Gay Club. Number's and Friends.

I've been so busy lately. I actually went out the night I posted the last blog. I went to this gay club on the strip. It was so much fun! I got to dance my ass off and was sweating so much but it was worth it. By the end of the night this guy gave me his number and told me he thought I was cute and to "text him" what ever happened to the iconic "call me" line. Kid's these days. lol Well I did text him but to tell you the truth is that if he doesn't make a move nothing is going to happen. I'm not in the mood for a boyfriend right now. I'm just going to be single for now. As far as a friend. Sure! but I'm also not really in the mood for friends right now. lol

You see, I have been working a lot and I love it. My job is really the best one I could ask for in this part of my life. The people that work with my are AMAZING! They are nice and funny and smart. Which is great. Like I said before. It's a fun job and I love it. One of those where I'm pushing myself to get better and better with each day. So far I have been balancing that work/friend thing pretty well. Which means that when I start school soon I will need to juggle work/school and kick out my friends. Which is ok, I'll make do. Education is important to me.

I just woke up from a bad dream a couple hours ago. It was with the girl from the LA trip. For whatever reason she was in it. Her face, her voice, her attitude, and her in general. It sickened me. I wasn't mad that my other friend had "set me up" in the dream so that she would show up. I wasn't hurt like I felt after the trip. It was more of a feeling of disgust. Like she disgusted me. As if someone who killed someone just walked in the room and started high 5'ing people about it. I was repulsed by her presence in my dream. So I woke up and my first thought is "why am I thinking about her" and my second was "because im hanging out with my other friends that hang out with her." Since Lesbian has been in town there has been mentions of the girl in my dream left and right. I really had forgotten about her existence until that point. I didn't care about what has happened to her or if she was still alive. So it's bothering me know that she is now taking over my dream.

So what do I do? First thought was, I need to cut people out more. I love lesbian but if hanging out with her is doing me harm then I need to prioritize my time with her more. Second thought was, fuck people, I just want to be isolated today. You see, I was supposed to hang out with lesbian today. I'm not feeling up to it though. I'm in a pretty off mood after this whole morning. I'm just going to sit in bed all day and watch tv. I'm not in any mood to deal with this bullshit.

As far as moving out of my parents house. It's still happening. I have enough to live ok. I have to budget myself a little but I can make do. It's $500 rent which is good. I'm going to be living with a co-worker that works at a separate store then mine. He is a really cool guy and we have a blast hanging out the few times before and after work that we did. So I'm excited about it all going down. As far as I know now, its still a month or so away from happening. I need to save some more money first. Which is ok with me.

Rekindling Friendships and Making New One's

Graduating high school does a lot to you. You grow up a lot. I grew up even more working in the "real world" and earning "real money" and paying my "bills." Not saying that I'm mature and can handle every situation. I know that there are things that I depend on my parents to help me with still. I also know that I have matured more then I expected. All the people that used to "matter in high school" really don't matter now. All of this bullshit seem's to go away. The phrase "it gets better" is REAL. People who were once popular are know just being called fucking annoying. So when you get together with friend from high school that are now in college its funny to see how we have all changed. How people are relaxed and not super annoying. Or how immature and stupid they still are haha

That being said I have been hanging out with a ton of friends from high school that I haven't seen in a while. It is so much fun seeing that these people are so chill now. Some I am sure are fucking annoying still but I'm not hanging around them... and I dont want to find out if they are haha

I actually starting talking to one of my old best friends. Me and him where really close friends back in sophomore year of high school and then we went our separate ways because some shit went down. We hung out yesterday and the night before and I really noticed how much fun it was to have him around. Like he is so chill and I forgot how much I missed him as a friend. So I'm glad we are getting to hang out again. He is moving back to vegas so we will be hanging out together more often im sure. =p

Yesterday I went shopping with that friend, lesbian, her lesbian friend, and a new friend of mine. lol We all went to the new H&M that opened up here and then ate some food. I got these really sexy funny underwear. They look like jean short shorts but they are underwear. lol It's pretty funny. I also got a new shirt for tonight. We are going to the gay club thing. I'm really excited. =p

I'm in one of those really lazy tired moods lol I hope I get more awake and excited for tonight. If not its totally going to blow! lol

ALSO! I might be moving out soon. I'll let you all know about that in a future post.

What have I been up to?

Well work. Lots of it. I also got to hang out with my friends a lot. So I'll tell you all about that.

I have this new friend. He is straight. My friends and even his parents question it but I'm familiar with the type and he is straight. Not to say he couldn't one day love a man. I'm sure he would be more open to it they my other straight friends but at this point in his life if he doesn't end up forming a special bond he is looking for girls.

We have been hanging out more and more. We went out to the hookah lounge one night which was so much fun. I can have like really good conversations with him and its not about video games or stupid shit. lol We all hung out one night. It was me, him, and three other friends that are back for winter break from college. We just sat around then got food and then sat around some more. lol It was fun though. I missed my friends that were away so much! lol We also hung out last night. It was him, two other friends of ours, and me. Which was fun.

Other then that I have been working. I have a bunch of friends that are coming home from college for winter break so I'm super excited to hang out with all of them. I also have no idea what I'm doing for new years eve and I feel like its going to suck because I never go to any big parties unless we plan one and I'm in no way up to that right now. lol I'll figure something out though.

This friday is the 18+ gay club. I'm so excited. I think its going to be a big group of girls and me. Which is fine. Dont bring a boy find one there is my on going rule in life haha. I actually had work that day but I found someone to cover that shift for me so it's all good. Speaking of work... I have work in a few hours. so I need to actually get ready.

I'm hanging out with a few friends tonight also so we will see how that goes. =p I'll blog soon. I'm trying to make this a priority but other things keep getting in the way.

My Blog Got Some Botox!

So here is the brake down of the new stuff:

1) I obviously changed the theme a little. I really like it but I'm still going to go ahead and play with it just a little bit. Add a logo and such.

2) I added my twitter which will display the last 5 tweets and replies to my tweets so you can follow any conversations if you want. If you want to follow me on twitter my username is @sinceyoutweet. I usually update there daily most of the time more then once a day. So its a good addition to this blog when I start lacking on the actual posts.

3) I'm adding a new section on the right with posts that have been monumental to me and my life that have been documented. More for me then anything to be able to go back and read things that have changed my life or things that have impacted me till this very day. So If your a newer reader on my blog that would be a great starting point to catch up and really get to know me. =p

4) I know that most of my page views (which to tell you the truth I haven't checked in months) come from my friends that link to this blog. Which is why I'm slow to go ahead and delete the links. So for know I'm going to change those and if you guys have an suggestions or would like to be added to the list then I would love to go ahead and do that. Just leave me a comment!

5) I have posted my picture on this blog once or twice. To tell you the truth I'm not that scared to put it out there. The only reason it's not is because I like you guys to use your imagination and not have the way I look interfere with my actual life and my blog. Which for those who comment and care about my blog most likely wont be an issue but you can definitely see where I'm coming from right? So from now I'll be posting some pics here and there of me and I will be actually changing my icon sooner or latter to my actual picture.

So now to the blogging:

Today was one of those days off that totally doesn't feel like a day off. I actually had a meeting with a client that wants me to go ahead and start a social marketing plan for his online site. Which I'm pretty good at so I accepted. This will be until I start school in the spring.

Speaking of school. I signed up for 3 out of 5 classes for spring semester. The other 2 were full and I need to wait till they reset the classes and throw out the people who didnt pay. Which is sometime int he beginning of January. So around next month.

I got out of work 20 min early and on the way home I stopped at a gay bar and met my friends that were there already. It is always fun to go out but some gay guys are total snobs. lol There was this married guy that added me on facebook from another night I was there. He was like "why are you single?!?" and "your such a tease!" lol he was super waited but he told me he was going to hook me up with a guy. So I'm not going to complain about it but I doubt he remembers me even being there last night. I wasn't there for long. Maybe 20 mins and then they left so I did as well. I wanted to grab a drink but I was driving so I knew that it was a bad idea. Next week is the 18+ gay club thing. I really hope I dont work and can go because last time I went I had to leave early and it really sucked cause I was having such a good time.

So other then that all the gay stuff. My day today was pretty blah. I wanted a friend to come over and smoke some hookah but that didnt end up happening. I also have this strong urge to film another short film which I might be doing this coming month. So yah.

I need to start saving money. This is going to be a great year guys. I'm talking about 2011. Get ready to take over the world!! haha WE ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

"yes, I would die for you baby but you wont do the same." - bruno mars.

I'm not dead... haha

To tell you the truth I'm just putting the blog off. Which isnt right. I guess I should share with you all the shenanigans I have been threw. The only thing is ever since I got hired its basically all I do and I cant talk about my work because I rather just not even mention it. It's one of those companies that rather you just not even talk about your job. So I'm going to respect that and keep it that way.

I can tell you that this past month has been some of the most exciting for me. I got a lot to tell you guys about and I guess I rather just summarize it then to just start blogging about past events.

I got to see some of my old friends that left out of the city for college. They came back for thanksgiving which was fun. We hung out and stuff. Speaking of thanksgiving. We actually went to a really good restaurant at the Paris hotel. So good. =p I got to work Black Friday which was fun but not as busy as I expected. I also expected it to be SUPER crazy so that could be why.

I went shopping the other day and bought like a TON of jeans and clothes and stuff. Fun =p

If you forgot, I'm Jewish, and its currently Hanukah. My parents usually dont get us gifts. Which to tell you the truth usually bums me out. Not because of the actual present but rather the thought that they actually think of something that would make me happy and surprise me. It could just be me but the holidays always just bum me out. My family doesnt really go all out and I'm the type that really loves going all out.

I'm going to give this blog a facelift soon and start blogging more often. We will see how this goes on. For now I'm going to go. I'll be back soon. Sooner then last time... haha

So life has been...

Pretty good. I'm starting to get situated into my new job. I'm enjoying it a lot. I quite the H&M job because the Apple one is giving me more hours and is more enjoyable. I wouldn't have started working at H&M till next week anyways and like I said... I could only work maybe 2 days a week at H&M and they wanted at least three. Which wouldn't work out.

Social life is suckish. I've been out to a couple parties but I haven't done much since halloween. it literally sucks. My friends who are in college out of las vegas call me and we talk and they are having the time of their lives and I'm sitting here doing nothing. I'm going to sign up for classes for this coming semester in a couple days. I just wont get to have much of a social life. I kind of want to just go to an out of state school and enjoy college but idk. Right now my job is keeping me here.

As of right now I'm still single. I got laid the other day but it was just meaningless sex. haha I'm not a whore. I dont do it all the time with random people. I just get horny some times. lol

They did the gay club again yesterday but I didn't know about it till this morning when I saw people talking about it on facebook. I might have gone but I got off work at like 7pm and idk if I would drive home from the strip and then drive back out there. I'm running low on gas anyways.

I got my paycheck the other day. I got a case for my iPhone to celebrate haha. I'm in a little bit of a rut but not a bad one. Work makes me happy and thats what I'm doing the most of. Anyways. I'll talk to you guys soon. I want to change up the look of this blog but I'm lazy right now lol I'll have to get around to it.

Bye!

Hello Blogger.

I dont know what to do with this blog. As much as I want to blog every day I dont and that's just a fact. So I'm either thinking of starting a new blog and saving this one as is or just blogging whenever. Which will be like twice a month.

To tell you the truth I'm emotionally drained in the best way possible. I am having some of the best learning experiences at my new job as well as meeting some awesome people. My job at Apple has been enriching and exciting and every day I get to go to work I love it more and more!

As of now I'm still in the same boat: I'm single. I'm enjoying my life as much as possible. I'm having fun.

I need to sign up for classes to start school on tuesday. I really don't want to to tell you the truth. I rather wait till the next year rather then start mid-year but hey. It's school. I really do just want to graduate and get it out of the way. I need the degree to get a higher job and thats what I'm aiming for.

So thats about it. I could go into detail but I feel as if no one reads my blog anymore and I'm super tired. My whole body is. It's dying for some rest haha. Well I'm going to go and head to bed. I have work tomorrow lol

Yikes. Its been a while... sorry.

I've been so busy with this new job and working on projects that keep coming back to haunt me. It's been crazy every time we say we are done they come back with more stuff to add or fix. Blahh. Other then that my new job is working for Apple. I'm going threw training now. I don't want to say anything more then the fact that I love it and so far it has been an amazing experience. My other job is at H&M and I dont start until November and its seasonal so its only 2 months part time. Which is perfectly fine as long as they work around my Apple schedule.

So what didn't I talk about? My Reno trip! Yah I went up to reno for a weekend at it was so much fun. Other then the the flights. The first one I missed and the one home was delayed and I flew threw a storm. It was so scary but in a exciting OMG kind of way haha

I'm running short of cash and I need a paycheck soon or else im screwed. The apple job is going to require tons of gas which sucks. So is the H&M job lol I just plucked my own eyebrows rather then spending 20$ to get them waxed. They dont look as good but times are tough lol

I'm going to try and re-start my metabolism because I'm working out hard and not loosing any more weight. So hopefully a boot camp style diet for a month will help. Only chicken and salad. Turkey sandwich's are ok but whole wheat bread and light mayo.

I start my first day of in store training tomorrow and I'm excited for that. =p

Umm what else? I'm going to try and blog daily but I'm not sure if I can pull it off. If not then at least once a week.

Alright. I'm going to jump in the shower. Oh and idk what I'm doing for Halloween costume wise. WHAT SHOULD I BE?!?

Jobs & My Gay Weekend.

So yah I got new jobs. YES! PLURAL. I'm a G. Plus these arnt just any type of jobs. One of them took me 6 consecutive interviews, panels, and seminars to get. Yes. Both of them are at a MAJOR hotel on the strip. Both of them are in MAJOR retail stores. Both of them are at VERY respected company's. Both are also part time but one of them is seasonal so it ends before I start school in January which turns out great.

SO JOHN?! WHERE ARE THE JOBS!??!?!

I probably shouldn't tell you for privacy reasons. Then again I really want to. So here it goes. The seasonal job is at H&M. Its going to be their largest flagship store that isnt open just yet. The other job I REALLY want to tell you about but I havnt signed the paper work just yet and this company is VERY picky about letting people say things. So I'll hint at it and on Monday I'll tell you guys for sure. Its a computer company that also makes phones, and music players, and other REALLY cool things ;) Don't be like "OMG IS IT ....." im not going to say yes or no in the comments lol just waits till monday. I know. It's killing me to wait but its been over two weeks and I'm DYING so I guess you guys can wait a few days. lol

Saturday I'm going out to visit another one of my friends at her college. So excited!! =p

SO MY GAY WEEKEND:

(sorry this blog sucks) So this past friday they did the FIRST 18+ gay nightclub on the Las Vegas Strip at the Hard Rock Cafe's top floor which is a club. It was so much fun. I didnt get to stay as long as I would have liked because my friend needed to leave and I was her ride. At first it was kinda slow but then people started getting there and it was fun. I danced with this cute guy that was grabbing my ass and shit and I left for a minute to say hi to a friend and I come back and he is like ALL over this one random guy that he just met (they shook hands and had that awkward "hi my name is" conversation). Then this other guy was dancing with me but he wasnt that fun so I left haha I feel bad cause I didnt say anything I just left hahaha.

So then Saturday night they had this National Coming Out Day festival but my friends bailed on me last minute. So I didnt end up going out. =[ but Sunday night I did!

Sunday night we celebrated my friends mom's birthday. She is REALLY awesome and is a total ally to the gay crowd so naturally we went to gay bar for her birthday. I made her a bunch of jello shots which were SOOO yummy. Then we went in and I started to drink. They did karaoke and I danced on the pole. But before that....

My friend and her mom went out to smoke something that wasn't a cigarette (im clean remember!) so I was left there. These two LATE 30's guys come over and corner me and start like getting all grabby and flirting with me. I'm like WOOOOO. calm your shit down. So I like get up and run to the bathroom (I didnt run but I walked fast. lol) So then this other guy in his late 40's was all like "yah... i met cher, im an author, this person read my book, im the shit.) ohh wow. Then is other guy was like "hey john! is this you?!" I was like umm how do you know my name? Well it turned out they found me on Grindr. OHH WOW. So that was another conversation that was horrible. Other then that though it was an overall fun night and I got drunk and had fun. =p

Last night I went out to the Laker game. It was sooo much fun. It was a pre-season game but stil it was good. Laker's kicked ass and I had pretty amazing seats. ROW A =p

Sorry this blog was all over the place. I just needed to update you guys and so much has happened. lol I'll try to start blogging every other day or so from the day I get back from my trip. So monday lol

I need a shirt that says. G.A.Y. Doesn't Spell WHORE. =p have a nice weekend!

New friend.

This is going to be a hard blog post for me to write. I have been blogging for more then a year now and I really havent left out many details in my life. This one is about someone else and I don't really know how it could effect my relationship with the person. So I'm going to be general and hope that it wont being any negative effects.

One night me and my friends were just joking around and they decided to look up gay people in this app. So we download it and make a profile so we can see who was on there. It turns out we thought there was this guy we knew from this restaurant we just went to so we "chat" with him and it turns out not to be him. So were like this is boring. So we go and change the filter from 18-19 to 18-24. Turns out there are way hotter guys that are older. So I start chatting with some of them. At first it was just a random bored thing but then I actually had a good conversation with this one guy who is 23. So we exchange cell numbers and he adds me on Facebook the next day.

He actually sends me a facebook chat and at first it felt to easy. I never actually sat back and let things just play out. With these younger guys it was always like a game. What I had to say and do to get them to say this or that. With him it was easy. We talked and he showed genuine interest. It ends with him asking me to text him sometime. So far so good.

Well we have been texting every other day. He texts me I text him. It's just easy. I dont have to worry about "omg. he hasnt talked to me in 2 days! I texted him first last time!!" We have been texting for about two weeks. He live's close by. So I decided to make a move and ask him to a cup of coffee. We ended up planning a "lousy planned" coffee date. Just in case he has to work or something comes up. So we will see how that goes. I'll update you. So far he has been fun to talk to and he seems really nice. I enjoy our conversations so we'll see where it goes from here.

Utah Trip.

So this past weekend I really wanted to do something. I had a interview set up for Tuesday for H&M (this would be a follow up. aka second interview) and then another Seminar on Monday for a company I don't want to name but its a pretty fucking amazing company. So what to do? Well how about drive down to Utah and see some friends at their campus.

So I drove down there. I actually have 4 really good friends that are down there. I slept at my best friend Carrie's dorm but we were always with another 2 of my friends and other friends that they had. It was a lot of fun. It was a very big college experience for me.

So the first night, friday, I got there and we went out for dinner and then went and saw a movie. It was fun. I was getting to know her friends and it was really nice hanging out with my old friends which I hadn't seen in a while.

Then the next day we woke up late so instead of eating at the cafeteria we went out to IHOP. Then after that we headed to the Tattoo/Piercing shop because of of their friends wanted to see if they got any new piercings in. So we go and Carrie really wanted to get a Monroe but she was scared cause of her parents. So we left and went back to the dorms. Then we decided to go eat. So Carrie got convinced that she wants to get it. So we go back and Carrie gets it. It looks REALLY cute on her and she really likes it which is awesome. Later that night these guys decided that they want to have a rave on their room. So I drove them to Walmart and they got glow sticks, strobe lights, and a smoke machine. The smoke machine set off the smoke alarm and then after 40 mins we got to go back and we just had one with no smoke machine. Overall a really fun day.

Then sunday came alone. We went and got breakfast early. I woke them all up and they got mad but I didnt care cause I was leaving early and I wanted to spend as much time with them as I could. After that we went back to the dorm and hung out and then me and Carrie went to Starbucks and got gas and snakes for my drive home. I went back to the dorms, got my stuff, said bye to everyone, and left. It was a ton of fun. I'm really glad I went down there! =p

Tomorrow I'll post about those job interviews. I got some amazing news. =p

Life has been pretty good.

Just a quick post to organize my thoughts and to show you im still alive. Here are the things I have been up to and the things that I need to write about:

1. Utah trip

2. I made a new friend

3. Job's (yes plural) interviews and shit.

4. College

5. Life.

Well those are the topic and there are a few subtopics but like I said I have to keep this one short. I actually have to go and get ready for my job interview in a couple hours from now.

and guys, thanks =p

My future scares me...

Here is the thing. I have been set on going to Israel for school because A) it would be starting fresh and not a semester in. B) I would be 100% independent and far from home. C) I love it there. It's one of the funnest places to live and the people there are extremely friendly. D) I LOVE IT THERE!

Now that all my friends are off in their respected colleges and im hearing about how much fun and how they go about their classes and all that fun stuff... I'm kind of starting to think: "hey, john. that seems like something interesting. something that wouldn't be as difficult or as expensive as Israel." Here is the thing: moving to Israel is going to be hard. I need to put away at least 10k, before Aug, so that I can live comfortably for a year until i get settled and can find a job where I dont need any reading or writing skills (I can speak fluently but my writing is horrible and my reading is at a 4rd grade level). Also the school in Israel is HARD. Its a 3 year school and the workload is crazy. I would be taking 2-3 times more classes a year then I could be at a USA college. Plus the cost of just education (not living, JUST tuition) is $30,000 compared to my in state tuition which would be around $9,000. Also I could live in a dorm and be independent up north (reno) where I already know a few people and it wouldn't be as hard to fit in with my surroundings.

So is this just fear & nervousness or something I'm willing to do. Idk. All I know right now is I wouldnt mind staying in state up i reno. I would be far from home. I would be independent. I would be with old friends and making new ones easier.

So why not just rule out Israel? I feel like I've made so many moves and mistakes and whatever you want to call it just because I want to move to study in Israel. I have put so much into the thought and have told everyone im doing it and used it as an excuse for why im just taking community college until next year when I can move there and start fresh. I have BEGGED my parent for an opportunity just to show them I'm serious about this whole thing. I feel like I have to prove to them that I can do it now. Like it's just a little to late to step back and be like: "you know... maybe this isnt such a good idea."

On the other hand. Maybe right now, today, the minute I'm writing this post, I'm just a little scared. Maybe I'm just feeling that feeling a bride gets before she walks down the aisle because now its getting real. I'm growing up and its starting to scare me but thats ok. Now I just need to be mature about it and not let it stop me from making the right decision about my future.

Fun fact. When I turned 18(literally 2 days after) my view count started to go down from 30,000 views average a day to 600 average a day. haha I'm older, wiser, and less entertaining. lol

I MISSED my 1 year anniversary! =[

It was yesterday! OMG! How could I do such a thing? IT WAS MY 1 YEAR ON MY BLOG! =[ Im so sorry guys. Im actually planning something but im waiting to get hired and then start doing it because I dont want them finding anything they can use in my background checks. It has felt like months but its only been like a week since my interview and I'm waiting to get a call and a second interview after they are done running background checks.

So other then that whats up? Well. I got my final paycheck for the catalogue/website. Im doing another site soon for my dads business so he will pay for my college lol Danika (one of the girls from the LA trip) came back to vegas for a baby shower. She is in a different place for college. So did carrie and I got to see both of them for a couple hours and they had so many fun stories to tell me. I really wish I could go to Israel and start college already. I'm craving learning. I want information.

So lets talk about DOMA and Dont Ask, Dont Tell. BULLSHIT. did you guys what happened today. Fucking republican senators. I'm so not happy about this. A Senator that doesnt fight for equality isnt fighting for America! Lets get that out there.

Vegas is FINALLY getting 18+ gay nights and well im going to go even if I have to go alone lol

I'm trying to get back into my old weight which was 150. I'm currently at 169. This summer was not good for me. Im a fatty (in my head its worse then it really is). I'm on week 3 of couch to 5k and its HARD but in a good way. I'm not loosing weight as fast as I would like. I'm kind of stuck at 169 and now im forcing myself to diet harder. I'm not about to stay at this weight. It's not happening.

Yom Kipper was this past weekend and it was HELL. I don't really believe in this religion (Judaism) but was forced to participate because of my parents. I would sit here and tell you all about it but seriously, its not worth it.

I filmed a music video the other day and it went really well. I'm almost done editing it. Its pretty cute. I directed and filmed it rather then being in it. I really wanted to have full creative control of the whole video.

I literally have no plans to do anything this week and im super bored. I'm trying to get my friend to come with me to go visit Carrie at college but she has work on Sat and she is trying to find someone to cover her shift.

JOB INTERVIEW!!

Yah, I know that I applied online and they denied me but hell no. This cute gay guy isnt going to sit around and let an e-mail stop him from getting a job at one of his favorite stores. (ok. no more talking in third person. if this was an essay i would have failed for switching tones but fuck that bitches! I graduated already). So I heard that they were doing open interviews. So I just went into the recruitment center and told them "I want an interview" and boom. The interviewee was super nice. She told me she would be one of my managers at the new store they are opening. We had a few things in common and I think she liked me over all. I have a very interesting resume so I think that helped as well. Now they have to do my background check and then go ahead and call me in for a second interview. I REALLY hope I get this job because I love the store and it would be such a great opportunity!

Other then that I have been working with the designer on the catalogue again. We are redoing it once more. She now wants it actual size. Something she never requested before. So yay.

I started Couch to 5K monday. Which means that I'm done with week 1. I know wayner was like "dont stick to fad workouts" but this really isnt one of those. It's actually a really popular running program that you do for 9 weeks. Its a serious of timed runs, jogs, and walks and the difficulty increases weekly. By the end of the 9 weeks im going to try and run a 5K marathon! So sometime in november or december.

I might/hopefully am going to go to a gay club tomorrow night with a friend. I'm not 21 but supposedly we can get in. It should be fun. Maybe meet some cute guy and have a good time. I hope! lol

Well my friend who I havn't seen in forever is coming over tonight to hang out. Were going to have a blast!!

MY ONE YEAR on this blog is coming up soon!!! Omg. maybe we should do something special?!? Any ideas?

Super Saturday... Yah thats a really cheesy title. sorry.

Yesterday was awesome. I slept in. Went shopping by myself. Bought tons of clothes. Then went out with my friend to dinner and to see Chelsea Handler at Caesars Palace. We walked the strip a bit and then headed home!

It was so much fun. This is the first time I really went shopping on my own. It was so relaxing and I had a blast. I went to H&M then got coffee and went to Aldo where I got some amazing shoes. Then headed to Express and got a really cute outfit for the night. So far so great. Then a drove down the strip to Caesars and got the tickets. The will call line was HUGE. The place seats 4k+ people so i guess thats why lol After waiting for what looked like forever. I got in my car and drove down the back way to Fashion Show Mall. Where I went to Forever 21. The one there is the largest store they have. Got some really cute stuff there and the girl that rang me up was telling me about places that were hiring =p

Then I headed home and with 2 hours to spare I got ready to go out. I picked up my friend Giovanna and then headed to Kona Grill for some sushi. Seriously people. One of the best places to eat in this city. Strongly recommended. It was Giovanna's first time there and she loved it.

After dinner we drove over to Caesars Palace. It started getting late and we were nervous we weren't going to make it but it started late anyway so all that worrying was for nothing lol The opener was Brad Wollack. SOOO funny. He did this amazing bit about gay marriage. He was pro. Then Chelsea came on. Seriously thought I was going to pee my pants because I was laughing so hard. Her set was so fluid and friendly. It was great. I enjoyed it so much. After that we went out and just walked the strip and then drove home.

Overall a pretty epic day. =p

Today I didn't do much. I slept in till 1am. Woke up and did nothing till around 5pm and then I got ready and went out to dinner with my parents.

Funny story. When I was in forever 21 I saw this guy that I went to middle school with. He was obviously gay. He was with his mom and dress really awkwardly. Also he had this little beard thing going. Anyway... he ended up being a server at the restaurant I just went to with my parents for dinner. Haha... It's a small world. Just thought it was ironic.

Soo...

Umm well how has everyone been? Last we talked I was in a good point in my life right? lol Well the project has come back to haunt me. The catalogue is a no go. She wants to redo it for the 4th time this time ALL the way from the start. So yah. Woo! (sarcasm) Just to update you: The gyc guy deleted me off facebook and when I texted him: "did you delete me off facebook?" he never responded. That's why I dont got for 16 year olds. Mental note taken. lol Lets leave it at that because he isnt worth more.

Everyone is starting college and I really want to as well but like I told you before. I fucked up and missed the date to pay for my classes and now I cant start till spring semester.

I'm starting to miss all my old friends. They are starting their new life so they dont feel it as much i'm guessing. Umm... I still have a couple friends that I'm hanging out with. Taylor is my best friend but whenever we hang out she brings her girlfriend, Summer, and that just makes me feel lonely at times haha. I'm actually going out with one of the people that I have been friends with for a while on Saturday. We are going shopping and then going to see Chelsea Handler. I LOVE Chelsea so im SOO excited for that.

Labor day is coming up and I think we might take a rode trip up to Mount Charleston and have lunch or something. Idk. Something fun like that. lol

I think I'm going to make you guys a little video blog. Now dont take my word for it. It's just an idea that I'm easing up on. I really want to interact with you guys but at the same time still keep my privacy. So Idk how thats going to happen.

I'm also thinking about starting this couch to 5k thing. Its basicity a workout you do 3 times a week and you finish the program in 9 weeks.

Ok. Well I'm going to go and be lonely and do nothing. Yay! haha

Well, It Started W/ Your Hips So I Moved Up To Your...

Its a song. lol I like it. Im currently watching the Emmy's and loving it. Last night was fun but there were times were it just sucked. I went out for my friends 18th birthday. Her girlfriend came with her. Then it was a friend that is a girl and her girlfriend. So now we are at 4 lesbians and me. Then we went out to the strip where we were joined by another couple and a girl who wasnt really there so I didnt notice her. Then we went to the hookah lounge and it was just the original 5 again. So me and 2 couples. My friends (the birthday girl) brother came to the lounge and we had a really good conversation till he left. Then we left. It made me really want someone for myself. :/

So now that my friend is 18 I'm taking her to a hookah lounge that is amazing. We went to this ghetto one that doesn't card yesterday because there were younger people in the group. Her girlfriend is 17. So I though it would be an opportunity to just go me and her. You see usually she is really good like doing the whole friend and girlfriend separate time thing but ever since I got back from Israel it was like I saw her one day and then every other time I invited her over she asked if she could bring her girlfriend. Nothing against her girlfriend. I LOVE hanging out with her. I have the best times with her. It's just that sometimes I want it to be just us. Not that couple and John. Anyway's so she asked me if she can bring her and see if she can get in and if not then she will leave.

Oh and now I found out that she can't come with me anymore to the concert in October because of her softball games. Idk anyone else that likes this band that would drive down there with me. Which really sucks. =[ That was like the highlight of my year.

Havn't heard from GYC guy yet. Going to stop by my old high school tomorrow and see my old teachers. Just for fun. lol

Hey! Steve Jobs. If you read this. Can I have a job at a store? Please?!

I applied at apple. Which is like saying you applied to Harvard. Its really really hard to get an interview even. You have to be really lucky. Which isnt the streak im on right now. If I dont hear from Apple by Monday I'm seriously going to be disappointed. I want to start something already. I'm sick of staying home and doing nothing. Well... I'm working, just not like out of the house working.

Anyways. GYC guy. We started messaging each other. He goes to the high school I graduated from. He is cute. He seems mature but fun. He has a job. He is in choir. Umm yah. I'll let you know where this goes.

Anyways... I went to a Frat party. Ummm... not my scene lol I got in because I have a friend who is in a sorority and I didnt know anyone there so it was awkward most of the night following here around. I had a few drinks and shit but nothing crazy. I needed to drive home and it was a 20 min drive on the freeway so yah... There was a gay guy there but he either didnt take the hint or didnt want to. I made myself available. Fun fact. I heard that the president of the frat is gay, out, with a boyfriend. That is amazing. I'm happy for him. I can't really see myself in that lifestyle. I'm all about going out and having fun but frat parties are a little over the top for me. I'm more the club out with the close friends type of guy. Yah...

So tonight is my best friends birthday. We are going out on the town. The strip and then a hookah lounge? idk. Some of the people are under 18 so we will see what happens there. I really should start getting ready. Ummm... yah. I want to say GOOD LUCK to my twitter friend and fellow blogger Robert on his date tonight. =p his blog is lrtackle15.blogspot.com. Ok. I'm going to get ready! Bye!

Work.

I have been consumed in work lately. I love and hate it. It's a perfect mix of need and want and not want. I know that makes no sense. Thats me ;)

So yah. I made a GYC profile. Its basically a Facebook for gays. As soon as I added a pic i got 2 messages. One from an 8 and another from a 2. I would of responded to the 2 if it wasn't a stupid hi. Give me some effort at least. I'm not going to date you but at least make the conversation worth while. I messaged the 8 back a day latter. He is cute. 16. Latino. Taller then me. Usually not my type but hey. I need to be less picky. I havn't really had that much time to scope out the scene but I will soon. Maybe find a couple cute guys and take them out on some dates. I feel like im ready to start dating. Nothing to much just a couple dates. Lets see...

I applied for a new stable job. You already know i've been doing the whole graphic/web design thing but its not stable and paychecks come every other month and I need to pay my bills lol So maybe i'm getting paid less but I want to be able to dress up and go out and work. I just am sick of staying home in my PJ's and working 12 hours starring at a computer screen. I'll tell you where when I get the job or when i dont get the job. Hopefully the former.

Me and my parents got into a HUGE debate about me not believing in "our" religion. He is saying that im being disrespectful for not going threw with all of the religious sermonizes that he does because I dont believe in what they stand for. I personally dont believe in Judaism. I right now can't say I dont believe in any religion because I haven't studied them all but or now im not looking for one. So here is the deal. He basically is forcing me to do all these religious tasks or else. He tried guilting me and blackmailing me and all. He even said I was just trying to be a horrible son referring to me being gay and not starting college till fall and drinking and smoking weed back in the day. I just dont give a shit. He told me that if I dont do all the religious stuff not to go to his funeral because its going to be a jewish funeral and he wasnt to "rid" me of the experience. Yah... that pissed me off.

Funny fact: they went to San Francisco a couple days ago and my mom brought me back a rainbow bracelet. Yah...

I'll update you all as life goes on. I'm hopefully getting paid tomorrow morning. Let's see how this week goes.

Everyone's Leaving.

College season is upon us and John isn't going to be going out of the state (or country) anytime soon. Well unless next year is soon. Right now im stuck in las vegas. I didnt pay in time for my classes so I'm stuck starting classes in the spring. I was in Israel and the school wont let you pay online so by the time I got back it was to late.

Most of my friends have left. Some went to Utah, others went up north to Reno (a 9 hour drive away). That's where most of them went now that I think of it. lol Some of them I'm going to miss deeply. I might drive down to Utah for the Shakespeare festival because thats the school my friends are at. Maybe I'll go down there for the weekend.

Also there is this concert that I REALLY want to go to in Anaheim, CA so I might drive down there in October to see them. So that is the traveling im planning on doing for this first half of the year.

So what am I planning on doing for the rest of the year until school starts? Umm... work. Full time. Hopefully I can start by Sept because I really need some money. I'm also waiting on a paycheck that should have been given to me about a month ago. Its a big one also!

So tonight my 2 friends are going to come sleepover and we are going to watch movies and maybe smoke some hookah and just chill. I love those kinds of nights! They are my favorite!! I'm in the middle of cleaning my room and its a total mess so I'm going to get going! Bye!

Fast Paced Life.

So much is going on. I really need some time to let it all pass by before I can sit here and explain it all. My life is kinda crazy right now. I'm making all these last min college decisions that, I will admit, are a bit last minute. I'm working towards getting into a college and we will see where and how that goes. I'll fill you in with details as I get them =p

My friends are my friends. I have been spending time with one of my dear old friends. Not the girls from the trip. I feel as if its a shame that she is going away for college but thats how life is I guess. Again I'll talk more about that soon.

I might be having a sleepover tomorrow night with a couple friends. Idk what is going on right now. I literally am rushing to finish a million things but that just makes me even more motivated to prove to everyone that I can do this. This is MY time to show everyone what im capable of doing.

Ok. My laptop isn't charged so im going to go know. bye.

Shit has happened.

So lets start where I left off a week ago. I ended up going to the party at this guys house. I met these really cool people that are like "yah lets hang out!" and when im inviting them to things either never text me back or just dont end up coming. Whatever. Their loss.

Anyways... So I go and meet this girl names Lisa and a Guy names Chase that are pretty cool. Lisa was my favorite. She was nice and we had things to talk about. Chase was gay and cute. In a fun way. Like he seems like he's always up for a good time. Then there was another gay guy named Dallis. He was sober but he was nice. He was a little older then me and already had a job and a nice car. Graduated already with a degree. Not as cute as Chase but not ugly. From what I heard after I left (4am) they went upstairs and hooked up. Yah... lol There was the guys best friends and another guy that had sex with one of his best friends. Jess and Lauren where the friends and the guy was nicknamed "wow meth." long story.

So the next day I got invited to this lunch/movie with a bunch of friends. So I go and Danika is there. It wasn't like awkward or anything but I want going to be like "lets talk" yah no. Anyway by then end of the day she was like lets talk. So I finally made the decision that I was going to forgive them. Not shelby. She can go burn in hell for all I care. I talked to Taylor the day after that and we hung out. It was nice.

Yesterday I had a BBQ at the park. It was my first time BBQ on a coal grill so that was interesting. I did an AMAZING job. The food was great and we had fun. There was about 10 of us there so it was nice. I spend the rest of the day with my friend Carrie. She is going off to college in Utah and im going to miss her SOO much. =[

Well tonight im having a little kick back at my house. My parents are out of town and yah... I'm a bad kid. I just had a conversation with my mom about how she should trust me and no im going against her word... I'll deal with that later in life I guess haha.

Ok. So last night I called over this guy and we had sex. Fist of all it wasnt the first time. Last time it was in his truck like 2 years ago and it was bad. This time it was in my room and after the first like 10min I wasnt into it anymore. Like he was having a blast. It was just not that hot for me. I wasn't really attracted to him that much as much as I just wanted to have sex and he was the person that I knew was available. So yah. It's not happening again. He is one of those have sex and its a relationship the next time type deals and hell no is that going to happen. I can say that right now.

I'm going to go get ready and shit. I know like at least 7 people are coming. Not much of a party. Just like a kickback. Don't want to reck the place haha. I invited like 20 so maybe a few more people will show. They just never texted me back so yah... ok. bye.

Catch Up...

I have some pretty crazy stories from Israel I still need to tell you guys. One of them was just weird.. So my dad's something or other. (cousins son? idk) Decided that he was going to take me out in Tel Aviv. So he took me to his apartment. Then to a bar. He got me a beer (not the bottle like half from the tap.) He bought be 3 shots and then we left... To a store to buy me ANOTHER beer. lol It was a 30. Omg I was so tipsy. Luckily I have high tolerance for alcohol because the whole time we were walking in public and it was like 5pm. So then he was like lets walk to the beach. I didnt have any beach clothes. So I just decided that I was going to go in with my shorts. I was wearing shoes with socks and that was like the hardest thing. Taking them off with NO balance. Yah... lol So then we go in the water and im like this is awesome. Water was perfect. I was buzzed enough to be able to enjoy it and not care that in 5 min I will be leaving without a towel and be soaking wet with sand in my socks and wearing shoes walking thew Tel Aviv. So we leave and then he was like "i have to stop at the mall and buy a pair of pants" so im like whatever. So now im like "not sober" in a mall, wet, and full of sand. Oh yah. im a rebel. Not to mention this WHOLE time he was talking about girls. Every 5 min he would point out a girl or say something about girls. I was so in the closet with him. I hated it. It was horrible. Like I had to tell lies and shit and be like "yah... all the girls are immature." and I kept making excuses to why I wasnt making advances towards girls. It was bad... So then we walked back to his apartment and he drove me back. It was just weird. lol

So I went to NY for 4 days and it was a blast. I got to see Billy Elliot as well as American Idiot. Both were fantastic. We went and did the tourist thing also. Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero, Empire State Building. We got to go to the meat packing district which was AWESOME. I loved it there. I went to the 5th avenue apple store and got my iPhone 4 there. Im an apple fan so that was like going to see the pope or something. haha So that was New York. I did more but nothing THAT interesting.

So I get back to vegas right. My friend carrie was like, LETS HANG OUT. I missed her so much. So we hung out one night. We went to the strip and it was fun. =p She just got out of a 3 year relationship with this guy she was in love with. I was friends with her for those 3 years so I can tell that she is back to her old single fun self. To bad she is moving away for college. I'm going to miss her.

So then this guy right. I talked to him on facebook while I was in Israel. He really wants to hang out. He keeps texting me and he totally wants to fuck. Except he has horrible timing. Like I have to work or Im with my family. I had to blow him off three times already. He JUST texted me and invited me to his party at his house tonight. He is 20. Too tall and has blond hair. I fucked him before so I know that his cock doesn't make up for it much. The only reason Im willing to do it again is because the sex was HORRIBLE. Yah. It was in his truck in like the mountains and it was just like bad. I was 16 at the time. So I want it to be like fucking hot sex. Like maybe the sex will be amazing. Idk. Im weird I guess. He just texted me saying soooooo. damn. he really wants me. Oh yah. the reason that I havnt talked to him since was because he was like IN LOVE with me. Like he was obsessed. It didnt help that he was friends with people I knew because I really didnt want them knowing I had sex with him. He has this ego over the top personality. Total turn off.

Anyway. Umm... idk if im going to go tonight. One: because idk how im going to explain it to my mom. She knows that im not really social since the whole LA thing and it will throw up some red flags. Two: I dont want to spend the night there or have sex tonight. Im not in the mood. If I drink both will most likely happen. Three: I have a deadline for a project due tomorrow and I have A LOT of work that still needs to be done. So idk if im going to go or not.

Also idk who else he invited. If its just me and him and like 3 other people its going to be awkward.

Also since I was in Israel I really havnt groomed myself. Like I trimmed but I havnt like did a full service type thing. I usually trim the bush, save the shaft and my balls and do as much shaving as I can around my hole. Im pretty hairy. Its one of my least favorite features... (also im not THAT hairy. Just not, not hairy lol).

Well im going to deiced what to do. lol bye.

Quick Update

Its been a while. I am back home in vegas. I have so many stories to tell you guys I just have been knee deep in stuff i need to finish since we got back.

Just wanted to let you know I was still alive. Im here and dreading vegas haha.

I'll try to write up a proper post tomorrow afternoon after im done with work. =p lots of juicy and interesting things have happened lol

My 13 hour Flight Back To The States.

I'm currently on a airplane so I'm writing a blog threw the notes app on my iPhone. My family is sitting in first class while I'm sitting in the back in economy. Currently I'm in the seat 23B in the middle on the left in the back. Alone. Now I'm not complaining nor am I using this post to show disrespect. Rather it is just a post that is filled (mostly) with sarcasm. Enjoy. P.S. I have never flown first class. So don't take this as rich kid is unappreciative.

I'm flying with Continental Airlines. I go to sit down and a older man says we can switch seats so instead of sitting in the middle I can sit on the side by the hallway. We sit. A min latter a flight attendant tells him he's in the wrong seat. Meaning he needs to get out and I need to move. Yay. He is an older man. Probably in his 80's. It takes him a while to get out. I help him out and show him his seat across the hallway. All the while an attendant is yelling at me (with a smile) to move into a row so that people can pass by. Yah because that the motto right? Everyone matters... Except old people. I debated giving her shit for it but quickly remembered that she is the one who will be serving drinks to me later in the flight.

Luckily the whole fiasco ended with another senior and his grand kid (Israelis!) wanting to sit next to each other so I got to keep my hallway seat!

I go to sit down and my blanket is missing. Don't you love that? I kindly request another one and the attendant very kindly answers while walking away saying you get one per seat and that this is a full flight and... She was to far for me to comprehend what she said from their. I assumed that she was really in a rush and had a really important place to be at the moment. In retrospect a shot of something (vodka?) that would calm her down was what I was thinking she was running to. If that was the case then I respect that. If I owned a plane I would definitely place alcohol before customers. Both give u headaches but one requires way less interaction with humans.

She returns, in a WAY more relaxed state, and gave me a blanket. She told me it's the only extra on the plan that she knows about. She was really kind all of a sudden. I wanted whatever she just took. God knows I needed it to survive this 12 hour flight with the three little kids in the row behind me kicking my seat.

I got situated and decided to check the screen and see what movies/tv shows/ music was available. I was surprised at the amount of movies I actually wanted to watch and closed the screen.

The old man starts talking to me and we have a very nice conversation in Hebrew about my travels in Israel and ect. His grandkid is around the age of 13 and is a boy. He's not shy but not annoying. I got lucky. I usually can't stand kids on flights. Once I was on a flight with a kid that was 6. I tried to explain to him that I wanted nothing to do with him but to no avail he sat there the whole flight explaining to me how an airplane takes off and lands at an angle. He was lucky I was only 9 at the time because my mom had all control of me, and god knows I would have made sure that my fists would have gotten the message to him to shut up.

Unlike that kid the boy next to me is really unusual. He has talked to me and asked questions but not to the point where it was annoying. He even turned around and told the kids to calm the fuck down. Ok, maybe I added the fuck in there myself but it was really unexpended and even awesome. Didn't expect that from the kid.

It's now 12:10pm. To put that in perspective boarding took place at 10:30am and I personally woke up at 6:50am. We are still sitting on the airplane doing nothing. The plane has not moved. It's as if the pilot pulled a Lindsey Logan and didn't show up for her court date. Except instead of the millions of people with cameras there are millions of babies and little children crying: "mommmm moommm!!!"

The flight attendant decided to brace her way threw the crazy child filled hall to hand out water. Right when she passed by me a male flight attendant walked by and asked her a question. Now as much as I enjoy listening in on people conversations I was a tad busy. This particular flight attendant was cute. He had a tight ass and a cute face. He looked small next to the other female flight attendant but I'm guessing anyone would thanks to her manly shoulders and her overly large thighs. I moved my head to take a second look as I saw his cute ass fast walking towards first class. This will be reason number one why first class would have been worth the $500 upgrade fee.

12:30pm. Still not moving. The kid next to me asked why we were not flying yet. If I knew the problem I would have found the solution by now. I'm thinking about offering to fly the plane myself. I personally think I have tons of experience in flying plans. I don't have a license but if my frequent flyer miles mean anything more than "have a free mint while you wait in a shorter line" then I'm qualified.

The lights have just been dimmed. This gave the kids in the row behind me the idea to a) open and close the window making a stobe light effect. b) yell: "yayayay were taking off" and c) their parents yelling at them to "please calm down". This drives me crazy. When will parents understand that when you have kids that are acting out in ways that annoys the fuck out of me, please is not the right word to use in this situation.

The plane is moving. Yay. Someone is watching that new movie that Miley Cyrus played in where she makes out with a guy the whole time. Even without audio I can tell that the movie blows.

I just got yelled at to turn off my phone. It's in airplane mode assholes. Nothing can fucking happen. Goodbye for now.

I'm back. I am tired but since action news channel 2 year old is on high alert behind me I can't sleep. Example: "omg! I can see the clouds! Omg I have pasta. Omg I have nuts."

The kid next to me pulled out an IPhone and started playing a game. You would think a finger touch based game would require way less movement, but shit, the kid was shaking so much I swear it looked like he was orgasming. If that is the case I respect he kept his pants on and/or make me get up so he can "use the bathroom."

Actions news behind me is reporting on how the food tastes. For those of you who have never been on a long term flight (or any flight at all), airplane food sucks major balls. Not even the good kind that can be used. Like the kind you get at IKEA that you use as a centerpiece that your mom says makes your house look more "modern." For once I agree with the kids on their expression. I would yell about how disgusting the food was as well but I'm trying to maintain a cool personality just in case the cute flight attendant walks by again. I could seriously get a free meal out of the deal if you know what I'm saying. "hey ummm. I kinda have this thing where I like to know where there is the most privacy in an airplane. You know just to sit and think. You wanna maybe show me where we... I mean I can get some... Privacy that is."

Unfortunately he isn't passing out the food. I got stuck with the female man shoulder attendant. I had no idea that first class also got hotter attendants. They should really advertise that shit.

Man shoulders is about to offer me chicken or fish. I'm thinking about asking her for chinese food then calling them racist for not having any. I can already see her go from transgender face to I don't really give a shit face but I have to be nice and tell you why we don't offer Chinese food, face.

I picked chicken. I won't bore you with the review. Just know that it was horrible. I decided that the taste of salt would be better so I poured the entire packet on it. My mom came by and gave me a first look at her menu. Let's call this reason number 2 why the $500 upgrade fee would be worth it.

The Miley Cyrus movie is still on her screen. I swear in every scene she has the same expression. I don't understand why they casted her. I could have gone under surgery turned into a women and fit the role better then she does.

It's 2:03pm (Israel time still). I need to piss but the food tray is still in my lap. Also the bathrooms are all occupied. Fuckers. If u care (which I don't.) we are currently over Greece. They do this thing where they show u the map in 3 zooms. One close so u can see countries. One medium so you can see how far you've traveled, and a map of the entire earth so you can see how fucking long of a distance you still have to fly. The action news kids always have the same reactions: 1) "omg we are here!!!" followed by 2) "look how far we are going!! Thats so far!" and then last but not least 3) "is that what we still need to go?! That's so far!! I don't want to. I'm bored." fuckers. I'm going to pee.

7 an a half hours left of plane land. I'm over France. I've come to realize that the boy next to me is older. That probably is the reason he is so much more mature. His looks make him seem younger. He is probably 15 or so. I fell asleep and so did the kid and his grandfather. I woke up before
Him and noticed a little bump. Now I wasn't looking and nor was I that interested in the kid. He's still a kid lol I was curious though. I just wanted to know what it was. It looked larger then what I thought it was so I casually yawned and brushed a finger over it to see if I was air or you know. Now I'm not sure but if it is, at least one thing looks right for his age. It wasn't anything sexual. Im just bored and I got curious to know if it was what I thought it was. Well. He woke up a min latter. I don't blame him. The action news crew of kids behind us won't shut the fuck up or calm down a min and stop fucking moving. Fucking a. I'm officially making this reason number 3 of why the $500 update is worth it to upgrade to first class. I'm bored.

Fun fact: The Maine is the only band I can listen to during a flight and not be bored. It's funny because at home I rarely play it. They have a new album out and it's good. Go check them out. My favorite song is Right Girl. There is an acoustic version on iTunes as well. No, I'm not getting paid to say this lol. It sounds like an ad spot right? Lol ok. Now I'm done. Bye.

Someone in the row in front of me is watching the original Harry Potter. For some reason this reminds me freshman year. I had a friend that is still crazy obsessed with Harry potter. She is 18. You can guess the next sentence. Still a virgin.

Oh yah. I read a little bit. Heather McDonalds book. You'll never blue ball in this town again. Yes, thats the title. Other then the fact that the back cover is pink and makes me look like I'm reading a chick book. It's a great read. It reminds me of how I would act if I was in the closet.

Wow. Two different screens, two different movies. Both were make out/sex scenes. This is one of the problems with America. Alright. Bye again.

Well, it's been a while. It's 7:55pm Israel time. We have another four and a half hours left in the air. I just finished watching cop out. While the movie has some boring parts the fact that they actually say "cop out!" in the movie makes it a good movie. Plus the bad guy plays a character on weeds! Haha.

I look up to an average site. A 6 year old boy playing with a nintendo dS. Yah. Expect you know what's not normal. The religious man that is standing above him, astonished by the device, jumping up and down, listing to music threw a cassette player. If you must ask u think he was praying. Either way I want out of this fucking plane. I need to pee once more.

I've come to the conclusion that with 36% battery on my iPhone I have not even began to write enough about what is going on here. The line for the bathroom mixed with the turbulence is what's keeping me from taking a piss. I need to pee.

I have come to the conclusion that reason 4 that the $500 upgrade fee is worth it is that the first class bathrooms are completely available.

I cut the line to the bathroom. There was a religious man in the line. (yes the same one that was jumping up in down). If there is a God I'm going to hell. Let's just hope he doesn't come with me.

The kid behind me keeps kicking my faking seat. So fucking annoying. Life lessons: don't Adopt.

(not very) fun fact #2: my mom is deathly afraid of airplanes. Every time there is turbulence I listen for my mom to yell my dads name. Unfortunately on this flight I'm way to fat away to hear her yelling. My dad informed me earlier that this flight wasn't any different.

Wow. The kid next me has his hand under the blanket right "there" and was totally just either fake or not fake masturbating. As much as this weirds me out. Props for not making me get up for you to use the bathroom. Still. Ewe.

There is an outlet here but for fucks sake it's like trying to find a penis in the Octo-Moms vagina.

Fun fact #3: till this day I can't spell vagina right. I am truly a homosexual.

I stopped a flight attendant and asked her where the outlets are. She didn't help much so I crawled under the seat and after about 5 min I found the outlet. During the process three different people asked if I was ok. No I'm not. Why the fuck are the outlets so hard to fucking find. Don't answer that. I don't really care.

I'm at 38% battery.

The kid next to me is holding hands with his Grandfather. It would be cute if he wasn't just jacking off with those hands. 3 hours and 46 min left on this hell plane.

Update on the kid next to me! Army you so fucking excited? (I'm so sorry I have nothing to do on this flight). Out of all 200 movies he picked the thumbnail containing a hot girl in a bikini. Damn kid. How many times in one flight can you bust a nut. It's started to weird me out. It's a good movie though. Forgetting Sarah Marshal. If it's the unrated version they show the guys dick. Haha. Irony go for the boobs and you get dick. He's rubbing... Someone somewhere please save me from this nightmare.

So after 5 games of tris i look u and it's as if I'm going insane. What's tris? It's a rip off of tetris that got pulled from the app store back in the early days. If u downloaded it you can keep it. It was free and tetris is like $5. This situation could be considered hipster and/or cheap.

Guys we need to talk. I'm thinking of being a full time student in Israel. I don't know what that means right now. Well I do but not for sure. Admissions for the school are open until September. I have nothing to loose by applying. My grades are average and not that great. So we will see. I'm going to go fo it. In the worst case I will do a year in Vegas to raise my chances. Idk what that means. In any case I'll talk more about this on a different post. I just needed to mention it. A) because I'm bored and B) because it's on my mind.

So close! 3 hours till I land. They are passing out those cards they use for immigration. Blahhh. I'm landing in Newark at 5:15 ish.

My throat is dry. I NEED a diet coke. Asap.

Still no diet coke. Also I think my baby cousin just threw up. Either that or he spilled something. I'm pretty sure he threw up as my aunt is cleaning the floor now. My dad got up again I'm not sitting with them I'm in the back. They are in first class.

So close yet so far. Another 2 and a half hours.

I went up there he threw up. The flight attendant threw a bitch fit about me standing there. She was angry anyway that she needed to clean up the floor. Why the fuck can't people be nice about things. I swear everyone here has been a total asshole. Fuck continental.

My back hurts. A lot. I'm thinking about taking the information of the parents of the action news kids in the row behind me and making them paying the doctor fee's because they are constantly kicking my seat. Seriously. As I'm writing this they are jumping against my seat. A little over 2 hours left.

The action news kids were running around the hallway on the way back to jump into their seats they blew shit breath all over me. So disgusting.

Hallway lights are on. The girl that was watching the Miley Cyrus movie is now watching a thriller. That one movie where this crazy white chick
Is obsessed with this black guy that want nothing to do with her. I think it will J Lo.

I'm actually really excited to turn my phone on. Even though I basically have no one to really talk to because of the LA trip and the fact that I basically just didn't talk to anyone while I was I Israel. Lol NYC you are my next pet project. Lol

Woo. Hot meal and last drinks round. Maybe I can finally get that diet coke. The kids behind me are getting on my last nerve. Oh and yes I AM saying something. They still don't stop.

I hate this flight the most for the final reason why the $500 upgrade fee is worth it. Breakfast. The meal is eggs. Just the smell drives me insane. It's the most disgusting thing on earth. I'm not even mentioning the taste. Forget it. There's no way I'm opening the silver packaging. Yes. It's THAT bad.

770 miles left. That's an hour and 45 mins.

So I got the "food" I didn't eat much of it. We are so close. Kid next to is trying to sleep. We have 51 min left. A little late for that kid. The kid behind me is like kicking the seat on purpose by now. Just because I keep asking him to stop. Oops. The time just jumped up to an hour and 7 mins. What the fuck? On the zoomed out map it looks like we are there already. Ok. Bye.

Well we are descending slowly. Still have 229 miles left till the airport. There is crazy turbulence. My mom is probably going crazy. I have to turn off my electronic device now. Bye.

The kid next to me decided to move over to the window seat. At first I was like why the fuck are you moving now I have to get up and there is literally another 20 mins left. Then the flight was extended because our pilot decided that she was going to fly around in circles (yes. Literally, circles). Then the kid didn't feel well. The tramps needed to use the bathroom (during a decent) and then the kid threw up. Luckily he used a bag.

This has been my observation of my flight from Israel to Newark.

New York Here I Come =p

Yup! Only 3 more days till we fly to New York. We are making a 4 night/5 day stop there before we continue to Las Vegas. My Aunt and her kids are coming with us as well. I'm really excited. Last time I went to New York was in 7th grade on a school trip thing. It was a lot of fun so I can't wait to go back.

I made an entire presentation on what we can do while we are there. I showed it to the family this morning and then we sat and decided on what was a yes and what is a no. We ended up choosing to see Billy Elliot (not my fist choice but still a good show) and then I really wanted to see American Idiot as well so my dad and brother are going with me to see it a different day. We got good seats at the discount price which is awesome. =p We also got tickets to the NBC studio tour. I'll tell you more about that when it all happens lol

My parents went to the beach and now im siting home talking to you guys lol. I havn't done much since we talked.

well... i just got back from dinner. we went to this asian restaurant and then went to max brenner. OMG. It is the most amazing place ever.

They have chocolate everything. I Had myself a Java white chocolate cocktail. It had gummy bears on the little stick. It was so good. (pic on left) I also had this amazing chocolate thing. I dont even know how to describe the amazingness of what it was. I know they have on in NY on broadway st and they are also opening one in vegas on Aug. 5th. Im pretty sure I saw a chicago one also so go check if your interested. Definitely recommended.

thanks for caring guys =p I was reading up on some blogs and I noticed many times I was linked on their blogs and it made me smile. I really need to update my blog list as soon as I get back home. If you have linked me or want me to link your blog let me know by sending me an email. (its in the about section).

alright. going to head out now. bye! p.s. this guy that i cam with from australia is coming next month. ;) haha im looking forward to that. also maybe going on a date when I get back. things are looking up.

Back from the mini vacation.

Got back from eilat yesterday.(thats a picture from our view on the balcony!) So now back to the other kind of vacation that is living at my aunts haha. So what did we do there? Well:

We ate a lot of food. We rented a "speed boat" that ended up only going about 20 mph and took it for an hour in the ocean. I went out and ate some more. I laid out by the pool some more. Then some more of hanging out by the beach. I went to the mall and hung out there for a bit. Then came back and ate some more. OMG. There were some gorgeous guys there. All a little younger then me (maybe 16 or 17) and... straight. haha I can't make a move anyway when im around all of my family. My mom ended up getting internet on my laptop because her shitty PC didn't end up working. So I had internet but my mom was working on it most of the time so I didn't get to blog much.

The drive back was hell. We were stuck in traffic for like 2 hours straight and that saved me from having to go to some weeding that one of my dad's uncle's sons was having that night. Yah... I really didn't want to go. My dad and mom ended up going for 30min saying hi, eating, then saying bye.

Today I spent most of the day at my grandparents apartment. My amazing aunt was there and we sat and had good conversations together. I miss her so much. There was this AMAZING summer that I stayed at her house in LA 4 years ago. Sooo much fun. I'll have to write that story and post it some time.

My cousin that I went out with said that her friends told her they would take me out one night and to add them on facebook and make plans. I think I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe go to a gay club in Tel Aviv if they are up for it. The only thing is that they run CRAZY selection at the doors. 10 times worse then Las Vegas is. So we will see...

I have been thinking about my future and what I want to do with my life. Business seems like the right direction. Idk we will see how it goes. One year in a shitty community college and then im getting the fuck out of there and on to the rest of my life.

Well it's getting late. I'm going to bed! Goodnight!

Soo what have I been up to?

Well... (there's a picture of me at the beach =p)

My dad and my younger brother got into town about a week or so ago and ever since then its been going better. My dad got here and was like "lets go to the beach." So we all went to the beach. I've been sitting on the beach and drinking beer's like they are water lol I feel like it makes me look more manly.

We went on like a tourist day and went to the Tank IDF museum type place. It was pretty cool. Then we went to "mini israel" and that was ok. We got to like see israel in mini form. haha

We also went to this place where it was a street full of handmade stuff that people made. I got a wallet there. It was pretty cool.

Then we went to the beach some more. Oh and the mall. We always go to the mall. I dont really care much for shopping right now lol I'm still in this "i dont like the way i look so i dont want to buy myself nice things to wear" stage lol gym is needed.

Also exciting news! We booked out hotel for New York!! Super excited. We are heading there at the end of the month and staying for 4 nights. IM SO EXCITED!! I'm hopping to go get my white iPhone 4 while im there.

This post is super short. I just kinda had to catch you guys up and all the details didn't really matter haha.

I haven't seen any cute gay guys. Maybe one or 2 hot guys. One of them was american though. I need to get laid. Like in vegas if I want to just have sex with someone I can. Here its like im super horny and all I can do is jack off. Plus I can't get way from my family. It's like I have no privacy. So jacking off is hard to do anyway lol Is it me or is there not that much stuff to jack off to lately? If you have some good links and want to send them my way i'll let you know how i "feel" about them lol I had this dream last night where I hooked up with this random straight guy in a bathroom. I sucked his dick and he was going crazy at how good it felt. To bad it was only a dream... haha

Anyways... im off to google but not to play. Not enough privacy to play right now.

Wow almost a week.

Yikes. I have been gone a while lol. I just wanted to make a quick update. Ever since my dad has gotten here we have been having a blast. Its like a complete change in energy around here. I wish I could write about all the stuff in this post but I have about 20 mins to get ready to leave the house for the day and Im still sitting in my PJ's lol

I decided that instead of flying alone I would extend my trip and be with the family. (instead of flying home yesterday I'm staying until the 29th). That also means that I'll be going on a family trip to New York =p Im super excited for that also. I'm thinking about seeing American Idiot on broadway. I was thinking about seeing In The Heights but American Idiot seems more my type. It sounds like a type of musical that rent was but with music from Green Day (which its to bad they only took the songs off that one album. There older stuff is amazing!)

Well anyway. I have been enjoying myself and drinking way to many beers. lol We are taking a trip down to ellat which is the southern part of Israel and can be compared to like the Miami of Israel. We are leaving for that on Sunday. (don't forget Israel is a day a head of America. ex: Monday here is Sunday in America).

Well I have to go jump in the shower. bye =p

Ummm. No.

Seriosly? I'm a very fun an inejectic person that just happens to be having a though time RIGHT NOW in life. I lost my best fiends, an uncle, and I'm living with people that aredealing with hard times. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm bitching. Maybe I am but come on. Life isn't all shits and giggles. Some times shit happens and my life isn't all fun and games and sometimes I need to vent about it to people that are not my family.

So thanks for being ok with it. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone.

P.s. I'm extremely busy. I'm going out with my family all day every day. I don't really have much of a choice. So I'm not sitting home bitching on twitter.

P.s.s. Say the cutesy guy three times in Israel so far. Super
Straight. Goes to my cousins school. Fucking hot. American. But like I said. He is straight. He was at the party I went to actually. Lol

alright it's 10pm her so goodnight. Lol tomorrow I get to see my dad and brother. I'm leaving for Vegas in 4 days though. I might extend my flight. Idk. We will see what heppens.

Music Is My Boyfriend.

[title is from a song. any guesses?]So i just uploaded the blog post from two days ago right now and im waiting for my aunt to pick me up now.

Even thought I am blogging every other day at least its hard for me to upload them in my own privacy. Yesterday was ok. We went out and got lunch at the restaurant right on top of the beach. I love sitting on the back. Its amazing. Pure realization. My cousin im liking with and another cousin of mine that recently moved to israel also joined us. I got to see my aunt and uncle that lived with us in vegas and then moved here around 3 or 4 years ago. Anyway… that was yesterday.

(i left with my aunt by the way and i just got back home.)

I couldn't sleep last night. There is the most annoying ringing in my room EVER. It goes in an out in different random intervals that are all different random lengths. I even tried sleeping with my iPod in but that didn't work. So what did I do? I slept during the day. When I was SO tired it couldn't bother me. Except now im super awake and everyone is tired because they spend the day at the pool. Woo.

So yah. I just got back from BBB (thats burger burger bar). I didn't eat a burger because I had one last night. BEST BURGER EVER by the way. The fries and the caesar salad were both amazing as well. The place was called Wolfnight. AMAZING. So today I just had chicken and fries. Pretty boring. Now im back home and doing nothing. Everyone is doing nothing as well. (nothing as in they are showing or playing games on the iphone and stuff).

So yah. As much as I want to go out there is no where to go or anyone to go with. Fun…

Ok. well im going to sulk in the humidity. Also who has a twitter?!? I need to start following you guys because right now I only know of like 3 of you that tweet haha.

my twitter is: http://twitter.com/sinceyoutweet whats yours?!?!

These blogs are being uploaded a day or 2 delayed.

So this was my thoughts two days ago lol here you go:

Well… I haven't blogged in a while. I don't have much privacy or time so it doesn't really work out. Like I can type at night in my room but there is no connection here to post it. Oh well…

So here is how its going. Im kind of over it. Israel is fun and all but it doesn't feel like a vacation. I'm living with a family who just lost a husband/dad to cancer. Im going with them to do all the family stuff and its just like I am doing things for them. Like the other day I fixed her videos of him. Today we went and looked at cars that she needs to get because she is getting rid of his car. We went and got dinner and the little kid is crying and she is all depressed. Its not fun after a while…

The my little cousin (he is 4) is really cute but kids really get to me. The cry and cry and get what they want. They are rude and disrespectful and always end up getting what they want. It's absurd. Then again I know. He is a little kid but still. It gets annoying to have to sit in the middle of the freeway for 20min because the kid starts crying.

Like my mom promised me it wouldn't be this way. I told her I only wanted to do 3 things. Be on the beach drinking a beer at sunset, get shwarma (a type of food), and get ice cream at this place that is my favorite. Everyday she promises me the same thing and every day we get stuck doing shit that my aunt needs to do. Literally like im just stuck here for the ride of her family.

Oh and don't you tell me they have it worse. I know they do but its not like my family is better know. Think of the facts: my dad and mom haven't been in the same place for over 3 months now. My mom left and my brother still hansn't seen her in those 2 months. I have seen her but for 14 days then I leave and I don't get to see my dad or brother for another month. Like we all can't be in the same place and see each other. Its impossible.

I feel like everything is going downhill and its scares me. Everything was so good. I'm ready for the end of this roller coaster…

i want a boyfriend and friends that I can consider TRUE friends. I want to be happy again. but how? idk. im just ready for this to be over right now.

tomorrow is going to be different. at least thats what my mom promised. breakfast on the beach. lets see how that one ends up going…

10 days of israel left.

p.s. i deleted danika off Facebook. she posted in this group message about how i was in israel. I got so angry. How dare she say my name. Who the hell does she think she is. And speak for me?!?! go to hell.

So last night was awesome.

Agh! I had to much fun last night. First off I got a haircut and then I ate dinner. That was really it before the night part.

My cousin who moved here to go to college invited me to a party last night. It was so much fun. I got to meet all these really cool people and for the first time ever I got to legally drink lol Yes! haha not much to it other then the fact that the party wasn't being broken up this time.

I had myself a few shots and a few mixed drinks. I knew my cousin and a friend that she also invited that was visiting. Other then that I met people there. After the party we all went out to this club called Central Park. It was really nice. It was outdoors so it was super hot and sweaty.

Well. I HAVE to go so bye. I'll write more about this latter!

Forgot to post this after posting the wrong post haha

fml. posted the wrong file last night and then deleted the right one off my laptop. So here is short version lol

So right now its thursday morning. Yesterday after the gardner came and fixed the water the bug spray guy came to spray the house so we had to leave the house. We went and meet up with this guy that is re-doing my uncle's grave. He had it so that the top of his grave is a big garden. So they are going to add water falls and a bridge and asian style flowers. Stuff like that.

After that we went and picked up one of my cousins and we went to eat. While we were there I got my eyebrows waxed next door because the person that does it is my aunts friend. She later joined us for lunch lol Then we went and got my second cousin and went and got my mom a rental car. After that mess we went and spend a few hours at my aunts friend's house. To my surprise im "John from youtube." As everyone knows who I am. lol Kinda cool yet a little creepy lol. Anyway… we headed to their end of the year school play thing that they did. It was boring so I played tetris. I got to level 15. yay haha

So cool trip for you guys (also why i post so late/early). Take the Pacific time and add 3. Then change AM to PM or PM to AM. So it its 11:13pm in LA or LV its 2:13AM here. Da dah! haha

First Day In Israel!

Well I'm currently in my room downstairs in the basement so the wifi isn't available. That means im typing this in a document and I'll paste it into blogger latter.

There isn't much to say really. I had monday morning and landed in Israel tuesday morning. It was a total of 17 hours of flying. The flight wasn't to bad. I stayed up the night before with my cousin. We went to see Grown Ups (which is an amazing movie by the way) and then we just hung out till 4am when we headed to the airport. The flight was in two parts. From vegas to newark (NJ) and then from newark to Tel Aviv (Israel). The first flight I was so tired but I was forcing myself to stay up so I could sleep on the longer flight. So I used up my iPhone's battery playing games and listing to music. The second flight was so long. I was half asleep between the first 4 hours of the flight and then I couldn't sleep for the rest of the flight. I ended up watching shutter island and it was so good. Other then that the flight was pretty smooth.

I landed here and my mom and my aunt picked me up. We headed to get some food and a few other stuff she needed to get done. Then we headed to her house. Its gorgeous. One of the nicest houses I have seen. It's big and modern and has a cute spacious back yard. Anyways… I took a shower and then my uncle came over to pick up this mic that he bought and was shipped to our house in LV (I brought it in my suit case). Then my uncle, cousin, my mom, and I all went on a little walk to the cafe and I had a coffee. It was nice.

Right now its Wednesday morning. The time at home in las vegas is tuesday night. I have somewhat of an idea of how the day is going but not for sure. I'll let you guys know. Tomorrow night I'm going out with my cousin (thats 20 and goes to college here but lived with me in vegas and grew up with me). We are going to this birthday party and then we are going out to a club. She also said something about taking me to a gay club in Tel Aviv but I don't think she has time really. She has finals going on right now.

Well… I'm waiting for the guy to fix the water because it has a leak and they turned it off. I really want to take a shower. It REALLY humid here as a posed to vegas where its complete dry. So showers are really a blessing haha

K. Well I'm going to go and see whats up with the water guy. I'll talk to you all later! BYE! =p

Got My Laptop Fixed.

Shout out to the AMAZING apple "genius" who worked some special moves on my mac last night and fixed my laptop.

So other then thinking way to much I haven't done much with my life. I guess thats what summer is for right? Doing nothing. I really needed this break. Vacation time is my time and I love it. Remember how I said I was going to Israel soon? Yah well soon got sooner.

My flight is on the 28th at 6:40am. Its a 17 hour flight total with a stop in NJ. The stop is only an hour and a half so its not that bad. Basically just get my luggage and move it to the next flight and maybe grab a coffee then head onto the flight. I will be there for around 2 weeks.

I wen't shopping the other day. I got a bunch of shorts, shirts, and shoes. I still need to go get some socks and boxers still because I'm running short lol I'm hopping that Israel doesn't turn out the way i'm expecting it to. You know... boring. If anything I'm just going to go to the beach and do nothing all day then just go out alone to a club or something. Idk. We will see.

I keep thinking about the people I went on the trip with. Do they even slightly regret what they did? Do they even think about it? Are they mad at me? There are times when I just want to go "fuck you you ignorant piece of shits I thought were my friends" to their faces. I don't really care much for being friends with them. It's kind of just like a bad breakup except with 3 people rather then one. You have all these memories, inside jokes, songs you sang together, all these firsts that you experienced together, some of the best moments of your life that happened with them and then all of a sudden they are completely gone. Forever. Not even a good bye.

I gained like 6 pounds so far this summer. I think I have picked up this trait where im eating my feelings lol I need to start working out again. I have just been in this shitty mood because of this whole thing. Some nights are really awesome and some are really shitty.

I could call other people and talk to them and hang out with them but I just don't want to. I don't trust people. I'm just not at the point where I can talk to a person without feeling like everything I say to them needs to have a filter to it. Well... other then you guys.

Well... thats about it. I'm going to go now. I'll blog while I'm in Israel for sure so I'm not going to be gone for long. Alright. I'll talk to you guys soon. Bye.

Fuck This Life.

I want out.

John. You can't just leave everything for nothing.

I want to just leave and live in LA.

You have no place to stay and $1,000 to your name.

You are so far behind fucked. You haven't done shit with you life. Just run.

You can't run. You have a plan just stick to it.

I don't want the plan. Fuck business school. Fuck community college.

Its a plan and its only 2 years till you transfer out. Then your life will start a new.

Fuck that. It's two years in a hell whole. With shit heads that arn't worth shit. Like Shelby. Not to mention she is actually going there. Oh and Taylor is as well.

It's just an education. Get a degree and move on. You don't need to talk to anyone. Just go and leave.

Fuck that. While my friends are partying it up with frats and shit in a dorm out of town.

Thats your fault. You are the one with the not so great GPA and 1400 on your SAT.

Yah, I know. I'm lazy and suck at doing shit work that is a waist of my life. I'm smarter then 90% of the fucking shit heads that I graduated next to and I can say that with absolute certainty.

It's over now. Just get threw the next two years.

I DONT WANT TO SUFFER ANOTHER 2 YEARS. I WANT OUT. I want to live in LA. With a medical marijuana card. I'll fucking figure it out when I get there.

You can't just "figure it out!" That shit doesn't work. Plus. You will have your name on some fucking database. Then its going to come back and hunt you when your 30 and want to do something with your life.

I have been watching weeds all day. I'm going to LA tomorrow to drop my brother at his 2 week camp shit. Then im leaving for Israel. Yup secrets out. My parent's were born in Israel. That's where my moms been at. Im going there for 2 weeks because I have nothing but shit to do here. I literally have been using netflix for then I have been social. I think I might have forgotten how to speak. I'm ready to dip out.

Israel isn't going to be a vacation. Im staying at my aunts house. The house where her husband just died. Where she cries every night because she is still dealing with it. I don't really give to shits right now about going to clubs and drinking (cause I can there) and shit.

I just want a person that I can talk to. That isn't just over the internet. Like a person I can hug or kiss or fuck. But that shit is going to happen. You know why? because no fucking guy has ever likes me. Plus its not like I have that many options right now. I don't know where to find any more gay guys in this city. Fuck. It's not like I hang out in the gay crowd. I don't know how the fuck im going to find a normal guy while im sitting watching fucking netflix.

I'm so done with living every day doing absolutely nothing with my life. I don't like my life right now. I hate it.

I know my life a month ago was fake as shit. Yah... but at least my fake life had me fake happy. Now im miserable as shit.

sorry. just had to vent for a min there. you guys are all i really have left.