So other then thinking way to much I haven't done much with my life. I guess thats what summer is for right? Doing nothing. I really needed this break. Vacation time is my time and I love it. Remember how I said I was going to Israel soon? Yah well soon got sooner.
My flight is on the 28th at 6:40am. Its a 17 hour flight total with a stop in NJ. The stop is only an hour and a half so its not that bad. Basically just get my luggage and move it to the next flight and maybe grab a coffee then head onto the flight. I will be there for around 2 weeks.
I wen't shopping the other day. I got a bunch of shorts, shirts, and shoes. I still need to go get some socks and boxers still because I'm running short lol I'm hopping that Israel doesn't turn out the way i'm expecting it to. You know... boring. If anything I'm just going to go to the beach and do nothing all day then just go out alone to a club or something. Idk. We will see.
I keep thinking about the people I went on the trip with. Do they even slightly regret what they did? Do they even think about it? Are they mad at me? There are times when I just want to go "fuck you you ignorant piece of shits I thought were my friends" to their faces. I don't really care much for being friends with them. It's kind of just like a bad breakup except with 3 people rather then one. You have all these memories, inside jokes, songs you sang together, all these firsts that you experienced together, some of the best moments of your life that happened with them and then all of a sudden they are completely gone. Forever. Not even a good bye.
I gained like 6 pounds so far this summer. I think I have picked up this trait where im eating my feelings lol I need to start working out again. I have just been in this shitty mood because of this whole thing. Some nights are really awesome and some are really shitty.
I could call other people and talk to them and hang out with them but I just don't want to. I don't trust people. I'm just not at the point where I can talk to a person without feeling like everything I say to them needs to have a filter to it. Well... other then you guys.
Well... thats about it. I'm going to go now. I'll blog while I'm in Israel for sure so I'm not going to be gone for long. Alright. I'll talk to you guys soon. Bye.
3 comments:
I hope you have a great time on your trip to Israel. I will be watching for your posts from there and will be interested to hear how things go. Forget those 'friends' here for the two weeks you are gone. Don't let thoughts of them interfere with what you will be doing on your trip. Good luck and have a safe journey.
In the old days, the tv conking out was a crisis; today not having a computer is the end of your life lol. I do love the ability to look up anything I want to know on Google, and being able to find and order some weird part, component or consumer item that I can't get locally.
-Yeah, enjoy your vacation in Israel; being from Vegas you will be used to the hot weather. Watch your diet and get any excess weight off; you're a gay guy! You should have an exercise routine too. When you get back you should really cultivate some gay male friendships; don't let the back-stabbing by the shallow ex-girl friends take that away from you. Making real friends in your teens and twenties is important cos friends (the kind you can confide in) are harder to find as you get past middle age. Btw, all you are expected to do with your life at your age is to complete your education, so relax and have some fun cos you will be doing lots with your life when someday you are working 8hrs a day! Enjoy your trip. bfn - Wayne :)
AWW Kid... I hope the trip gives you the time to decompress that you need... Your disappointment with your exfriends is palpable, and I feel sad for your loss... I can only say, in the way of comfort, that this change will open the door to other friends to enter your life, if you allow... Now is the time to move on. I suspect it is also the strategy of Shelby et al. I hope that you don't feel so lonely that you cede your happiness back to the people that caused all this pain. You are turning a page, like lots of kids your age! It's better to let go, and move on, to happier places and times... I wish you well, kid!! luv, tman<3 hugs2!!
Post a Comment