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on Tuesday, July 6, 2010
So this was my thoughts two days ago lol here you go:

Well… I haven't blogged in a while. I don't have much privacy or time so it doesn't really work out. Like I can type at night in my room but there is no connection here to post it. Oh well…

So here is how its going. Im kind of over it. Israel is fun and all but it doesn't feel like a vacation. I'm living with a family who just lost a husband/dad to cancer. Im going with them to do all the family stuff and its just like I am doing things for them. Like the other day I fixed her videos of him. Today we went and looked at cars that she needs to get because she is getting rid of his car. We went and got dinner and the little kid is crying and she is all depressed. Its not fun after a while…

The my little cousin (he is 4) is really cute but kids really get to me. The cry and cry and get what they want. They are rude and disrespectful and always end up getting what they want. It's absurd. Then again I know. He is a little kid but still. It gets annoying to have to sit in the middle of the freeway for 20min because the kid starts crying.

Like my mom promised me it wouldn't be this way. I told her I only wanted to do 3 things. Be on the beach drinking a beer at sunset, get shwarma (a type of food), and get ice cream at this place that is my favorite. Everyday she promises me the same thing and every day we get stuck doing shit that my aunt needs to do. Literally like im just stuck here for the ride of her family.

Oh and don't you tell me they have it worse. I know they do but its not like my family is better know. Think of the facts: my dad and mom haven't been in the same place for over 3 months now. My mom left and my brother still hansn't seen her in those 2 months. I have seen her but for 14 days then I leave and I don't get to see my dad or brother for another month. Like we all can't be in the same place and see each other. Its impossible.

I feel like everything is going downhill and its scares me. Everything was so good. I'm ready for the end of this roller coaster…

i want a boyfriend and friends that I can consider TRUE friends. I want to be happy again. but how? idk. im just ready for this to be over right now.

tomorrow is going to be different. at least thats what my mom promised. breakfast on the beach. lets see how that one ends up going…

10 days of israel left.

p.s. i deleted danika off Facebook. she posted in this group message about how i was in israel. I got so angry. How dare she say my name. Who the hell does she think she is. And speak for me?!?! go to hell.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you are not having much fun on your trip. I hope that turns around for the rest of your stay.

It's too bad about the family member that died. It will be a good while before they can recover from that.

Your family situation doesn't sound very great at the moment. I hope it can settle down some soon and you can all be together for a while.

And I hope you can find some true friends, and one special one.

Anonymous said...

oh boy... you sound pretty upset, and, you know, I'd probably feel the same way as you, given the same circumstances... I've been on 'vacations' where I feel trapped, and, they're no fun... So, what do you do?? I guess that you'll have to try to block out some of the negativity, as best you can... You already know why the family is so upset... It probably wasn't the best idea for your mom to bring you for this long of a stay... What do they say, tho... your reward will be in heaven!! IDK kid- I think you have to 'man up' the best you can... lemonade from lemons, and all those cliches...Can't you get away with some kids your age?? I thought there was the potential for that... Anything to get out of the house... Talk to your mom and insist that you get some time away from the stressful conditions, at least for a bit, every day... Hang in there, kid!! luv, tman<3

wayner said...

Vacations have their ups and downs too but you should put yourself out a bit to cheer them up and help them get over the worst of it. I did a lot of babysitting for my 4yr old nephew so I know how frustrating it can be when they get in a tantrum mood lol. But what a joy they are when they want to play and are so full of life. Kids get bored easily and have a different sense of time, but having some fun with him really turns it around.
-Your family will be back together again soon after helping out with this difficult time for your aunt, so make the best of it for now. As for a boyfriend and true friends, you have the rest of the summer to look around, and then school in the fall will present new prospects. Relax and don't worry about friends so much; they will be a part of your life soon enough. bfn - Wayne :)

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