To my last post: I decided that I can not focus on negative things for a long time. I wrote my feelings down, for the exact reason why I started this blog, to be an open book. I did however post it with rage and not with a clear mind, which was my mistake. Don't get me wrong... I disagree with the law and I think it's stupid. I just can't sit here and stay angry over something that, right now, wont change.
About Jake: He was on vacation so I didnt want to bother him much this weekend. If he texts me then sure but we will see.
My past: Well here is a little history we need to cover before any of the stuff i want to talk about will make sense: I was a party whore. I went out and got waisted every weekend. I did it all the time. The worst part was that it introduced me to weed. I loved weed. I smoked at least once a week. I was VERY responsible about it. It was something that made me happy. I made lot's of friends doing it as well. I stopped partying because I hated it. It was filled with lies and fake personalities. The weed stayed though. I started smoking more and more. It got really bad when I stopped caring about getting caught and I just wanted to smoke. The week my parents found my weed is the week my life was at an all time high (no pun intended). I literally smoked about $100 worth or weed. Thats about 3 times a day: before school, after school, and at night. First I don't regret smoking weed at all. If it wasnt for that week I would probably still be smoking it. The reason I really stopped was not for me, it was for everyone else. It was because I was loosing my best friends. It was because I made my mother cry. It was because I was spending my mothers money.
I've been sober for 6 months. I can't tell you that I'm happy about it but im definitely not sad. I will one day smoke weed again. I plan on getting a medical card for it when I turn 18 and move out. (I have scoliosis. It's a mild case but still...).
Why I told you: I didnt post this so I could be like, "look a the me. im cool cause i smoked week." Not at all. I'm not proud out it and its not something I tell people right away. I just needed to get it out. Dont think of me as a druggie kid. I'm not. I'm clean, nice, attractive, and I care about my body. I'm healthy and I am very motivated in school.
I have to go now but I'll talk to you guys either tonight or tomorrow!
-John
3 comments:
I used to live on a boat on the canals and rivers of England and during that time met all sorts and conditions of people, including some who smoked the weed to get over physical illness, mask it and help them psychologically cope with being ill.
For certain conditions I'm sort of in favour of it. Doesn't necessarily make it clever or wise at other times and other that in sensible amounts.
I'm among those who have had a small recreational use for cannabis at some stage of life but who don't currently use it nor have done for yonks.
It doesn't make you or me a 'druggie' as we understand the term - nor does it probably make that expression appropriate for many of the people I met who used it for pain relief.
Uhm i can see how its easy to becomre a party whore. I mean sure, theyre boring at first cos u dont know anyone, but i see how you coould get dragged into it, the crowds, the 'group' stuff and everything.
As for weed ive never tried it and i dont intend to. I can already get addicted to the most stupid stuff like videogames and people :P So I think weed would just get me tooooo addicted.
Personally I think like 80% of the people who i consider my friendsin school smoke or have smoked it. I dont hold that against them, but this guy I met last summer started smoking more and more and this summer hed changed so much... It was like his old self got drained away, he was just so i dunno, detached.
But still, well done for quitting it. Its hard to stop doing stuff ure used to doing, especially if you enjoy it.
xxx
John
hey you havent been anywhere i havent 4:20 :)
take care and be safe
bob
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