So that brings me to another subject. Acting straight. I find that after I came out of the closet (to the friends) I started to let my true personality out. A.K.A. acting gay. Im not one of those feminine guys. Hell no im not. I would definitely be the guy in the relationship, but I am still gay and it shows. So when family is around I tend to, instinctually, try to act straight. You know, have a deeper voice. Use less "gay" words like "omg!" Stuff like that. It is not something im proud of. Its kind of homophobic in itself. Inside I still feel like I need to hide who I am to be accepted by other. Even if those "others" are the family I see once in 5 years.
So my message is this. I dont need to act straight for others to accept me. I am who I am and there is NOTHING wrong with it. My parents dont like the fact that I'm gay. In fact I think they hate it. We dont speak about it and she still tries to hook me up with girls. Its not the end of the world. IM GAY IM HERE AND I LOVE MYSELF!
I think that is the true meaning of coming out. When you can say that out load. I think im finally at that step. Im John. Im 17. Oh yah, and, I fuck boys. =p
6 comments:
well good for you! Im glad that you can proclaim that. I do the same thing-- i think we all do-- instinctively act different to deal with different scenarios. Sure it would be great to not have to do that...but cest le vie.
Good luck!
Steve
Planetx_123 glad to hear im not alone lol
Good for you. I read somewhere that theres no need to come out. i read that people make it a big deal when coming out is not. But I think its imporant. Its a process. my family thinks i like girls. but my frieds know how i am. Have a good christmas and a good holiday whereever you are.
Anonymous: thank you very much =p i agree with you that its a process!
JDOE: Good blog. I am a teacher on vacation... out... high school] Just sampling newer blogs cuz I have been here like 20 months. I like your sarcasm and sometimes snotty attitude. It's both funny and useful. Good defense really. Give mom time... seems she will come around. She hasta get used to the idea. And you CAN get legally married in several STATES. And here in cali we have rabbis do same sex ceremonies too!
btw re: "Im not one of those feminine guys. Hell no im not. I would definitely be the guy in the relationship, but I am still gay and it shows."
---alert--- stereotype. We have many gay friends/couples who are neither overly masculine or "fem" feminine. Not all gay couples have someone to be fem and the other not. We have real diversity in our family. Try not to fall into the "damn fem gay bois make us 'regular" queers suspect" trap.
There is room for many diverse people in our fam. There does not have to be a gay NORM that some queers easily measure up to and some others not so much. Leather, preppy, fem, flannel shirts and levis... there is room for all.
OK laterz....
good work...
steevo in cali
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So mom has stereotypes but maybe you do too.
Steevo: that statement was meant more to show that im not the obvious gay guy. I know there isnt always a guy and girl relationship. i have meet tons of gay guys that are just guys and thats what I was trying to convey.
Thanks for the kind words on my blog! It meant a lot. I know I cant get married in 5 states and all but still. 45 > 5 if you get what im saying lol
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