Mother I Cant Get Married & You Know That!

on Saturday, December 26, 2009
Yesterday was one of the first days I wasnt to say that to her when she brought up my future. The sad part was she did it in front of my entire extended family. Wait lets me clarify, my entire, religious, family. Yup. Here is the story:

We went out last night to my aunts house for shabbat dinner. For you non-jews that is a dinner every friday night where we celebrate the 7th day of rest God took. Im not religious at all but my family is a tad and the fact that all the extended family is in town for a Bar Mitzvah just gave my Aunt the opportunity to have a full fledged dinner. This included prayer, more prayer, eating, drinking (yah... we jews drink lol), then more prayer! In between all of the fun festivities my mother found a way to throw out this wonderful sentence: "Yup, he is getting older. Next college and marriage..." Which i responded quickly with the fact that there is a long time before that is going to happen. Then the family threw more comments on the subject like: "Your probably being classed by tons of girls!" To which I replied: "Yah, but dont worry. I'm running pretty fast!"

Let me tell you my mom wasnt liking what she got herself into. The fact that she had to throw it out there to make it seem like I was straight was hurtful. I wouldnt care as much if it was meant to protect me but it truly wasnt. It was her way of making herself look better but not having a gay son. So I latter went up to her when there were less people around and had a nice conversation with her:

ME: "What was all that about?" (not in a angry tone at all)
MOM: " What are you talking about?"
ME: "Marriage?"
MOM: "We were talking about your future I didnt mean now."
ME: "I cant get married and you know that."
MOM: "Ok. Ok. stop talking not this again."
ME: "Listen I tont have to tell you this more then once. Im not embarrassed by who I am and I dont really care if you are. You dont throw we under the buss to make yourself look better."
MOM: "I dont want to talk about this."

What a fucking wonderful mother I have guy!! I am tempted to go to the bar mitzvah in a shirt that says "I FUCK BOYS!" See how she likes that statement. "No mom, i was just talking about the future."

The night went on and I got some whisky in my system. I hate when people take shots of whisky! Who the hell takes shots of whisky?? The party is at 7pm so I'm going to go start my day before I need to start getting ready. Bye guys!

8 comments:

Jason Carwin said...

Sorry that your mom said something that made her seem insensitive. it really hurts when it feels like your family isn't thinking about you or is rejecting who you are. I know my dad always talks about how wonderful having kids is compared to simply adopting. Of course, this makes me feel like shit.

btw, is Judaism supportive of homosexuality or against it?

billy said...

If she says it often enough, and loudly enough, she'll believe it. "It's just a phase he's going through."

Don't worry, it's just a phase SHE'S going through. She's been through denial and anger. She's into bargaining now, "I don't mind if he is a little bit gay now, so long as he eventually finds a nice girl and settles down." Eventually depression will come, then ... finally ... acceptance.

Grieving for the son she never got is a long and painful process.

Octavius said...

Dude that really sucks.

Your mum sounds like she needs a reality check.

Courage and Honour!

Octavius.

John Doe said...

Jason Carwin: simple answer is no. Judaism is a lot like christianity. It is only the first testament though.

billy: thanks a lot for that comment. it helpd me see it threw her eyes. =p

Octavius: hell yes she does!! lol

Dzyan said...

Well I hope you had a good party, and sorry to tell you but "I fuck boys!" shirts don´t go well into formal events, I´ve tried.

I would´ve just openly stated to everyone, Oh, but I don´t like girls, but you should see the hunky jocks that chase me.

Wish you more patience for your mom, although she might act all insensible and shit. Sides religion is overated.

Love
Me

John Doe said...

Dzyan: yah. i just went with a formal look. lol thanks for wishing me patience haha

Sam said...

Hey Buddy!
I've been in these shoes for so long now but it hasn't been until lately that I have been able to tell my mom that having a wife and kids might not be something she'd see me doing...
(by the way, she and dad have no clue at all that I am not straight... I don't think they will find out any soon)
My mom always talks about how eager she is to see my future family... and this kinda hurt me..
she told me that today actually and I told her: "This might not happen, mom!"
She was like "yeah, I know, I might die before that happens..."
and then I'd be like "No not because of that, but because I actually fuck boys, mom! lol" (of course I never told her that; I simply said that no one knows what happens in life; I might simply never find the right one for me and remain a bachelor.... something crappy of that sort.

at least you're lucky enough, dude, to tell ur mom what's on ur mind (to some extent though)
I wonder when would parents stop attempting to live their children's lives and mind their own lives...
they think they're helping, right?
I wish they know how we feel about their comments...

Best of luck man!

John Doe said...

@Confused Yet Honest: I think that our parents think that by throwing these comments out they are changing us or something and all they are truly doing is hurting us. There isnt much we can do but tell them how much it hurts.

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