E-Mail. (no crazy title but good post)

on Monday, January 11, 2010
I have been e-mailing a new friend a lot lately and he has been making me think about life. I sent him an e-mail that I'm going to share with you. Keep in mind I was a bit pissed off at the time I wrote it. Also it was meant to be private but I have decided that if im sharing my life with you then I might as well share it all:

I was being a total bitch to my mom today. I guess its my way of making her feel bad instead of telling her im mad. Its going to sound stupid but ill tell you whats up. She is being lazy. Really really lazy. She stopped going to work (she runs a couple booths) so she isnt making the sales that she usually makes on top of what the employee's are making (which isnt much because they dont care) and the economy sucks so that isnt helping either. So she stopped going because she is bored of it. IM FUCKING BORED OF SCHOOL YOU DODNT SEE ME COMPLAINING EVERY 5 SECONDS! Thats not even that big of a deal. Its the fact that all she does is sit on her lazy ass all day and watch tv and then when i get home and ask for a home cooked meal she starts complaining about how I always ask her for food and she is sick of cooking and then I just end up going to subway or something.

This probably sounds like I have no respect for her and i shouldn't judge my mom but thats just it. I lost the respect for her. I cant see how a mother sits at home and does nothing because she is sick of working and then complains about how hard everything is. Fuck. She went on vacations left and right last year and I was stuck at home working my ass off during summer taking extra classes and I didnt say ONE word. Yes (NAME), I do see school as work. It doesnt bring in an income but it will one day and the fact that she is just lazy makes her seem like a bad mother to me.

I just dont get it. Get off your ass and go work. I dont give 2 shits how bored or sick of it you are. The sad part is that she would say the same thing to me if I was the one who was sick of school. Yah I guess that sounded childish and immature but fuck. Im 17 im aloud to sound that way sometimes right?
So analyze me. Am I right? Wrong? Disrespectful? Smart? Have at it.


Octavius said...

Pretty fair comments to be honest.


Anonymous said...

I think some of the comments are fair but maybe you need to take a step back and think about things from her perspective ... she has an obligation to provide for you - a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly - if she can meet those basic needs and keep you safe, it's not your job to in turn assess how those basic needs were delivered. If you want/need luxury or more than she can give, you are probably old enough to go out and make that happen through part time work, etc. Try not to forget the commitment that has made by having a child, it's a lifetime of sometimes subordinating your hopes, dreams, goals, money, time, etc for the benefit of another human being. Sometimes that burden is just downright exhausting. My suggestion - maybe try whipping up a home cooked meal and serving it to her every once in a while, or taking care of some things that weigh her down like laundry or shopping or cleaning or whatever.

Just my 2 cents

Anonymous said...

Not bad suggestions in general, goleft. I get kinda pissed off though, when a parent decides not to prepare any meals and a guy has to go out and eat takeout. Even if there's tons of money around to do that, sometimes it might be a critical point in a guy's life to sit and connect with family over a meal. Somehow, the way JD describes it, that hot meal wasn't an excessive luxury, just something as part of 3 squares a day from his mom.

Just a thot.

Steevo said...

she may be depressed. ask her. tell her u r pissed and concerned. it may be lazy, but if she used to do stuff and keep busy, it may be depression which is a medical condition like the flu. it is way more common in winter. short daylight hours.

ask her to go for a walk with you. exercise helps.

can u cook at all? like boil hot dogs, get potato salad all made at the grocerey store, they have mixed greens for salad. boil some frozen peas or beans. read and follow directions very carefully. it is not rocket science ffs.

my hubby and i both cook... basic life skill.

Do the best u can. Tell her ahead of time that you r gonna cook cuz u LIKE meals together.

Or frozen fried chicken you just bake. set timers. dont do pizza unless she really likes it. aim for an adult balanced meal.

it might get her going. worst thing is u get some decent food. ask her to teach u to cook? if she is good at it... or even ok and knows how...


just some random thots.

sounds rough. but at 17...

maybe it is time to relate to her more as an adult offspring rather than her little boy.

if u r off to uni etc soon and u r last kid at home... that is huge for a mom. tells her she is old. its a woman thing.

contact me some way if u wanna chat


at 17 u can assert yerself as an adult.

John Doe said...

@Octavius thank you =p

@goleftatthefork im not sure you read me right. its not the luxuries and the things she needs to do for me its more the lack of effort and the fact that even though she does nothing (we have a maid for the cleaning and all. so cant help out with much if i wanted to) she makes no effort to do the little things that matter. Which makes me mad. The work thing just made me notice the whole situation. Again I was ticked off when I wrote that e-mail so i might have used the right words at the time.

@ceepeeca that is something i love. Even when family is just cooking they are down stairs and interacting with me. Whether it be me helping or even her just sitting and watching tv with me while she is cooking. The fact that she isnt on her own doing nothing and cares enough to be around me is a big thing.

@Steevo i will talk to her. she might be depressed. Thanks for the advice! =p

Post a Comment