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on Friday, October 30, 2009
I'm in one of those lazy mood's again where I dont feel like doing anything... So yah, today was Nevada Day! The only reason that sentence deserves a exclamation point is because we get the day off!!

I'm going to start "looking" for a new potential boyfriend. It's always hard to find gay guys at my age so I know it wont be easy. I'm going to see Jake in a week. I'm not that excited about it but whatever. I'm not going to run up to him and hug him or anything. I'm going to his school to watch a show that he is in. He play's a fairy haha, its funny cause he is gay. Anyway we are going to watch the show not because he is in it but because his school came to see our show so its only polite to go and watch theirs.

Tomorrow is halloween and it's the first year I'm ever going trick or treating. My mom never let me go as a kid. Me and my friends are going and then we are going to do other stuff... I would tell you but I have no idea what yet haha!

So yah. I think im going to call up a friend and go shopping with the $100 I saved up. Maybe get a cate bag or something. We will see... BYE!! =p

Watching TV and Blogging =p

on Wednesday, October 28, 2009
It really is a great combination. Well today I really was in a lazy mood. I didn't really care about much. I realized that im not really in the blogging community. Like im there and I comment and I blog and I check out new blogs every day and I follow them but its not the same. It's my fault and I know if I want to change that then I need to be more involved. I'm just so busy lately. I've been non stop working and running places. I feel like my life consists of just running around and not enough time. So I apologize if you feel like im not your blogging BFF! One day, im hoping sooner then latter, I will have time and will be you blogging BFF =p

So I still have $100 saved up. The one thing you need to know about me is that im HORRIBLE with saving money but im great at spending is asap. I dont know what to do... I need to save it for gas but there is most likely a sale at H&M haha. I'm JK guys im not that irresponsible.

P.s. If you want to exchange links or just talk or whatever e-mail me:

I really am super tired so im going to take a nap!

I'm A Busy Bee! haha

on Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Omg I have been swamped. I am so swamped that I had to cancel a hair cut and facial to sit in the auditions for the talent show. Then I was (was because I called in and told them im to tired) meant to work a band show doing sound.

I got in the talent show =p I think it was cause they knew me and I was a judge. It's ok cause everyone loved the act. So since I was a judge at the talent show I got to see some... special people. I swear some people have guts to go on stage and think they can sing when really they sound like SHIT. Sorry it's true. There were some amazing act's though. There was this amazing couple that did this hip hop dance and they had this story to it all and it was sooo cute!

In case anyone care's I got a C on that other quiz! Which im very happy about because A) I didnt even read the story that the quiz was on and B) my friends that took notes and studied and all got a F lol. So I think i did a good job BS'ing it. haha In government today we had this whole "how a bill passes" thing and it was really cool. Every person came up with a bill and then the teacher picked them "out of a hat" (it was a box lol). Some asshole was like "america shouldn't allow homos'!" WTF! We only had time for 3 bills and all 3 were stupid. Thought in my head: "I cant get married and this is what you consider important?!?" Ex. One of the bills said that people shouldn't need a high school diploma to get a job. So I was like "really?!? You want some drop out to become a rocket scientist?" and she was like "No you see cuz i was gonna go an get me a job at the t-mobile store but then after they hads all the papers and stuffs dun they were like, nah you cant work here cause you aint got no HS diploma!" Me: Thats what matter's to you? You cant just wait 7 more months and get a job at T-Mobile? except I didnt say that part. People are so stupid in my government class. Some kid asked how many words are in a sentence. Some girl was like "So is that 400 ac or 400 dc?" YOU SEE WHAT I DO THREW?? (sarcastic tone) haha

I was going to have a kickback at my house this weekend. A kickback is like a party but with less people and is focused on just having fun with a little bit of alcohol haha ok... maybe a lot of it. See my parents were going to go out of town but my little brother got sick and now they decided they aren't leaving.

Sorry this post is very random and not very organized. I'm exhausted from this week already and its only tuesday! AGH! Math homework and then some SLEEP! Luckily I have a little free time tomorrow cause our meeting for the one act was moved to thursday. That give's me like 4 hours and then I have to go work a show at 5pm!


on Monday, October 26, 2009
Wow... so let me start off this post with a explanation. I guess I took out a bunch of anger on the post. I wasn't that mad. In fact the only reason I blew up on here was because I didnt blow up to anyone else. So yes maybe I sounded like a little selfish brat but that was not how I acted and I am embarrassed that it sounded that way.

About the comments thing... I do read all of your guy's blogs! It's how I end my day before I go to bed. So from now on I promise to leave a comment after I read them!!

Now on with the day... I GOT A LEAD ROLE!!! hell to the yes! I got a lead! THE TECHNICIAN GOT A LEAD haha. I have the funniest lines and im very excited for our first meeting!!

As for the rest of my day? I had a test and 2 quizzes. I got an A on my math one but I dont know about the others. I kind of bs'd the other quiz lol.

Anyway im super tired and have lots of homework to do.


Miss Me??

on Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sorry, its been a while. I've just been very busy with lots of stuff. So how were my days? Well the shows over and it was good. The cast party sucked and me and a couple friends ended up leaving early. I meet up with some old friends that graduated last year and thats all good and fun! We made plans to hang out and stuff.

I've come to realization that I dont need a boyfriend right now. I'm to busy to care and obviously Jake is too. So fuck him. Im over his ugly ass. Ok... he was soooo not ugly but still. I deserve to bash him for being a douche.

I'm going to try acting. The play's are student directed and only one act so it should just be fun and not overwhelming and crazy. Plus all the directors are my close friends. I'm also trying out with my cousin for the talent show which is cool. We are singing a song she wrote and she is playing guitar. Its a duet. =p So yes... I'll let you guys know how that all goes. Auditions for both are this week, monday and tuesday.

Today my mom was being such a bitch. First she did the whole gay reference thing. Ex. aunt:"what are you doing after high school" me:"im moving to san francisco" mom:"why cause thats where are the homo's are?" AGH!!! I hate when she does that. Remember I never officially came out to my parents but they still know cause once they asked and I was like "i got to go BYE!"

Then I was offered a job, a paying job that could have got me around $500. My mom decided that I didnt have time and then she referred her to someone else to do the same job. I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE AND SHE JUST SPOKE FOR ME LIKE I DIDNT MATTER!!!

agh. fuck this. I'm in a bad mood now. haha I've been listening to janedoe by nevershoutnever all day. its the cutest song ever. you can find it on his myspace page:

I'll talk to you all later! How about some comments to make me feel better?? lol

School, School, Oh Yah & Jake

on Thursday, October 22, 2009
So remember how I said he was ignoring him. Well yah... he didnt come to the show because his dad flew in and his mom wouldn't let him leave her alone with him because they are divorced. Which I get but that doesnt mean he has a free pass. He still needs to EARN my love lol. He needs to try now which might make him realize im not here to play games...

Saw this really cute boy today. He is to young to be hot and i would NEVER date someone that young but cuteness wise he was a 9.5 (i like never give out 10's lol). My gaydar went off on him and my friend (who is a lesbian) said so too! Haha turns out he is best friends with my friends younger brother and he is "straight" cause he has a thing for some girl. My view: I wouldn't be surprised if the kid and my friends younger brother "experimented" haha.

I'm SOOO tired. This week has been crazy busy. Oh yah i got grounded for this weekend cause i came home an hour late and forgot to call. whatever... shit happens.


on Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Jake didnt show up at our show tonight. He also hasnt texted be since sunday. I'm kinda over it. He really isnt worth it anymore. Unless he is like in the hospital or something im done. I'm not going to try if he doesnt want to try. Don't get me wrong, im not hurt. Upset, yes, but bot hurt. He's just a boy.

He has a small chance to fix all of this. He better do one hell of a job doing it though.

Other then that life is good, well its ok. I told my mom that I want to take a year off and find myself and she basically said no. Then flipped a bitch. I have a couple months to tell her that im going to do what I want and that if she ends up not paying for my education then she can blame herself for me not going to school. I'll get my degree. It does not mean that I HAVE to get it right away.

Well im so tired so im going to head to bed.

Stupid waistless day...

on Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The only good part of today was I got to stay home from school. Other then that I hated it. I didnt really do much today except for sleep and eat so there isn't really much I can write about.

Oh yah... I had rehearsal today and tomorrow is the opening night of the show. My parents wouldn't let me go to the LAST rehearsal because I missed school today. Which was stupid because the show is tomorrow and now i will never get to have a part in a show because I look irresponsible.

I wish I could get the hell out of here sometimes. Just run really far away for a year or two and forget everything. I think im going to take a year off and "find myself" after high school. Maybe move to san francisco and work at a gay club as a bar tender. Something random and fun haha

Stay with me here:
- I graduate and move to san fran.
-Make it about a gay 18 year old living in a gay neighborhood not knowing anyone or anything at all.
-I wouldn't need to be anonymous. So i would post video's and pics and stuff.
-Then put ad's up and make it my source of income.

How cool would that be!?!?! Well i still have 8 months to go and right now its only a dream. but still!! How could would that be!?!?! haha


on Monday, October 19, 2009
I dont know why but all of a sudden today I got like this huge pain in my chest and I felt like throwing up and then I got really sick. So I told my mom to come get me out of school and I went to the doctor. The doctor was a total tool and didnt even listen to me before he was like "just drink lots of fluids." I was so mad. In my head: "Really??!?! I drove all the way over here so you could make sure i didnt have anything serious like swine flu or something cause my chest hurts and you just sit here and ignore what I have to say!!" Anyway... he gave me a pass for today and tomorrow off school but told me to miss 2-3 days. I guess he's just as good at math as he is at being a doctor. douche...

Anyways... Jake texts me like every night and because I want him to chase after me I tend to end the conversations really quickly. Also, he does this thing where if I dont text him back (which i tend to do just cause im busy sometimes) he will text me again and be like "soo what are you up to know mister" or something cute like that. Which makes me feel wanted lol

Last night he texted me and told me the picture i posted on facebook was really cute and i should default it. Which i already had done because he "liked" it (its a feature) on facebook. It was cute lol

E-mail change: now its

My Weekend!

on Sunday, October 18, 2009
It was soooo busy. I had so much to do. As you all know Jake canceled on me friday but that didnt stop me from flirting with him non stop on Saturday at the music festival thing. I only got to spend an hour with him but that hour... was amazing lol I told him that I felt "something" and I asked him if I was the only one and he said no. He then went on to say we live to far away from each other and that he doesnt think its going to work. I told him he was wrong and that he only lives 30 min away and I have a car and that he is friends with a girl that goes to our school so why cant we work out. So he said he will try and I made him promise. I then told him (yes literally told him) that he needs to make up for friday and that he will ask me out on a date and he will pick when the date is cause the last two times I asked him he canceled. He told me I need to wait until after his show is over... which is like november 4th or something.

Oh yah... he is sooo cute!!!! I couldnt stop smiling and I felt like I knew him for years. We have soo much in common its crazy.

As for my friend, we are all good now. We kinda talked it over on myspace and then just let it go. We hung out for a bit at the festival and it was like nothing ever happened. I think that shows how good of friends we really are. How we can put things behind us and move on =p

I have school tomorrow so I need to get some rest. I had a really long weekend. Jake's texting me now so im going to go get ready for bed but I dont know if I'll actually get to sleeping haha

Friday Is Finally Here...

on Friday, October 16, 2009
Not that it matters anymore cause I have no date anymore but whatever.

Today I really just had a bad day. Rehearsal ended up with my friend and I getting into this huge confrontation and her running out cussing at me. She was in the wrong though so I'm not as mad about is as she is. High school is filled with stupid drama.

Tomorrow I have rehearsal from 7 in the morning to 12. Yahhh not fun. I got stuck at home tonight doing nothing because all my friends already have plans and its to short notice or whatever. Tomorrow after rehearsal i'm going to this hude music concert/festival thing that jake's also going to. I'm going to tell him that I like him if I get a min to talk to him. If not then I'm going to just tell him over the phone (which would suck and not be romantic at all haha)

Well last year when I went to the festival place was the first time I started smoking weed last year. So It's been a year since I started and I've been sober since May. Which is a longgg time for me haha. I'm happy though so its all good.

Well I'm really really bored so I'm going to find something to do and do it haha
Talk to you all latttterrrrr <33333333

Jake The Douche.

on Thursday, October 15, 2009
The fucker (excuse my language) canceled on our date. Our first date. The good news is that he is coming to the same place im going to be at Saturday so ill see him around. He said he feels really bad about canceling. I'm kinda flirting with him and being mean at the same time. lol there is a big word for that but I cant remember it. lol

So I have no plans for tomorrow. I mean I know I'll end up going out somewhere, I just done know where or when or with who lol. It's one of those Friday's. OMG TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!! Its about fucking time! lol.

I chewed out Jake G. (the annoying sophomore) in front of the whole cast of the play we are doing. Literally in front. It was right after they got notes so they were all sitting on the stage listening to me rant about how he fucked up one of the mic's. If you know about mics then you know that when a actor messes them up you get pissed. This one was $2,000!! So I had every right to chew him out. People hugged me after too. They were like "Omg that was amazing!" Like I said. Everyone hates the kid. He's annoying.

My body is about to give out so I'm going to go watch some tv i recorded and pass out.


(p.s. whats the easiest/best way to see page views and stuff)

Boring Yet Eventful Day

on Wednesday, October 14, 2009
As much as this day was boring, I got a lot done. Including a website that I'm getting paid for. =p So thats good. Chipotle (kinda like subway but with burritos and tacos' lol) was giving out free food for our school today. So we all went and I took it as an opportunity to pass out flyers for our show. Next thing I know is the owner was like "hey we will cater your rehearsal for free!" Awesome huh?

School was boring. Didnt really care about anything. I got a loss of credit notice in the mail for one of my classes because I was absent more then 5 times and they were unexcused. Which is bullshit cause I totally turned in a note. So hopefully that all gets figured out or I wont be able to graduate.

It was my turn to text Jake today but I was sooo swamped with work that I didnt have enough time to breath. In fact I still have like an all nighter to pull if I want to finish all the homework I have. I'm so busy that I dont have time for a facial. Which suck cause I wanted to look good for friday.

I missed Glee (the tv show) today =[ Again... I was busy. I feel like I dont have any time at all to myself. I need a vacation but I wont get one till next month.

That reminds me... I have rehearsal at 7am Saturday and I have a date with nick at 10:30pm on friday. So I'm going to be SUPER tired and unresponsive lol. Then that night is this huge concert festival thing and I'm going to be to tired to go. Sunday ill be homework day lol

Well I' super tired so I'm going to takea nap and wake up in a couple hours to finish homework. blah. school sucks.

Obama on Gay Rights, Milk, & More!

on Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sorry. I know his speech was cute and all but really! Did you hear what he was saying?? Its a bullshit speech that he didnt even write. Yah we all know that there are gay kids that have a hard time coming out. I was one of them. So what. Tell me what you are going to do to change that Mr. President! How about instead of giving me your opinion and prediction on how "one day" when he will have a easier time you actually tell me why and how that day will come.

Harvey Milk officially has a day of remembrance in california. He is really a hero to me. He opened up my eyes and showed me that if you want to be heard you really need to believe in yourself. That you dont have to be perfect to be a leader. He is someone that definitely deserves a day.

I made a decision, im not talking to Jake about the truth box. There will be other dances and im not worried about it. Im excited for friday!! Im getting a facial and getting my brows waked thursday if the lady isnt booked. My parents said that they are still thinking about letting me go friday cause its so far and late. Its like 10:30 but its 30min away from where I live. They will most likely let me go.

I wrote a song on my brothers ukulele. Well kinda. It has a chorus and a bridge and 1 verse lol. So its almost done. Its cute and inspired byt Jake. Awe. He's so cute! He makes me smile randomly.

I still havnt done any of my homework and I still need to do a project. Ill do it soon.

Should I get an msn messenger thing?? everyone is talking about it on their blogs! If I got one would you talk to me?? lol

What Should I Do?

Ok. So homecoming is this weekend and I didnt ask anyone. I was going to ask Jake but I though it might be to soon. So yah here is whats going on. He posted a thing on facebook saying that he doesnt have a date and that he's mad.

He then posted a honesty box question asking what song reminds me(well... anyone) of him. I totally had an answer so I posted on it and added that i was going to ask but didnt cause I didnt want to rush anything. He replied and told me it was a cute song and then he replied later asking me to just tell him who I was. So I wanted to know if he was expecting it to be me, or maybe just wanting it to be. So I asked him. He said he didnt want it to be anyone and that he wasnt expecting anyone. Which really sucks because I wanted him to want me lol.

So know what?
Do I tell him its me?
If I tell him, and he doesnt think of friday as a date, will he cancel?
If I tell him doesnt that make me weird doing it over facebook?

Tell me what you think! Cause I have no idea what to do. lol

Im Just In A Shitty Mood.

on Monday, October 12, 2009
Agh! Im stressed out. I have way to much on my mind and I just dont care about most of the important stuff I need to get done. I have a stupid government project due tomorrow that I havent started. I have tons of makeup work. I have to finish this website that should have been done weeks ago.

Worst of all... I texted Jake. Sorry, I know, wait it out. I did for 3 days. I just needed to know if we were still going to go out on friday because I wanted to go buy tickets for the show. He hasnt texted me back yet but Im giving him the benefit of the doubt right now. He might be busy or whatever so I get it. It's just that I feel if we dont see each other by friday everything is just going to go to shit.

Im super tired and I have way to much on my plate. I have theater stuff everyday till 4:30 for the next 2 weeks. Then im going to try acting for once and audition for student directed plays (im normally a technician). Then I have to work another show like a day after that.

Homecoming is this weekend. Im not doing anything. Most likely just staying home and pretending to not care about being alone at home when everyone has a date and is out partying. My trip got me thinking about changing my plans for college. I was going to major in business but now I might just do something else. I cant decide what I want out of my life.

Im going to take a nap or something. Maybe after I'll be in a better mood.

Trip In Review...

on Sunday, October 11, 2009
Lets get a few names out of the way:

Giovanna - best friend =p
Jake G. - annoying sophomore I roomed with
Alex - stupid freshman I roomed with.

Well yah I roomed with 3 guys, Alex, Jake G., and Davis. Davis was cool but the other two OMG! First of all lets start with Alex. He was sooo weird. He was, in the middle of the night, sitting up and watching me sleep. The next morning he told me there was "something over me" while i was sleeping. Yah... he is weird. Jake G. is just a douche. He acts like he is the shit and that he is the coolest person ever. Like he tries so hard its annoying. He doesn't understand the concept of respect. The whole trip everyone was hatting on him.

Giovanna, who is my best friend, decided that she didnt want to spend time with me. Which pissed me off because she literally has been ignoring me for a week now. Whatever I'll get over it.

There were like a TON of hot gay guys there. Like 100's of them. Every place I was there was at least 2. It was amazing! The only problem was that they all reminded me about how they are not Jake (my guy). =[ So I texted him and then he never texted me back. Since then I have been a reck. I keep analyzing everything. From what I said/did to what to do next. Its killing me. I got him a gift too. Its a whislet. Its a bracelet that you put on and say a wish and when it falls off it comes true. Kinda cute huh? lol

Overall it was an amazing trip. I had a good time and hung out with a bunch of people. I loved it all. I won and its an amazing feeling. I just hope that Jake (my jake lol) ends up texting me soon cause I want him to make an effort.

Im actually watching desperate housewives right now and typing during commercials lol So I'll talk to you all later. BYE =p

I Won!!!

on Saturday, October 10, 2009
So I'm on my iPhone right now with 20% battery so sorry for any spelling mistakes or anything.

Were on the bus heading home right now. We won two things. I was one of the people that won! It's a huge competition. The biggest high school competition in the world and I WON!!! Haha. The moment was crazy. I didn't even think I was gong to win.

Well yah everyone is sleepng and I'm typing away with a bright light shining at my face. Lol I'll make a new post tomorrow with more details and stuff. I'm really tired and we have a bit of a drive.

Let me tell you... This trip was like cute gay boy heaven. Lol


Second Day Of The Trip!

on Friday, October 9, 2009
Again this needs to be short. They are distracted by the TV (boys...). They are watching Funniest Home Videos lol. So yah today I competed and I did pretty good. I got this new hat that is really cute and I also got these "cannabis" smelling incense. Haha

I watched a bunch of people compete and I got some really good coffee and pancakes like an hour ago. Now we are in the bed about to sleep.

Nothing new with Jake. He is still being the same (insert whatever he is here).

Tomorrow I find out if we won anything. Hopefully we did.

Ok well bye!!!!

First Night Of The Trip

on Thursday, October 8, 2009
So I'm sitting in the hotel (its an inn) and yes... they have free wi-fi! SCORE!

So I'm here... where ever that may be (sorry cant tell you). I'm in a room with 3 other guys: Alex, Jake (not that one), and Davis. They are cool I guess, typical guys. Alex is really weird though. Anyways... We saw a really good play. It was from a book that I read a couple years ago. I loved it. I cried a bit. It was sad... but in a good way.

I got Jake (my jake) a gift cause his school didnt come on the trip. Its a wishlet (wish and bracelet). You make a wish and put it on, when it falls off your wish comes true. Cute huh? I'm going to give it to him on friday when we go see the show.

Well I kinda dont have much privacy and im just hopping no one looks over lol So I'm gonna go. Sorry It was so short.

Tomorrow's The Trip...

on Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Which I still am going on. My parents are still being total assholes about everything. Now its about college. Let me explain:

I messed up my first two years of high school. I basically ruined my GPA. I got it back up to a 2.7. The problem is that the college in my state (idk if its all of them) take out the elective credits and that lowered it back down to a 2.1 or something like that. Which sucks because all the work and effort I put into last year and this year was a waist of time. I seriously had straight A's last year and that still didnt help. So now I have to go to a community college for 2 years and then just transfer my credits over to another school for the next 2 years.

At first I was so pissed but I got over it and now im just excited to start off on the right foot with a clean slate and start learning. My dad on the other hand has decided that there has to be another option (which, trust me, I already looked for and there are none!).

It hurts because he's making me go to another meeting with my counselor so I can hear all over again all the negative things and how I messed up. It hurt my feelings that my dad wont just give me the little pride of "I tried my best to fix it" and let me go live my life.

I'm a very independent person. I am not the kind of person that likes to be told what to do without it having a real meaning. If it doesn't benefit me then I think its a waist of time. I'm just ready to live my life on my own. Move out of the house and just be independent. I cant handle this anymore. They are stressing me out.

Enough about that: The buss leaves at 11:00 for the trip and I start school at 8:00 so that means that I have 3 classes I still need to go to. So me and my friends were going to just go to get some food and then hang out and skip them. My parents shut that plan down.

So yah, im officially stressed the fuck out. Jake hasnt texted me and he kinda ignored me yesterday so whatever. My day was so blah! I woke up and just didnt care so I put on sweat pants and a shirt that matched and went to school. It was such a "I dont give a fuck day."

I had theater stuff to do after school until 4 and then I went with my friend to a pet store. I WANT A PUPPY! haha. Then I came home and passed out on the couch.

I'll try my hardest to get on here with my iPhone tomorrow night. =p BYE!

EDIT: P.s. thanks to mirrorboy for the plug he amazing!!!! It's greatly appreciated!!


on Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Wow. I dont even know where to start. So today I went to school. It was such a weird day. I was having brain farts left and right. My brain didnt want to be in school mood. It was just an odd day. Then I stayed after school to do theater stuff. The jake kid that im rooming with on the trip were going on in 2 days(!) wants to smoke me out tomorrow. For people that done know, that means get me high off his weed. I said no. Cause im sober. =p haha

Anyways I got home and boom. Guess what happened. I got an honesty box comment. (most likely from the same chick as last time). This time it was "everyone thinks your a sexual" and a she asked if i had sex with a boy and if i had sex with a girl. well the question on the box was ill answer any ONE question. So i asked her to pick one and then she went on this rampage harassing me left and right.

While this is all going down my mom, which im guessing is PMS'ing, decides to come into my room and get in a verbal argument that involves me getting mad and her taking all my stuff. Including my phone, car, and my trip.

So I got MAD. I got back onto the honesty box thing and let it rip. Well after a couple hours of back and forth she left me one comment that got her to shut up. She left me a link to my blog (my other one that is not about being gay but just where i rant and stuff) saying that I look like an idiot(there was a video of me lip syncing). Well i logged into my blog. (which is run my wordpress) and i had a little handy tool called statpress that lets me check IP addresses and boom. the URL she pasted into my box was there with a IP Address next to it.

I sent her a screenshot of all her info (well most of it, i blacked out some cause its the internet) and told her to apologize or ill press harassment charges. To tell you the truth all I got was her internet providers info with a contact number to get more information. I think it scared her a bit though so maybe she will stop harassing me. I could technically get it if I tried but why waist my energy.

So my mom still wants nothing to do with me but my dad made her give me my stuff back. So I dont really care lol.

Why Is He So Perfect?!?!?!

on Monday, October 5, 2009
He being Jake. We spent all night last night texting each other while we were both watching desperate housewives haha =p He also posted a status on facebook that I guessed was to me. It was something about how im 2 sided that I'm funny, cute, nice and then on the other side I dont want anything from him. So I made it VERY obvious that I did want more then just a texting buddy.

I kinda touched on this already in my last post but I invited him to see a improve show and he said he "might actually be able to go." thanks hun haha. We are going with a few other people so it wont end up being awkward.

So 3 days till I go on the trip. =p I'm so excited. I get to share a room with 3 other guys. I know 2 of them. One is a senior and is a total tool and then other is a sophomore which has a big ego and is turning into a tool. Both of them know im gay so whatever. The sophomore (his name is jake also) is really fun to make fun of so im going to make sure he feels extra awkward lol

Another honesty box comment guys! (actually i got 2 today but lets talk about this one for today) This one is from a girl:

You are not really gay. You just cannot get a girl, so you call yourself "Gay." When in fact, you are not able to find yourself a guy either.
Yah. Ummm no. First I have girls all over my ass (not to sound conceded or anything but its true). Second I was actually texting Jake (the guy that im interested in and likes me) at the time. Third if she actually knows me then she would know that I like boys, I dont hide it at school at all. Im not even ugly, in fact I get told daily that im attractive. One girl (that is pretty popular) put me on her top 10 hottest guys list at our school (there are over 2,000 guys at our school).

So that kinda set me off a little but I quickly got over it. I really want to know who that girl is though. Just so I could straight up laugh in her face.

Well I'll talk to you all tomorrow!!

Oh The Internet...

on Sunday, October 4, 2009
I love it, but sometimes I want to just shot the person that invented it. Let me explain. Jake sent me an "anonymous" comment on my "honesty box" on facebook. See! You see that right there. You see how dumb I sound? Words can not describe how lame I feel for even writing that down into a sentence. Lets continue... this is what he wrote:

i know this isnt part of the question, but i like you but im not sure where i want this to go! so... i guess we will just find out
What the fuck does that mean?!?! Let me start from the beginning. When you have an honesty box you get to ask a question. So thats why he said it isnt part of the question. I also sent him one a while ago saying that I wanted to get to know him better and that I thought he was attractive. I know it was him because he changed his question right at the same time and it was from a guy. I dont have any other gay friends on facebook that were online at the time he sent it.

I invited him to see a show in two weeks. Im going with 2 other couples so maybe he will get the drift that I DO know where I want this to go lol.

Lazy Sunday... And My Past.

I woke up late, aka I slept in. =p

To my last post: I decided that I can not focus on negative things for a long time. I wrote my feelings down, for the exact reason why I started this blog, to be an open book. I did however post it with rage and not with a clear mind, which was my mistake. Don't get me wrong... I disagree with the law and I think it's stupid. I just can't sit here and stay angry over something that, right now, wont change.

About Jake: He was on vacation so I didnt want to bother him much this weekend. If he texts me then sure but we will see.

My past: Well here is a little history we need to cover before any of the stuff i want to talk about will make sense: I was a party whore. I went out and got waisted every weekend. I did it all the time. The worst part was that it introduced me to weed. I loved weed. I smoked at least once a week. I was VERY responsible about it. It was something that made me happy. I made lot's of friends doing it as well. I stopped partying because I hated it. It was filled with lies and fake personalities. The weed stayed though. I started smoking more and more. It got really bad when I stopped caring about getting caught and I just wanted to smoke. The week my parents found my weed is the week my life was at an all time high (no pun intended). I literally smoked about $100 worth or weed. Thats about 3 times a day: before school, after school, and at night. First I don't regret smoking weed at all. If it wasnt for that week I would probably still be smoking it. The reason I really stopped was not for me, it was for everyone else. It was because I was loosing my best friends. It was because I made my mother cry. It was because I was spending my mothers money.

I've been sober for 6 months. I can't tell you that I'm happy about it but im definitely not sad. I will one day smoke weed again. I plan on getting a medical card for it when I turn 18 and move out. (I have scoliosis. It's a mild case but still...).

Why I told you: I didnt post this so I could be like, "look a the me. im cool cause i smoked week." Not at all. I'm not proud out it and its not something I tell people right away. I just needed to get it out. Dont think of me as a druggie kid. I'm not. I'm clean, nice, attractive, and I care about my body. I'm healthy and I am very motivated in school.

I have to go now but I'll talk to you guys either tonight or tomorrow!

Wtf Is Wrong With This World (AIDS Sucks!)

on Saturday, October 3, 2009
Fist I just finished watching rent.... AIDS SUCKS!!
Second I was just informed by Mr. HCI in one of the comments to one of my posts about that CRAZY, stupid, retarded, fucked up, (you get the point) laws of Nevada.

I can not legally have sex with someone of the same gender but I can with someone of a different gender. WTF! How is that? If I can have sex with a vagina then I can have sex with another man. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE???

That makes me sooo mad. To the point of wanting to go punch someone in the face.

Just Got Out The Shower =p

I love feeling all clean and fresh haha. So today I worked on a few things I had to get done and in a hour or so a few friends are coming over to watch a movie at my house!

Today is Jake's birthday. I texted him this morning saying happy birthday and then he texted back thanks and then I didnt text back. So I guess im playing hard to get... Maybe give him a little taste of his own medicine! Haha. I'm really hoping that we end up together as a couple. =p

So I dont really have any other plans for the rest of the weekend. Its a long weekend so I have sunday and monday left. I'll figure something out. If this was last year I would totally be out partying my ass off. But I dont do that stuff anymore... or as much lol

Next week I'm going out of town. Just me and my school so no parents =p Im not saying why/where sry. It would be like leaving a map haha. So idk how I'll be able to blog. I have my phone but I'm sharing a room with 3 other people so privacy will be hard to get. I'll figure something out.

Well I have to go get ready! Talk to you guys tomorrow!!

Fist Time's, My Day, And Other Stuff!

on Friday, October 2, 2009
How's Everyone Doing?!?! Leave me a cmnt let me know! (yes i care!!)

Anyways... Me and jake are good but this post will be about other stuff. =p So lets talk about first times. Mine sucked. It was a huge mistake. I was sexually frustrated and just had sex with this guy that was like in love with me. Big mistake because first I dislike the kid. He's cool for the first hour but then he starts getting really annoying. I making him seem like a loser. He's not. I'm just really really picky with guys. haha So we drove out to the middle of no-wear and did it. Stupid mistake right? Yes. It didn't mean anything at all. I didnt enjoy it the way I thought I would. He still till this day thinks that there is a change between us, and there IS NO WAY that will ever happen.

My day was ok. I woke up late cause I as watching tv all night. So I was super tired all day. My classes went and passed. Government was funny as always. I swear there are some really really stupid people in this world. Nevada now has domestic partnerships... including gay couples. =p yay for gay rights!!

I was so tired that I ended up just passing out on the couch after I came home. I was going to go get food with a few friends but like i said i passed out. So this friday night sucks. Tomorrow a bunch of friends are coming over to watch a movie. So hopefuly that will change the mood. Jake turns 17 tomorrow =p Even thought we are both seniors im still like almost a year older then him. That also means that when I turn 18 if we have sex its illegal! haha So he better hurry up. lol

Opps... I just talked about jake. Sorry. I cant help it. haha

So tell me about your first time. Was it good or did it suck like mine? haha

Roller Coaster Of Emotions!

on Thursday, October 1, 2009
OMG! Fist thank you all for keeping me sane lol. All my friends tell me I'm over reacting but somehow when I hear it from people that are gay or bi or whatever it means a bit more lol.

So yesterday Jake decided that he was going to stop texting me randomly. So he kinda made me mad at him. No bye no thing. Just stopped. Which I think is pretty rude. So today I told myself, fine. I'm done playing his game. So I didnt worry about him at all. Don't get me wrong I couldnt stop thinking about him but it was not about him not texting me or me not texting him.

Then boom. He just texts me. Yes JUST know lol He makes me so happy!! Why? idk but he does. The best part is its not even a sexual thing. I genuinely like the kid. =p

Wow. All I'm talking about it Jake in this blog. Ok tomorrow is friday and I promise we will change it up. I have a lot of things to talk about with you guys that are not about Jake.

-Love John!