A Week.

on Monday, May 24, 2010
Do you care about my life? Because I don't. Im done. I havnt gone to school for more then 4 hours in the past week. I havn't done any homework or work at all. Im done i guess. I dont know what to do. I have a meeting tomorrow and I havn't finished the work I needed to finish. FUCK. I get mad just thinking about it all.

I have to pick up my dad from the airport today at 11pm. That's in a few hours. My mom is still out there. She wont be making it to my graduation. IF I end up graduating thanks to absences and my F in English. Yah... I checked out a month ago. Hopefully I do good on the final and pass the class. OR IM FUCKED. lol

So what has happened in the past weeks? Lots. I got a facial and she went to hard and now my face looks like it slid across asphalt. We had thespian awards night and I got: "best thespian" and "best publicist" oh and "shining star" yah. whatever lol

I'm treating youtube as a job this summer. Taking a break after this last project. I feel like its something I really want to do before school starts.

Im so behind everything in life. I need a vacation. NOW. asdaks

Finals start Thursday then i have Friday and Monday off and my last 2 finals Tuesdays. Wednesday is graduation rehearsal and im DONE. It's kinda sad but whatever. Life moves on.

I have this friend and I've grown to care about her and then she makes stupid decisions and it hurts me because she doesn't see them and when I bring it up I look like an asshole.

Thats whats up guys. Do you guys still care?! Fuck. I'm so fucking over everything. I want to move on in life.

I have 6 pages of math I need to do and a website to finish and im watching TV and blogging. Yah. Im done lol

Good news? June 8th im taking a well deserved vacation. Yes. LA here I come. I have decided that I'm "coming out" here soon. My real name. My real pictures (not that i have fake pictures. prom pic was real lol). My real everything. I'll even link you to my youtube where I will be doing video blogs so you can stalk me down and rape me. Yah. I dont care anymore haha. Here's my address: yah. thats not happening.


Anonymous said...

Man, I don't know what to make of this. Some of it sounds way up and some of it sounds way, way down. I can't figure it out. I'm confused. I hope YOU can figure it out and turn things around so it's all positive and you can go on to the rest of your life.

John Doe said...

@Brian: yah. thats exactly how i feel. lol that was a great summary.

HMG said...

Well I think you really need to just focus currently, well i guess partially, on getting through high school. get it over with so you do not have to worry about it biting you in the back later in life. I know it is really hard to concentrate, just think that if you make it through this you have made it through, lets say the worst sex of your life with one of the better looking people you have fucked, but since it took 4 years your orgasm was amazing.
After that you have college which looks a lot better is a lot kinkier. You have however many years of that you are taking in community college, unless you do a transfer thing, until your next amazing orgasm, but this one is just crazy and mind blowing. So look forward to that giantly amazing orgasm and pass HS.
Also congratulations on your wins, I hope you take some acting and media classes in college or major in that because that will be mostly likely be the best thing for you, you seem to really like those types of work.
Well it will be fun to see you when you decide to fully unveil yourself (you better hotter than you look in your prom pic in your YouTube videos, jk).
I really hope you get the energy to work hard and pass your final year of HS,

jon said...

@HMG - that was creepy.

Dude, you need to talk to someone. A friend, a counselor, an adult, your dad? ...the sooner the better.

Sometimes life gets like this. Sometimes we can't handle the crap on our own and one way we deal with it is to just shut down. You're shutting down.

You gotta make it through this next week, do well on your exams, etc. Please, please talk to someone. (not the girl you described above) but someone that has their crap together and can help you. Be honest with your dad (if you haven't been) about your grades. Get it out there, come clean. At some point, life will feel like it's getting better.

You do care. Proof that you really do care is that you wrote your blog post. You're just tired. Ask for help.

jon said...

@HMG sorry, I understand what you mean now. Just the sex/orgasm comparrison threw me off. I'm sure you're not a creeper. Again, sorry dude.

Planetx_123 said...

I can vouch that HMG is not a "creeper" lol :-)

Anyways Sorry John Doe about your troubles. Probably to be expected when thre is so much going on in your life right now.

You have some nice things to look forward to tho!


Anonymous said...

John, some good comments here. Yah you NEED to talk this thru with someone who is more than arm's length - NOT family, NOT friends who are affected by your decisions. Find someone you feel you can trust and just pour it all out. Get their honest feedback.

From my perspective reading your blog, you have gone thru some emotional roller-coaster times and need to chill and see how it really affects your life, not just in the immediate time. Get yourself thru HS, graduate and be done with it.

As for outing your identity - just your real first name and some pics would be fine. Too many real freaks out there who would be hazardous to you. From just the info you have already posted here, getting your last name means getting your address and phone numbers - no shit that is the easiest thing to scam on the internet, as there are multiple data bases with that stuff which can be parsed with little or no effort.

Be safe John. Think all of it thru, but not when you are tired or bummed out, bad decisions happen then. You're way too smart and talented to waste any of it.


wayner said...

Of course we care John. Maybe too many things going on right now and the death in your family is upsetting. Avoiding school is a mistake; forget everything else for the next few weeks until finals are completed. Work on the English or say hello to summer school to get that diploma. As much as you may not like it, it is best to accept some self-dicipline to make it through some tough situations. Forget your social life until exams are done; it is just a few weeks. I know what it's like; I've been there too going through the educational process. Don't forget the alternative is BEING POOR lol!
-Keep personal info private because of all the scammers and cons on the Internet, but I think the 'stalker' thing is way overblown lol. You still have a sense of humor though and that is good. Finish up hs and plan logically and rationally for the future; some good times ahead. bfn - Wayne (hugs)

Anonymous said...

I agree - talk.

And prioritise.

One sheet of paper on the wall with SCHOOL in huge letters and then everything else - anything else - underneath.


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