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Spring Break.

on Wednesday, March 31, 2010
It's currently spring break. Which is basically a week that reminds you how much you really cant wait till summer starts. It's been pretty awesome but its going by way to fast. Not going to lie I needed this more then anything.

My uncle is alive still. No one know how. Every doctor says that there is no way that he can be alive. He has cancer everywhere. In every place you could imagine. It has completely robbed him of his body. So your prayers are helping and it means a lot. Please keep the prayers going as they mean the world to me and to him (even though he doesnt know you are praying for him). I appreciate it more then you will ever know. Thank you.

So. So. So. What has happened since we last talked? Umm.. Not much but a lot. I dont know how to explain it. I went to a festival thing called extreme thing and was FRONT AND CENTER at the AP Tour stage. =p My favorite band/person ever, NeverShoutNever, was playing and he pointed me out. Made by life.

I think im falling for someone. I can't though. =[ It's nothing serious. He just kind of fits all of a sudden. Falling into like, not love. I can't love anyone right now. My heart is to... taken up by life's events.

So I think i made a mistake because I told my friend about this blog and now im scared she is reading it. I was going to talk about the guy but I dont want her to know that I kind of am starting to maybe like him. Just because it would make things awkward. So I'll talk more about him soon.

So guys here something I have noticed. A lot of the blogs I follow are starting to stop posting and close. So here is the thing. If I dont post a blog at least every other day leave me an extra comment reminding me to post a blog. Deal? That way I will blog more often and if I forget I got you guys giving me that extra push =p

Again. Thanks for the prayers and I love all the support and love you guys are sending my way!! =p


on Friday, March 26, 2010
I don't blog for views. I dont blog for money (i dont make any at all from this). I don't blog to be famous on the internet. I blog for me. I blog for the people that are gay and need some positivity in their life. I blog for you.

This whole experience with my uncle has taught me a lot about life. How short and meaningful it truly is. How every extra day is a miracle and you need to cherish it all. How if i can make a min of someone's life better by blogging once a week then this blog is worth everything. I want to make a difference. I want people to know that they can be gay. They can be who they are. They can be happy.

There isn't much to say about my uncle. He is still in the same place he was. Everyday is a fight against fate. I want to thank you all for your prayers. It means more to me then you will ever know.

I'm in a very weird state right now. I dont really know how to interpret it. There is so much to tell you about what has been going on with my life. Friends. Drama. Family. Just that at this point. Its not as important to me as life.

I will talk to you all soon. Please keep praying for my uncle!! Thank you so much for the love and support. I truly love you all and appreciate it soooo much.

I Need Your Help. Please.

on Monday, March 22, 2010
My uncle is dying on cancer. My parents are depressed. My mom is constantly crying and its just a sad thing to watch. He is my mothers brother in law. Aka: my moms sisters husband. He is such an amazing guy. He built up so much and has helped us out so much. He has two amazing kids: a 10 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. As much as I dont believe in religion or whatever I'm going to ask you guys to pray for him. Something I should have done a while ago. The doctor said its a matter of days now. =[ Please spread the word and tell all your friends to pray for him please. It would mean the world to me.

I will keep you guys updated.

Thanks again,
John Doe.

Just A Bad Day.

on Thursday, March 18, 2010
The show was a disaster and it was just bad. I messed up a cue and it was weird in general. Also me and my friend got in a fight. Im drinking right now. Im not drunk but im drinking. I just needed a drink. If you care its patron with castco's version of orange flavored gatorade.

So yah. Today was just a waist of 24 hours in my opinion. I would elaborate but im lazy and I want to just get drunk and pass out and forget that I have another day of school. :/

My friend and I made up if you were wondering. I might be having a kick back/party Saturday. We will see how it goes.

CICI's and Sex. I mean Sets. ;)

on Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Opening night of the musical went AMAZING. Again if you forgot: I'm running the audio. Thats 13 broadway mics and 30 cues. Yup. Im a pro lol Im just kidding... We went to get pizza at Cici's and it was my first time there. Its was good. Not the best. I can see why its only $5 lol

So I have a headace. I super tired and have school tomorrow. Blahh... So today I skipped math again. Yah. Again. lol I tend to sleep in a lot. Senioritis? Yah. (look it up on urban dictionary!). Also im kinda frustrated. No cute guys :/ WHY ARE THERE NEVER ANY CUTE GUYS??? haha

My ex girlfriend. You know: "the mistake" as we call her. Is texting me and sending me questions on formspring. She wants me to visit her. She likes in California. She even offered to let me spend the night at her house for her birthday. Yah. Thats not going to happen. I'm kind of scared to come out to her. I mean I have done it to everyone BUT her so yah :/ Also none of my Cali friends know. I dont really talk to them anymore so yah that doesnt matter much anyway. Shit happens and you move on right??

Fun fact: total flamboyant gay kid added me on facebook. We went to elementary school together. We were best friends. Still havn't talked to him though haha Idk where he lives but we went to school together in California back in the day.

Going to a hookah bar friday with the friends. We are going with 8 of us. I just realized how many lesbians I hang out with. Like 5. One's a bestie? Idk. I guess. We are getting close but not there just yet.

Cute australian kid is coming to where i live this summer. He is really excited. Me on the other hand: not so much. Don't want his parents finding out and me being a sex offender at age 18. lol

So yah. I'm heading to bed. I have this awesome contest im doing and I really hope that you guys will like it. Especially the younger guys that read my blog. Its will an organization and they are willing to give out something special. More on that Saturday!!!



on Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Its been a long month and tomorrow its going to get longer. I'm currently waiting on a friend to reply so we can chat but until then i'll blog.

Today was weird. I have to do this stupid 5 page essay and i dont even know where to get started. The worst part is we are doing it in class so using the internet is not an option. =[

The show opens up tomorrow and I hope it goes well. We are going to Cici's to get pizza before the show. All the techs lol The cast party is still a no go. No one is willing to have it so whatever. We are going out on friday anyway so thats all good. Also im currently wanting a boy friend. Just a note lol I keep changing my mind about it.

Fun fact? My favorite band is NeverShoutNever. Seeing him live this month. Can't wait.

We are planning a trip (me and 3 other friends) to go on a trip to Six Flags. Agh! Almost tomorrow so im going to post this now.

John Time lol

on Sunday, March 14, 2010
Well today was time for me. I didnt to anything and it felt soooo good. Not that in the back of my head I wasn't going: "JOHN YOU HAVE SO MUCH HW AND 2 ESSAYS TO WRITE!!" I didnt do them though. Oh well. Shit happens right? In all honesty I have a couple days to do each thing but a couple assignments were due tomorrow that I will have to get lucky and find time to do during school tomorrow lol

I was THIS close to hooking up with this guy. Lets call him: frank. I was texting him and trying to come over so i could fuck him but his parents were home and then next day I realized that after I jacked off I didnt really want to hook up with anyone. I was just really horny that night lol It's whatever. Plus he isn't really my type and the last time I hung out with him he annoyed the shit out of me lol For being 18 he was still really immature and it bugged me the most. He is in a lot of ways exactly opposite of what I usually look for in a guy. Then again its just sex... I've had sex with him before. It was really... awkward and uncomfortable.

Well yah. That was last week but I didnt write about it so there it is lol. Talk to you all tomorrow?? Yup!

I fucking miss you guys...

on Saturday, March 13, 2010
im not dead lol Im also really sorry for not posting. This month has drained me. Completely. I have no time for anything. I'm so behind in everything. School, youtube, thinking time, and most of all SCHOOL. lol I have no time to even sit back and think. Here is a recap of my month so far:

It started with State Conference. It was the 4th-6th. It was held across town and I had to drive there everyday back and forth. Friday and Saturday I was there all day and thursday from 2pm till like 9pm. It was hell. I skipped school monday which put me behind two days. Then on wend we started rehearsal's for our musical (im running the sound) and those go from after school till about 5pm. Then thursday I had to work a show that night after the rehearsal so I had like 20min to go home grab a piece of fruit and my math textbook and run back to school. Then friday. We had a rehearsal and then I "hung out" with my friends. It was stupid and boring and then they went home and I went to sleep. This morning I had to run and go to pick my car up from the body shop and return the rental I had been using. I found out that they didnt even finish working on the car and that I have to bring it back it on monday. Then I got home and grabbed my script and drove to school for another rehearsal. Now try fitting in the TONS of homework, essays, and projects I had to do. Plus the makeup work from the days I missed school. Then on top of that then tons of stupid high school drama you have to deal with, NOT TO MENTION my parents being fucking on my ass 24/7 and me trying to work with a client on a catalogue and a website. You fall apart.

I just need me time and I wont have that for the next month or so. Or until I graduate lol I'm physically and mentally drained. I miss you guys though. I miss talking to you guys threw comments and e-mail and MSN. I miss logging into blogger and talking about my day and updating you all on whats going on. I miss the Survey Sunday's! I hate seeing that I didnt post in so long.

So from now on im going to make this blog a priority. I will blog daily for at least the next week (which is going to be THE HARDEST WEEK OF MY LIFE!!). I dont care if im half asleep and if I only write a little. It something I need to do for myself. So I will see you all tomorrow. =p

Love you all!!

Its Been A While...

on Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wow. I havn't posted in a long time. There is a lot to talk about guys. Lets start off with my film. It got an excellence at state level. Which is great but at the same time not what you want. It's ok though. I'm happy and im still going to enter the film into a bunch of film festivals here in town. The state festival was run by the thespian society and to put it nicely: wtf do they know about short films?? lol I'm so excited about what is to come and im not letting this get me down at all. =p

Next subject: boys. I met and saw TONS of cute gay boys the week/weekend. One that hit on me that I thought was SO FUCKING HOT. He lives 9 hours away though =[ So that didnt end up going anywhere. The thing I did notice was, as much as I was checking out guys, I didnt want anything more then that. I didnt want to go and flirt and do the whole relationship thing. I dont know why but I just didnt want it.

On the other hand I got in a fight with a friend. She was pushing my buttons all day and then I couldn't take it and blew up. She apologized and its all good now but she went way to far and she was definitely in the wrong.

So yah. Today has just sucked. Total downer. Sorry if this blog sucked. Still getting back into the hang of things. Also I have all these e-mails i have not read whatsoever. So im going to do this thing since there is no survey today. If you guys want to chat with me I will be on MSN/Skype tomorrow at 8pm pacific time. So we call all chat!! Both of the usernames are:!

Hope to talk to you guys!

rental cars. friends. school. film.

on Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Lets make this brief: my car's in the shop and i got a rental which i drove in with my friend to go to in n out after school and then i got home and worked on the short film. ok. thats it. see you later!!

no! im just kidding lol here is the real blog:

So the last two days have been crazy. I had to drop my car off at the body shop to fix it up (i didnt crash it dont worry lol). I got a rental car which is pretty cool. Its a dodge charger, white on black haha. Then I got home and I had to go work the tech for a band show at school.

Then today we got the posters and flyers I designed for our musical. They turned out amazing. =p I went and got a milkshake from In N' Out. It was sooo good. It was so worth the 10 min drive lol There was this crazy women that was like "ima go smoke me a cig-er-et." it was fucking hilarious. Good times with friends =p Love it.

After that I went and got my eyebrows waxed and got a haircut. So I look fresh to death. Perfect timing cause state is this weekend. My film competes thursday night and then friday and saturday are workshops and other people competitions. The awards ceremony is saturday night. So I'll let you know how it goes. Only the best of the best get to go to the next level which is NATIONALS!!!! I dont even know if I got a chance... Agh. im starting to get nervous just talking about it!!

Also I havn't gotten to any of the emails. I feel horrible about it. Also there hasn't been a survey sunday in a while but dont worry cause I have a surprise for you guys that you will hopefully enjoy ;) alright. well i have to go now. peace out!