore. No one to talk to other then my mom and dad. Just me. I havn't gone out or done anything other then last night with my dad and his work friends. Yah.
I'll leave you with a quote from Christofer Drew song: "My whole life is not what it seems, it's not a fairy tale or a damn wet dream, its just a life."
thanks for caring. it means a lot!
-John.
6 comments:
Man, that was a shocker reading about them stealing stuff. I didn’t think normal people did things like that. That is so wrong!
It sure is wonderful that you can talk to your Dad about all these things that were happening and get his advice on what to do. And good also that you listen to him and take his advice. And your Mom too. It is so good that you have such nice and understanding parents.
Jeez, you really scared me when you talked about driving home so fast. So many young people get killed doing things like that, especially without adequate rest beforehand.
This was really a bad experience. I’m sorry you had to go through this. You had such good plans and intentions for the trip. I don’t know what you could have done differently except to choose better friends.
I guess all you can do now is learn from all of this. I hope you will find some new friends soon. I wouldn’t have anything to do with these three anymore if it was me. I could never forgive them for all that happened. I would just write them off. I wouldn’t even text or talk to them again.
In amongst all the bad experiences, it sounds like you did have some fun times at all the places you went. I hope with some time that the bad parts will fade out in your memory and you can remember the good times more.
I hope the rest of your summer goes well. It sure hasn’t gotten off to a very good start.
Well, I won't say that I'm shocked at the way the trip ended, even tho it amazes me that these people did the things that they did... The reason that I've expressed confusion over the fact that you didn't see this coming is this- I know that you said that you were talked into taking Shelby by the others, etc... OK... I get that... What I don't get is how you could not have understood so much about these people in the most fundamental ways- I'm calling them 'people' because they really aren't and apparently never were, your friends... They resent you on so many levels; they don't have even a miniscule amount of feeling for you or your safety, except MAYBE Taylor, and, that's self- serving at it's best!!
For the life of me, I can't understand how you didn't see enough of this earlier to NEVER have scheduled this trip, in the 1st place... These are some of the worst examples of friends that I have seen in a long time!! There are fundamental flaws in all of them that are just.... well, inexcusable and unforgivable... I would drop them like my life depended on it, because it does!!
Why they care so little for you, is irrelevant on some level, but, you might want to assess, at some point, how you allowed these kinds of people into your life... You have learned some valuable lessons about human behavior, but, it will be wasted if you meet new people, and aren't more selective about those that get through your initial 'screening'... I sense that you settled for friends before, that were non- judgmental about your sexuality, and probably forgave what you considered some small defects, just so that you wouldn't feel lonely... If that's the case, I understand... But, now, you see the danger in that strategy- these people are ugly on so many other levels, to the point where they really were dangerous to your well being....
There are much nicer, and better friends out there, John, waiting to meet you... I am SO glad that you are heading off to college!! Leave these losers in your dust, and don't look back, except to learn from it, and, with time, to laugh at it!! I hope that you don't consider this mean or that you feel that I'm 'piling on' to the misery that you feel.... I don't mean to- I'm just being honest and hoping that you get the kinds of friends that you really deserve!! luv, tman<3hugs2!!
The money thing is a big issue.
My family was definitely lower-middle class in East L.A. when I was growing up, but through hard work and some luck, my parents pulled out of it. Still, I had to pay for everything on my own (and do chores or jobs to earn the money), even things like my bus passes for school.
At almost 33, I'm financially comfortable: I've worked for a company for 12 years, so I've got a lot of benefits and a really nice salary. Most of my friends aren't, and there's definitely some resentment when, for example, I fly to Hawaii or Cancun for a vacation while they're struggling to pay rent.
Like you, they seem to ignore the hours I spend daily at work, the nights and weekends I get phone calls about system crashes or rush projects, the 27 years I've spent programming (yes, I started when I was 5), etc. All they see is "he's got money and I don't", and that causes problems.
There's no way around it, and nothing you can do about it. It is, unfortunately, part of an "entitlement" culture or mentality that a lot of people have. Most of my friends, after time, have come to realize how hard I work for what I have and thus are less jealous, but that never entirely goes away.
While this was a horrible way to find out how your friends think about you, at least now you know. I would recommend, if you think any of the relationships are worth salvaging (Taylor, maybe?), that you have a one-on-one conversation with the individual and discuss it all - calmly, if possible.
If not, well, chalk it up to experience and move on. People change phsyically and psychologically, especially in late teens and early 20's, so it may just be a case of you guys growing apart. Or it might just be a "bad period" and you'll all work it out later.
Just keep trying to be the best person you can, regardless of what everyone else thinks. That's all anyone can ask.
Even minor theft is so stupid; especially with you present and stolen stuff in your car. Putting you in danger of an adult criminal record. Also it has always pissed me that when you work hard and manage your finances responsibly, other people act as if you were handed money on a platter. 'You're so lucky to have that good job!'; excuse me, I sacrificed and studied hard to be qualified for that job while you were out partying. These girls ultimately turned out to be very shallow people; all you wanted was come consideration and cooperation so you could all have a fun time. It sounds to me like they were using you and the nastiness came out when they were being unreasonable.
-To me, as a gay guy, trust and respect is everything. A true friend should be reasonable and never stab you in the back. A friend is someone you confide your feelings to and betrayal hurts deeply. I mean this shit is hard on the nerves; this was a celebration of graduation and they turned it into something for the delete bin. I have always been suspicious of women and their motives; I'm sure there are some good ones out there but man, the bad ones sure are hard on the head. (50% divorce rate!)
-So John, settle back at home, lick your wounds, and don't let this sour you on relationships but chalk it up as a learning experience. I'm sure there are some caring and sensitive gay guys out there for you. So this summer, take your time and look around; enjoy your freedom; get some exercise and look after yourself. Meet some new people in college this fall. You are not alone in this; everyone has had friends who turned out not to be. Sometimes loss turns out to be opportunity. bfn - Wayne (big hugs)
you dont want thieves for friends...or lousers..lay down with dogs you get flees...if they got caught shoplifting you could have gone down as a lookout
hi.. I used to work next to stateline tow's yard. i-15 on any wkend is a death rally. im being totally serious! ppl are so ignorant, till somthin real bad happens. at least u got home w/ no problems. smart, or lucky.
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